Give Up, Get Outta The Way!

Something remarkable happened when I gave up. I guess I didn't actually give up, I just gave it over.

For those of you who have endured the "summer of my discontent" you know exactly what I am talking about. I have been extremely discouraged with the lack of apparent movement and provision in regard to "The Rhyme and Reason Series."

Last year I realized my former publicist embezzled so much money he nearly bankrupted the ministry. It was devastating in more ways than I can count, but one of the primary ones was that I no longer had the money to move forward to get "Exodus" to press.

A huge and timely LifeWay order gave me enough money to move forward--or--pay back a $10,000 loan that allowed me to launch the series with the release of "Genesis."  After much wrestling in prayer I felt sure the Lord would have me pay back the loan and be debt free. I trusted that provision would come as I was obedient to what the Lord asked me to do. I was pretty sure He was so happy with me that it would come soon! And so I waited. And waited. And grew discouraged. And pouted. And whined. When that didn't work, I got mad. But that didn't work either.

So I did the only reasonable thing I could think of: I took matters into my own hands! I sent out letters of support to people who have contributed to the ministry in the past and got one response. Then I asked a woman (at another woman's suggestion) if she might consider hosting a fundraiser for me like a friend did to launch the ministry. I'm pretty sure I freaked her out.

In desperation, and out of other ideas, I gave up. Or, like I said, I gave it over. "Lord," I prayed, "This series is Yours. It's always been Yours. It will always be Yours. My job is to trust You. Your job is to provide what I need when You are ready."I turned the whole thing over to Him and resolved to wait on Him for as long as it took. Because I had tried so hard in my own strength, I asked that when He finally moved, He'd do it in such a way there could be no doubt it was Him.

Meanwhile, on July 4th, a woman in the US Virgin Islands was channel surfing on her day off and came across a rerun of a television interview I had done some months before. She wrote down my web address and ordered a copy of "Genesis." After she received it she sent an e-mail asking if I'd be willing to chat  with her about a children's series she has in mind. Of course I was! We arranged a time for her to call.

She told me she cried when she read "Genesis" because of the creativity and obvious hand of the Lord behind it. She told me she had a heart for the Lord and for children and wanted me to help her figure out how she might get her series published. We talked for well over an hour. At one point she asked me why the next book in the series wasn't out yet and what I needed to make it happen. "Money!" I said, "So if you happen to have an extra $10,000 laying around, let me know!"  Silence.  "I'm kidding," I assured her. "That was a joke!"  She laughed.

We talked some more and then finally she paused and said, "Actually, I do have an extra $10,000 laying around." I nearly fainted. I had no idea what to say but we agreed to both pray about it.

A few days later she e-mailed me and told me she felt sure the Lord wanted her to sow into Rhyme and Reason Ministries and that He would have her donate the money to get "Exodus" to press!

I'm still in shock. But God moved the minute I gave it over and answered my prayer that I'd know it came directly from Him in a most mind-boggling way!

So now it's your turn. Was there a time in your life where the Lord did something for you after you gave over. Or are you in the process of giving over to Him now so He can show off on your behalf--and move?

Jaw-Dropping Perspective Shift

I just read something shocking and I want to share it with you. I have no doubt you will find it as fascinating as I did, and that it will change your perspective as it changed mine.  I'm not sure who gathered this information, so I don't know whom to credit or I would happily do so.  Here goes.

If you could fit the entire population of the world into a village consisting of 100 people, maintaining the proportions of all the people living on the Earth, that village would be made up of:

57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 Americans (North, Central and South)
8 Africans

There would be:

52 women and 48 men
30 Caucasians and 70 non-Caucasians
30 Christians and 70 non-Christians
89 heterosexuals and 11 homosexuals

6 people would possess 59% of the wealth and they would all come from the USA
80 would be in poverty
70 would be illiterate
50 would suffer from hunger and malnutrition
1 would be dying
1 would be being born
1 would own a computer
1 (yes, only one) would have a university degree

Consider the following:

If you woke up this morning in good health, you are better off than the one million people who won't live through the week.

If you have never experienced the horror of war, the solitude of prison, the pain of torture, are not close to death or starvation, then you are better off than 500 million people.

If you can go to your place of worship without fear that someone will assault or kill you, then you are more fortunate than 3 billion people.

If you have a full fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are wealthier than 75% of the world's population.

If you currently have money in the bank, in your wallet and a few coins in your purse, you are one of 8 of the privileged few among the 100 people in the world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, you are a rare individual.

If you can read this post, you are extremely fortunate because you aren't one of the 2 billion people who can't read.

Amazing stuff, isn't it? My question for you is how has this information changed your perspective. Please be sure and leave me a comment. I'm genuinely curious.  Thanks!

It's Deja Vu All Over Again!

It's been a few years ago now, but before the first book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series" came out, I was feeling very frustrated with how long it was taking for everything to come together so my vision could become a reality. There were a few times when I was tempted to take matters into my own hands and self-publish, or put out an audio book.  Something! Anything!  Each time I would make a move, the Lord would say to me, "Catherine, if you will not get ahead of Me, if you will not take matters into your own hands, if you will not give birth to an Ishmael, I will give you an Isaac."

I can't tell you how many times that caution kept me waiting on Him and trusting Him to move.  And eventually, He did exactly that. It was worth the wait after all.  The books are all I had hoped they would be and people's response to them have proven to be everything I had dared to hope.

During all the waiting I had innocently but foolishly assumed that getting the first book published would be the hardest part of the journey and that everything after that would be relatively easy. What I learned instead after climbing that first mountain and looking out from its peak--was that there was an entire mountain range stretching out before me! It was genuinely shocking to me to realize this journey was never going to be an easy one--even with the Lord in it!

I am irritated to find myself in the same position of frustration I was in with the first book as I wait for the Lord to provide the means for the series to continue. It's been two years since "Matthew" came out. I thought for sure I'd have 4-6 more books out by this point. It's been extremely difficult to figure out exactly what the Lord is doing and why He seems to be procrastinating again!

The good news is I have no choice but to wait on Him. I can't move forward on my own or, knowing me, I probably would! But I am reminded of His past faithfulness and resting in the fact that He always finishes what He starts--whether that involves my sanctification or the series.

And so I wait. And even though I am eager for provision and movement, I don't wait as one with no hope. I wait with confidence that God is in this and He is ever faithful. He moves according to His time table and not mine. He always has, He always will. Perhaps the lesson is learning to be grateful for  what He has already done and have faith for what He is yet to do.

I just wish I knew if learning it would move things forward again!

Careful What You Pray For

Everything about my life seems to go in spurts. I reread, for the 647th time, "Destined For the Throne" by Paul E. Billheimer.  It reignited a deep yearning within me to go to greater depths in my walk with the Lord, as it always does which is why, even though I have books stacked everywhere and my reading list is a mile long, I reread that book often. I spent several days worth of my prayer time pouring my heart out to the Lord, telling Him how much I want to know Him, how desperately I want to come to a place of such surrender and obedience that His life in me is evident to everyone I encounter. I declared my singular allegiance. And I meant every word of it.

I guess I sort of expected accolades from heaven, answers to my prayers, or revelation from the Word.  Instead, all hell broke loose.

I can't even describe it.  Multiplied frustrations. Staggering disappointments. Someone closest to me saying something that devastated me. That pesky negative thinking cycle. All of it left me feeling downright depressed, discouraged and demoralized.

It's really been a hard few weeks. And there is no end in sight. After spending days in the "poor, poor, pitiful me" cycle, it was like the Lord shook me and said, "You need to stop moping. I'm just answering your prayer."  

"What?!" I yelled in my head, "I want to be close to You, not frustrated and demoralized wondering where You are when I have such passion to know You!"

But suddenly, everything started to make sense. The way we draw close to the Lord is through trials! The way we learn to trust Him is by clinging to Him! The way our faith grows is by having to exercise it!  The way we surrender is by acknowledging our own inadequacies. And I realized the Lord was only allowing opportunities for me to do just that. Draw close, pour my heart out, exercise faith. Trust Him despite the circumstances. Realize how poor is spirit I truly am. Cling to the truth and not the lies.

At that point all I could do was laugh! And give thanks. Thanks that He hears and answers my prayers. Thanks that He loves me enough to take me through hard stuff, confusing stuff, hurtful stuff so I can better learn the sufficiency of Christ in all things. Thanks that He is using this life to prepare me to rule and reign with Him throughout all eternity! From that perspective, everything looks much different. 

As someone much wiser than me once said, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."  James 1:2-4

The Message puts it this way: "Consider it a sheer gift, my friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so that you are mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Amen. Thank you Lord, for loving me enough to grow me up in You.

These Three

"But now abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love." 1 Cor. 13:13

Fatih, according to the timeless wisdom and relevance of the Bible, is defined in Hebrews 11:1 as the confident assurance that the things we hope for will actually come to pass. Other translations are a little more poetic, but the essential truth is that faith is an unwavering belief in Jehovah God and a firm confidence in His fidelity to His promises. It is the essential component to any serious endeavor to live a Christian life. By faith we are saved, thus instigating the journey. It's the starting point of a transformed life for those who embark on an eternal relationship with the invisible God. Faith is the conduit--the connection--of the finite with the infinite.

Hope is the mechanism by which the connection is sustained. It is the part of us that is certain there is a God in heaven who can and does intervene in our circumstances and who has a purpose for our lives that continues into eternity. It is a gift from God that we can also give to one another. How good of God to let us join the fun! We can offer hope to one another, bear one another's burdens and, "comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2 Cor. 1:4) We are comforted and comfort others with the hope that God is at work and we have not been abandoned regardless of how bleak things might seem at a particular moment in time.

Interestingly, faith and hope are not eternal qualities, but essential tools for navigating life in a fallen world. They will be unnecessary in the world to come. The instant we see God face-to-face, our faith will be rewarded and our hope realized. And when they are, it will be more extraordinary than anything we can possibly imagine! What I like to call the eternal gasp of delight.

But love? Ah! Love is eternal! God is love and God is eternal, therefore our faith and hope will culminate in the unending and ecstatic enjoyment of Divine perfection and love. It's the greatest of the three because it is the perpetual and sine qua non (without which not) nature of God.

How magnificent of the Lord to give us all the tools we need to navigate a life of faith while we are "alive and remain," then sweep us into His heavenly home to dwell with Him forever in the bliss of perfect love and fellowship. One thing is sure: I will cling to faith and hope tenaciously in this life, but will gladly lay them down when it's my turn to enter the supreme satisfaction and rest of the eternal life to come.

"Joy to the World" The Lord DID Come!

I have a friend who has a friend who is dying. She prayed to be healed, but instead, the Lord gave her a vision of a small, shallow, babbling brook and told her, "Dying is easier than crossing that stream." I can't shake the beauty and comfort of that thought.

When my Uncle Ned was dying, his son Bob asked him what it felt like to know he was going to die. He said he felt like a little boy getting on a bus that would take him to his grandmother's house. He had to ride the bus by himself, and that was a bit scary, but he knew that when he arrived at his destination, he would be sitting in his grandmother's kitchen eating chocolate chip cookies, and she made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world!

One of the greatest gifts the Lord gave me was an easy death for Jordan. Rather than eventually suffocating from the effects of bronciolitis obliterans, he simply never woke up after emergency surgery and instead of seeing our faces, he saw the Lord's!

It might seem odd to be writing about death on Christmas Eve, when most of us are preparing to celebrate a very significant birth. But unlike the rest of us who are born, that birth was all about a death. And that death would not be easy. It would be bloody and agonizing. It would be vile and painful--and it would be for all of us.

It would, for the first time in all eternity past and all eternity future, rip the Godhead apart and stagger the universe in an unprecedented display of atoning grace.

But that death would not be permanent. The power of God Himself would raise His Son Jesus from its cold grip and in that triumphant victory, overcome our final enemy on our behalf. At last, salvation had come to mankind!

At Christmas we celebrate the most significant of births. At Easter, we celebrate Christ's glorious resurrection. In between those two events are His life and His death. And for me, none of it can be separated. For without His birth, there would no substitutionary Life, and without His death there would be no resurrection.

I pray the significance of all that God has done on your behalf would resonate in your soul this Christmas and manifest itself in heart-felt worship to the King.

Home Away From Home

I went to get my nails done today, a fact that irritates my husband just as much as it delights my publicist who insists, "If you're going to sign books, your hands need to look as professional as the rest of you."

I went to the same place I always go, a shop just up the street from my house, owned, like most nail salons it seems, by a Vietnamese couple. Usually the wife does my nails but today her husband Tran had the honor.

After the requisite discussion about the relentless heat, he asked about my children, so after answering him, I returned the favor and asked about his. They have two, a son and daughter, both students at OU. I asked if they had been born in this country, and he said, "No Vietnam. But we left when the youngest was two." That was eighteen years ago.

I asked if they had been back since, and he said told me they'd only been back once because it is so expensive. I asked if he missed it and he replied with a most emphatic, emotional, "Oh yes! It's home."

It hit me hard. He has been in this country eighteen years. His children have no memories of their birth country, yet he has chosen to make a home away from his true home.

Immediately the verse in Hebrews 11:9-10 came to mind where it speaks of Abraham and says, "By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents...for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God."

And like Tran, we Christians also are making a home on earth away from our true home which is heaven. We live here. We build our lives here. But our true home, and the one we long for even more than Tran longs for Vietnam, is with our Father and Brother.

May our hearts yearn for that home, even as we go about living the gift that life is, and using that life to do things that will glorify God and last for eternity.

See you at the reunion.

Grace Revealed

I had an e-mail exchange with someone who had seen me on one of the Florida television interviews I did recently to promote "Matthew" the second book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series." It's been out for almost a year now, but I am just now doing a belated publicity tour. Anyway, it's always a thrill when someone contacts me through the website information that's posted on the screen.

This particular woman is a few years older than me and still feeling like she hasn't fulfilled her purpose in life. She was lamenting a lifetime of mistakes. Here, in part, is my response:

As far as making a lifetime of mistakes goes, I think you are standing in a very long line! In fact, I don't know a single honest human being who isn't standing in that line. It's why we all need a Savior!

I used to struggle with feeling like God would somehow be disappointed with me as well, but more and more I am convinced that nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me any less, and nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me any more.

The One who created us adores us with a passion and zeal we cannot fathom. We human beings are trained in conditional love, so unless we have been extremely fortunate to have had someone demonstrate it to us, we have no real frame of reference for what true unconditional love acts and feels like.

I had a grandmother who adored me and spent almost every summer of my young life trying to help me improve my school work. She was a Special-Ed teacher and I would go over to her house every day and work through workbooks of all the subjects I struggled with, which was most of them.

She never scolded me for my mistakes. I never felt her frustration as I did mine when I failed to grasp a concept we had gone over and over. She never made me feel stupid. She always gently encouraged me. It felt so reassuring to have her sitting next to me as I labored over my work.

Every year she would have me pick out something I really wanted and put it in the chair across the table from where I sat to encourage me to reach the goal. If, at the end of the summer, I had successfully completed all the workbooks--you know--earned it, she would proudly hand me the gift I had picked out.

The only one I really remember was the Chatty Cathy doll. Oh, I wanted it so badly! It was almost torture to have her sitting across from me in her box, just waiting for me to get all my work done so I could break her out of her cardboard prison and pull the string that would magically let her "talk."

I didn't get all the assignments completed that year. Math, particularly, was and still is a torment. I was crushed. My little heart was so sad. Worst of all, I felt like I had disappointed my grandmother who had invested so much time in helping me. I knew she really wanted me to be able to earn my prize.

So on that last day of summer, I was feeling very dejected. She went over to the chair and picked up the doll to put it away. Or so I thought. Instead she got down on her knees and handed her to me. She said something along the lines that even though I hadn't completely finished the workbooks I had worked very hard and had learned. She told me how proud she was of me and then she told me the doll was mine. That it had always been mine, since the first day of summer.

That's how I think the love of God is. Everything He has for us is ours already. We don't earn it, because we can't, no matter how hard we might try. It's a futile effort. It's ours because He chooses to give it to us. Everything we have is a grace gift from the One who longs to give us Himself most of all.

My Redemption is Revealed!

My daughter Jessie graduates from college this coming Saturday. She is a fifth year senior because she studied abroad last year and it set her back a bit. But she would be the first to tell you it was a grand experience and well worth having to "redshirt" in order to graduate.

For those of you who might not know, she is the youngest of my three children, my only girl, and the overachiever of the family. She is the one who made up her mind in the 8th grade that she was going to be the valedictorian of her high school class--and she was. She is the one who decided to study abroad, made all the arrangements herself--and did. She is the one who looked for and found scholarships--and got them. The one who applied for a grant to try and find ways to make baked goods healthier--and got it.

None of this is new. She is also the child who announced to me that she wasn't going to have any part of the same half day Kindergarden program her brothers had been in. She wanted to stay all day and eat lunch and take naps with her friends, thank you very much. It was more money, but I wan't about to argue with her!

She is the one who, when she was about six or seven, was quite upset that she could not flip her omelette. This meant, of course, that unbeknownst to me, she had turned on the stove, gotten the omelette pan out, cracked and beaten the eggs, grated the cheese and sprinkled it over the eggs. But she wasn't quite tall enough to reach over with the spatula and get it flipped. Which is pretty much what I did when I walked into the kitchen and saw what she was doing!

So it comes as no surprise to those who know her that she will graduate with honors and has already been admitted into graduate school where she will receive dual Master's Degrees. Who knew you could get two at a time?

However, the reason I am telling you all of this is not only to brag on her, though as you can see, I am quite happy to do just that! It is to show you the redemption of the Lord in my life.

You see, I was a horrible student from Kindergarden through my dubious college experience. After the first week of Kindergarden I couldn't figure out why they kept sending me back every week. I hated everything about school, and that attitude never really changed. By ninth grade I had all but stopped showing up for class. At the end of the year, I had five Fs and a D. I have no idea how I got the D. The only reason I made it into 10th grade is because I changed school districts after my parents severed their parental rights and put me in The Sunbeam Home.

I actually managed to graduate, and after three years in Youth With a Mission, I went back to college for two and a half years before I got married and started having kids.

Jordan, my oldest, had a difficult time in school as well, but he had ongoing health issues and that probably contributed to a lot of it. He simply felt bad most of the time.

For high school he went to a small home school co-op. There were just five kids in the graduating class and that year, and after he graduated we went to Boston for our family vacation and toured the Harvard campus. As we were leaving, I put my arm around him and said, "Son, from now on you can tell everyone you know you graduated 5th in your class and went to Harvard! If they ask you any questions, just hold your hand up and say modestly, 'No, really, enough about me...'"

Anyway, Jacob and Jessie always did very well in school. For Jacob it just came easily. He graduated from OU magna cum laude two years ago and is going to seminary to get his Masters of Divinity degree. Jessie, on the other hand, worked very hard. I have never known anyone--man, woman or child--as disciplined and determined as her. She amazes me.

But here's the redemptive part. I have always deeply regretted squandering the educational opportunities that were handed to me on a silver platter. I had carte blanche--opportunities most people only dream about--and I blew them all.

Yet the God who is capable of redeeming everything, has redeemed that regret in my life through two of my children. What I squandered, they took advantage of. What I wasted, they utilized. What I missed out on, they have enjoyed. Where I failed, they have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations!

That's just how God does things.

I don't usually ask questions of my readers, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want! And my question to you today is, "What is it that you need God to redeem in your life? What regret do you want to give Him and allow Him to bring to a satisfactory conclusion? It may take time, but He can do it.

Truly, there is nothing too hard for the Lord. And He delights even more than we do in being able to take our failures and redeem them--even if He does it through our children.

Easter 2011

A woman in my Bible study sent me a link with the lyrics to a song about loss--and the loss of a child particularly--that really moved my heart. What follows is my response to her and the other women in our core group.

The Lord was a very present and inexpressible comfort to me when Jordan died. There have only been a few times when I have felt so tenderly held and loved and cared for by Him as I did in those first dark and incomprehensible days of the deepest bereavement a heart can endure.

There were many times during Jordan's life and illness when his friends would ask him if he ever wondered, "Why me?" And he always said, "No, never! The question is 'Why not me?'"

We live in a fallen world. There is, thank God, great joy to be found, but there is also incredibly deep heartache and pain. He seemed to understand that and not question it or blame God.

From the time he was 2 (I am NOT making this up!) Jordan wanted nothing more than to be married and have a house full of children! He talked about it all the time--his whole life. He never got to do either. (One of my most treasured conversations with him took place after his doctor told him he probably only had another year or two to live. On the way back home, I put my hand on his leg and asked him how he was feeling about what the doc had said. I will never forget his plaintive response. "Mom, I just don't want to die a virgin!" But he did.)

Yet I know that if God promised him a beautiful wife and the best 5 kids who ever lived, he would not consider leaving the glories of heaven for this old world for even a nanosecond! I find tremendous comfort in that realization.

It was eleven years ago Easter weekend when he and I came home after a four month stay in St. Louis to a triumphant reception after his very successful heart/lung transplant. It was such a high point! He was the poster child for rebounding beyond anyones expectation, especially considering how close to death he had been going in. It was such a miracle, we thought for sure he would live a very long time and realize his dream to marry and have children.

And yet...it was not to be so.

But here is what I know: God's wisdom surpasses our feeble understanding. His grace is ever-present. Truly, His mercy endures forever! Our job, like our friend Joseph, whose life has resonated so deeply with us during our study this year, is to simply rest in His comfort, trust in His wisdom and believe in His promises with unflinching conviction. Eventually, it will all be crystal clear and we will marvel at all God has wrought.

And so we stand. With faith, with hope, with assurance. And hopefully the world takes notice.

I pray a blessed and happy and hopeful Easter for each of you!

Spirit Versus Flesh

I had a 9:00 phone appointment with my publicist, Kerry, yesterday to finalize my one-sheet. A one-sheet, for those of you who might not know, is a promotional piece for speakers. And there is a real art to them. It's like putting together a puzzle. The idea is to create visual impact and show who you are and what you speak about as concisely and with as much interest as possible. So it's actually like putting together a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle and still making a picture with just nine pieces! Or so it seems to me...

As the name implies, it is printed on a standard sheet of paper, but it is essential that the layout and design elements grab the eye and hold the reader's attention long enough for them to actually read it. So we had to work out the layout, colors, text, a picture, the book covers and logo all without making the page too much of a cluttered mess, and while expressing who I am as a speaker, yet also showcasing the books. It's not nearly as easy as it might appear to be on the surface.

So anyway, when I woke up, I greeted the Lord as I always do by telling Him good morning and thanking Him for another day. As I walked into the kitchen for my morning cup of joe, the Lord said, "I wish you would ask Me to help you with your one-sheet."

Now that might seem a bit odd to you, but I hope not, because God is intensely interested in every detail of our lives. It didn't seem odd to me at all. In fact, I was a bit embarrassed that He had to ask, but I laughed out loud and said, "Oh, Lord! Of course I want You to help me with the one-sheet! Why, You are the most creative Being of all--You thought of and created everything we can and can't see! Please help us to make it as perfect as it can be."

And He did! Once we had all the pieces in place and I saw the finished product, I knew we had hit a bulls-eye. I sent it to four strategic people for feedback and all of them loved it. One suggested we spell Scripture correctly, but that was it! Would that have been an embarrassing typo, or what?

That's all well and good, but it's not the end of the story. I had been thanking God all day for His help because I was so delighted with the results. But while I was doing one of the miserable sweat baths my ND is having me do, I began thanking Him all over again.

And then it hit me. God didn't want to help me because He felt left out or had nothing else to do, or even because He loves me and is interested in every detail of my life. He wanted to help me so that His fingerprints would be all over it and His Spirit could go with it to accomplish the goals He intends it to accomplish.

That which is born or done in the flesh is flesh. But that which is done in or with the Spirit has all of the power of the Spirit behind it. He simply cannot bless or use the former, and He simply cannot not bless the things He instigates and is involved with. What a wonderful reminder this was to me as I lay in the tub boiling my body.

It is also the difference between striving and resting. I realized I had been striving to build my speaking business in my own strength and asking God to bless my efforts! After the bathtub revelation, my attitude immediately changed. I don't have to strive or try to make it happen in my own strength. Now that God's fingerprints are all over it, all I have to do is send them where He leads me to send them, give them to whomever He leads me to give one to, and then rest in Him while He does the real work.

This is true no matter what we are doing. That is walking in the Spirit, and it is the only thing that allows Him to move for our good and His glory. And that is always our goal, isn't it?

Life's Like an Hour Glass Glued to the Table

It seems odd to me that I have lived most of my life. I still think of myself as the mother of three young children. But one is buried, one is married, and one is getting ready to graduate from college. The younger two are hitting their mid-twenties even as I stare at my approaching mid-fifities and Jordan would be almost 30!

It's an old lament. As old as post flood mankind, I suppose. "How did I get here so quickly? Where have the years gone?" Yet when it is my mouth forming the words, they take on a new and surreal meaning.

It was my grandparents who were old. Not me. And then my parents. But not me. And now it is me! Okay, not yet old, but not young either.

Gone is the foolishness of the teenage years. Gone is the thrill and adventure of all the open ended possibilities of my twenties. Gone is the delight of childbearing and the challenges of child-rearing. Gone is the houseful of children with all their busyness, commotion and endless activities.

Some days I thought it would never end and now I can't believe it ended so quickly.

This momentary melancholy will pass, because I am one of the fortunate ones. I was able to stay home and raise those children. By His great and unsearchable grace, they all love and serve the Lord.

While there is much to look back on, there is much to look forward to as well! The delight of grand children. Finishing and promoting "The Rhyme and Reason Series" and watching all God has in mind to accomplish through it. Precious friendships, a strengthening marriage, the work of the Kingdom, mentoring younger women, and the list goes on.

And then, one day, "In the twinkling of an eye" it will all be over. Instead of "looking through the glass dimly" at eternity, it will be the other way around! I will look back with dim recollections of the life I am living at this very moment, yet everything done and accomplished in the name of Christ will remain. I don't know exactly how that works, but I know it's true, because God declares it in His Word, and His Word never fails.

So with whatever time I have left, I echo the words of Paul in Philippians 3:13-14, "I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the high call of God in Christ Jesus."

There is nothing more satisfying than a life well-lived for Christ and nothing worse than a life lived and gone in vain.

"What, me worry?"

I was at my friend Gayle's house out in the country a few weeks ago when the weather was still warm. She does these incredible therapeutic massages and I'd taken a new friend out to experience her magic.

Gayle's husband Jimmy has made an oasis of flowers, paths, fountains and sitting areas out among the hills and scrub oaks and I decided to read a book and bask in the warmth of the sun while Patricia was getting her massage.

It was an absolutely perfect day by Oklahoma standards. Blue skies, mild temperature, no humidity and just the slightest breeze.

I wandered around for several minutes trying to decide which of the many spots would be the most aesthetically pleasing and finally picked a place just off the back deck where a symphony of flowers surrounded me and a tiny fountain gurgled in a cobalt blue container.

For the longest time I just basked in the warmth of the sun and marveled at all the different variety and colors of the plants and flowers that surrounded me. These are the things that always make me marvel at God's infinite creativity and the incredible beauty and complexity of the world we live in.

I finally decided to read my book, but within a few short minutes I became aware of a very strange sort of munching sound. It was faint but audible and one of the frustrating things about my ADD is that I can't filter out sounds like most people can. I hear everything.

So I started looking around to see what on earth was making this funny noise. And then I saw it. Just a few feet from me on the large, bright green leaf of a banana tree was a grasshopper munching away!

I was absolutely mesmerized for reasons I can't possibly explain. But I sat there for at least 30 minutes and listened to that grasshopper until it had chewed a golf ball sized hole in the leaf.

I was stunned by its detailed and vibrant markings. On both sides of its body were long yellow triangles outlined in black which created a vivid contrast on its bright green body. I could see its tiny, beedy eyes and the spurs on its legs.

I marveled as I thought about how beautiful it was. As I considered that those teeny, tiny eyes could actually see and that it had a tiny digestive system that would process the leaf it was eating into everything it needed to sustain its life.

Then I glanced down and to my left and saw a dozen more, just as elaborately dressed, sunning themselves on a rock. Apparently they had already eaten!

All I could think about was the goodness of God and His faithful provision. It made me think of Jesus' wise discourse in the Sermon on the Mount where He says in Matthew 6:25-29, which I feel compelled to quote in its entirety:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body as to what you should put on. Is not life more than food and the body than clothing?

"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?

"And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these."

I kept thinking about that verse as I was looking at how beautifully God had "clothed" that silly grasshopper, and how He had given it an instinct to know exactly what to eat and how much. (Side note: Have you ever noticed you never see fat insects, fish or animals? Interesting isn't it, that only we humans overindulge!)

I really can't explain why this little creature intrigued me so much! Maybe it was because it made me realize the truth of the verses I just quoted.

If God takes care of a few grasshoppers in Manford, Oklahoma, and makes sure they eat and sun and hang out with other grasshoppers, what could I, as one among the crowning glory of His creation, created in His own image and likeness, possibly have to worry about?

The answer seems ridiculously obvious.

Nothing, nada, null.

Zippo, zilch, zero.

Not one thing.

Not one.

Is God's Last Name Fibonacci?

I was talking with my friend Nancy last night and her friend Becky at an open house for a mutual friend who is starting a fab new couture coat business.

Turns out Becky is a pretty impressive woman and an interior designer to boot. I told her it's what I had really wanted to study when I finally went to college, but I had just come from three years with Youth With A Mission and knew I had a calling to be a missionary to countries behind the Iron Curtain. Russia, specifically.

My plan was to get my degree (Though I had never done well in school, my sweet father still had delusions of grandeur that I would somehow magically transform into a student--some dreams die hard.) and go back to the mission field.

To that end, I decided to get a degree in International Relations. I lasted one entire, agonizing semester until I realized that particular degree track required a bunch of boring political science classes. So I quickly scrapped that plan and decided to pursue a degree in French. Turns out that even though I had beautiful pronunciation, thanks to those early years in parochial school, I had no real aptitude for learning a foreign language.

So once again I changed my major to something I could use on the mission field. I decided to focus on philosophy and religion.

Deep sigh.

Let's just say it wasn't exactly the seminary experience I had envisioned. The philosophy classes were clinics on Humanism and the religion classes were apparently taught by the professors who had graduated with a degree in Philosophy.

The only thing I remember from it all is how difficult--nigh, almost impossible--it is to have a conversation without ever once using the word "I".

So reluctantly, and filled with the frivolousness of my choice, I moved on to my first love. Beauty, design, aesthetics.

If I'd had the courage to truly listen to my heart, I would have gleefully enrolled in the Interior Design program.

But I still had the notion I was going to go back to the mission field, and I just couldn't imagine Russians who had to stand in line for three hours for a bag of potatoes calling me to discuss window treatments and wall colors that worked in all kinds of lighting.

So I decided to get a degree in Graphic Art instead. I figured I could somehow use that skill set to...do...something...

And then I got pregnant.

So I got married. Because it seemed like doing the "right" thing after doing the wrong thing would somehow balance things out.

I'm sure God was impressed, but that will have to be an entirely different blog entry.

After Jordan was born I quit school altogether because it was too hard to juggle both our school schedules with the demands of a nursing baby and Jay's degree, since he would be supporting the family, seemed more important.

You are probably wondering what all of this has to do with my conversation with Nancy and Becky, so I'll tell you.

Turns out Becky had also had doubts about how relevant it was to decorate people's homes or offices. Surely there were more noble and important things she should be doing. Right?

But I don't think that way any more, and I'll tell you why.

Because of fibonacci.

Fibonacci, named after Leonardo Fibonacci, is the discovery of the design, order, beauty and symmetry in all of nature.

Fibonacci is the way God, the inventor of design, order, beauty and symmetry designed everything from honeycombs to pinecones to artichokes to fern leaves to sunflowers to the human body's cells to shells (The Nautilus being a famous case in point) to the spiral arms of certain galaxies to, well, you name it.

It's mathematical, it's precise and above all, it's beautiful. God created a beautiful universe full of beautiful things that reflect His infinite creativity, His love of beauty, His incredible sense of design, light, proportion and arrangement. Which makes Him the author and originator of interior design!

"The Fibonacci Sequence is most likely the most influential series of numbers in the world. This mathematical sequence (each being the sum of the two numbers before it) was discovered by Leonardo Fibonacci of Pisa in the early 13th century. In his Book of Calculations, he outlined the 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, etc., as the 'golden' numbers found in geometry, art, anatomy, music, biology, botany and conchology."

So my thinking, as I was trying to share with Nancy and Becky, is that if God delights in beauty and aesthetics, and if we are created in the image of God, how much pleasure must He get out of us using the gifts and talents He has given us and reflect His nature in everything we touch?After all, even with the chaos and destruction that resulted from the fall of mankind we still live on a beautiful earth.

Isn't that something? That even with the subsequent judgment and consequences upon the earth we can still find beauty almost everywhere we look?

To be sure, heaven will be a beautiful place. The restored earth will once again be as beautiful and perfect a reflection of its Creator as was originally intended.

So why wouldn't God want us to try to create and experience as much beauty as we possibly can? Personally, so long as these things don't become idols, I think He delights in every single reflection of His multi-faceted Self we emulate.

It's very gratifying to know I can celebrate Him by simply painting my walls a beautiful color, or by spending time in a room that gives me pleasure, much as the universe gives God pleasure.

I am giving myself permission to let God's expressions flow through me in any and every way they can.

Because I want to reflect Him.

And He is beautiful.

On Being Intentional

I would like to share an excerpt with you from the book, "A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life" by William Law. It was first published in 1728, so the language is a bit archaic, but the power of his words has not diminished with time.

Penitens was a busy merchant and very prosperous, but died when he was only thirty-five. One evening just before his death, some of his friends came to see him, and he said to them:

"My friends, I can see the tender concern you have for me by the grief on your faces, and I know what you are thinking about me. You think how sad it is to see a young man who has a prospering business delivered up to death. And if I had visited any of you in my condition, perhaps I would have the same thoughts of you. But my thoughts are no more like your thoughts than my condition is like yours. It is no trouble to me now to think that I am to die young, and without having reached all of my goals in life. Such concerns have now sunk into such mere nothings that I have no name small enough to call them by. For if in a few days or hours, I will leave this body and find myself forever happy in the presence of God, or eternally separated from all light and peace. Considering the immensity of that, can any words sufficiently express the littleness of everything else?

"Is there any dream more foolish than the dream of life that amuses us and causes us to neglect and disregard these things? Is there any folly like the folly of a life that is too wise and busy to have time for these reflections? When we consider death and sorrow, we only think of it as the sorrow of separation from the enjoyment of this life. We seldom mourn over an old man who dies rich, but we mourn the young that are taken away in the progress of their fortune. You yourselves look upon me with pity, not because I am unprepared to meet the Judge of the living and the dead, but because I am leaving a prosperous trade in the flower of my life. This is the wisdom of our worldly thoughts. And yet what foolishness of the silliest children is as great as this? For what is there miserable or dreadful in death but the consequences of it? When a man is dead, is there anything important to him besides the state he is then in?

"Our poor friend Lepidus died as he was dressing for a party. Do you think that was part of the sorrow of his death, that he did not live until the party was over? Parties, business and pleasures seem great things to us while we have nothing else to be concerned about. But add death to them and they all sink into an equal littleness. And the soul that is separated from the body no more grieves over the loss of business than the loss of a party.

"If I am going now to the joys of God, could there be any reason to grieve that death happened to me before I was forty years of age? Could it be a sad thing to go to heaven before I made a few more bargains or stood a little longer behind the counter? And if I am to go among the lost spirits, could there be any reason to be content that this did not happen to me until I was old and full of riches? If holy angels were ready to receive my soul, could there be any grief to me that I was dying upon a poor bed in an attic? And if God has delivered me up to evil spirits to be dragged by them into places of torments, could it be any comfort to me that they found me on a bed of luxury?

"When you are as near death as I am, you will know that all the different states of life, whether of youth or age, riches or poverty, are no more important to you than whether you die in a poor house or a rich mansion. The greatness of those things that follow death makes all that precedes it sink into nothing. Now that judgment is the next thing that I look for, and everlasting happiness or misery has come so near me, all the enjoyments and prosperities of life seem insignificant. And they have no more to do with my happiness than the clothes I wore before I could speak.

"But why am I surprised that I have not always had these thoughts? What is in the terrors of death, the vanities of life, or the necessities of piety that I could not have easily and fully seen in any part of my life? How strange it is that life and business should keep us so senseless of these great things that are coming so rapidly upon us.

"Just as you came into my bedroom I was thinking of how many souls there are in the world that are in my condition at this very moment, surprised by God with a summons to the other world. They were occupied with all kinds of pleasures and business and all were seized at an hour that they did not expect. Now they are frightened at the approach of death; confounded at the futility of all their labors, designs, and projects; astonished at the foolishness of their past lives; and not knowing which way to turn their thoughts to find any comfort. All their sins condemn them and torment them with the deepest conviction of their own foolishness. Before they see nothing but the sight of the angry Judge, the worm that never dies, the fire that is never quenched, the gates of hell, the powers of darkness, and the bitter pains of eternal death.

"Oh, my friends, bless God that you are not of this number, that you have time and strength to occupy yourselves with those works of piety that will bring you peace at the end. Consider this as you live out your life; there is nothing but a life of great piety or a death of great fear. If I had a thousand worlds, I would give them all for one year more--one year in which I might give to God the kind of devotion and good works that I never thought of before. Now you might wonder why I am so full of remorse and self-condemnation at the approach of death when I have lived free from scandal and debauchery and in the communion of the church. But what a poor thing is it to have only lived free from murder, theft, and adultery, which is all that I can say of myself. You know that I have never been a drunkard. But many times you have witnessed my intemperance, sensuality, and great indulgence. If I am now going to a judgment where nothing will be rewarded but good works, I should well be concerned that though I am not a drunkard I have no Christian virtues to plead for me.

"It is true, I have lived in the communion of the church and have attended its worship and service on Sundays when I was not too tired or preoccupied with my business and pleasures. But my conformity to public worship has been a thing of habit rather than any real interest in doing what God requires of those who profess faith in Christ. Otherwise I would have been oftener at church, more devout when there, and more fearful of neglecting it.

"But the thing that surprises me above all wonders is that I never had the smallest intention of living up to the piety of the Gospel. Such a thing never entered into my head or my heart. I never once in my life considered whether I was living as the laws of religion directed, or whether my way of life was the kind that would procure me the mercy of God at this hour. And how can it be thought that I have kept the Gospel terms of salvation, when I never intended in any serious and deliberate manner to know them or keep them? Can it be thought that I have pleased God with such a life as He requires, though I have lived without ever considering what He requires? How cheap do you think salvation would be if it could fall into my careless hands, when I have never had any more serious thought about it than I have had about any common bargain I have made?

"In the business of life I have used prudence and reflection. I have done everything by rules and methods. I have been glad to converse with men of experience and judgment to find out the reasons why some fail and others succeed in business. I have always had my eye upon the main end of business, and have studied all the ways and means of gaining profit by all that I undertook. But what is the reason that I have brought none of these attributes to religion? I have often talked of the necessity of rules, methods, and diligence in worldly business, so why is it that I have never once thought of any rules, methods, or disciplines to carry me on in a life of piety?

"Would you think anything could astonish and confound a dying man like this? What pain do you think a man must feel when his conscience lays all his foolishness to his charge; when it shows him how regular, exact and wise he has been in trivial matters that are passed away like a dream, and how stupid and senseless he has lived in things of such eternal importance? Had I only my frailties and imperfections to grieve over at this time, I would lie here humbly trusting in the mercies of God. But how can I call a general disregard and thorough neglect of all religious improvement, a frailty or imperfection? It was as much in my power to have been exact, careful, and diligent in a course of piety as in the business of my trade. I cold have called in as many helps, have practiced as many rules, and been taught as many certain methods of holy living as I could have for increasing business in my shop, if I had so intended and desired it.

"Oh, my friends, a careless life, unconcerned and inattentive to the duties of religion is so without excuse, so unworthy of the mercy of God, such a shame to the sense and reason of our minds, that I can hardly conceive a greater punishment for a man than to be thrown into the state that I am in--unable to do anything but reflect upon the foolishness of his life."

Penitens continued speaking until his mouth was stopped by a convulsion, which never allowed him to speak again. He convulsed frequently for about twelve hours and then gave up his spirit.

Dear Ones, could there be any greater tragedy? Let us live our lives with intention. Loving and serving the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength so that our only thought upon death is the joy we will have in finally seeing His magnificent beauty and being forever surrounded by His infinite love.

Thoughts on Writing a Good Life Story

I have recently been on a book signing tour at various Mardel bookstores to promote "Matthew" the second book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series." My last stop, before we begin the big holiday push, was to Houston.

I only sold three books that day, and two of those were to the woman who picked me up at the airport and sat at the table with me! Of the ten Mardel signings I have done, the longest one (3 hours) in the largest city (Houston), sold the least number of books by far so, on the surface, it should have been the most disappointing. But it wasn't. In fact, it was the most rewarding and I marvel anew every time I see God's hand directly at work in unmistakable ways and the delights He scatters along our paths.

As I was flying in that morning, and giving myself and the day to the Lord, I invited Him to accomplish His goals for the day. I just didn't realize until later that it would have nothing to do with book sales!

The only people I saw when I walked in the door were a woman customer and the clerk ringing up her purchases. Not wanting to interrupt, but needing to find where they put the book table, I rather timidly said hello to the clerk, told her who I was and asked where I was supposed to go. She got all excited, apologized for not recognizing me (?!) and made a comment about me flying in from Tulsa.

I also happened to look at the pile of books the customer was purchasing and saw a new Donald Miller book I didn't know was out. I asked her if she was a fan and she said she was, that this was a great book, it was on sale, she had already read it and was coming back to get more to give to her friends. As I turned to find where the clerk pointed out my table was, the customer told me she would show me where to find the book after she payed for her purchases.

A few minutes later she came up, pointed out the Donald Miller book and introduced me to her boyfriend who was also from Tulsa and had graduated from high school and college here. They were my first "customers" so I told them all about the series, showed them the books, told them the ministry tag line of, "Getting these books in people's hands so people's hands will pick up The Book!" and about the personalized CDs, etc.

The young man said he worked for Lakewood Church and he said it in such a way I could tell it was supposed to register with me. It didn't. I told him I wasn't from Houston but I was sure it was a great church, blah, blah, blah. He said, "It's Joel Osteen's church." THAT registered with me! So I gave him a book and asked him to show it to the folks at Lakewood who ran the children's ministry.

Then he said the most remarkable thing.

He told me how the two of them had prayed before beginning their day and how after they had said "Amen" he thought of one more stop he needed to make. Mardel. But time was short because of other commitments so they needed to hurry because it was out of the way of the rest of their errands. He also told me they had ever even been in that particular store before! I was thrilled to be able to put "Genesis" in their hands and have prayed several times since that the Lord will do all He has in mind to do with that connection.

They left and I began to look for other people to draw over to the table and talk with but it seemed the woman who had picked me up at the airport wanted (needed?) to talk. I was getting a bit anxious at first because giving her my undivided attention meant I couldn't engage the customers walking past the table! Finally, I was able to give up my agenda and follow the Lord's. I reminded myself that it wasn't just about book sales--it was about being where the Lord put me, doing what He wanted me to be doing in the very moment I was living. And God is always about people. It became a joy to be able to serve the Lord by listening to her.

I found out from her afterward that she is well-connected to several Bible studies and women's groups in the area so we will see what the Lord has in mind to do there as well.

But perhaps the best part of all was finding Donald Miller's new book. I sat down yesterday, in between the OU/Texas game and visiting the state fair, and read it from cover to cover. I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I will probably be buying more to give as gifts to my friends as well.

The book is about the efforts to turn his bestselling book, "Blue Like Jazz" into a movie and his discoveries in that process of what makes a good story. He began applying those principles to his real life and not just his movie life so that his real life would be a better story. As I read, I kept thinking about the story my life is "writing." I realized, as well as things seem to be going at this particular moment, that I can write a better story by making better and more intentional choices. By being "in the moment" as I recently learned from reading, "Abandonment to Divine Providence" by Jean-Pierre De Caussade, which I would also recommend to everyone I know.

We live in the moment not only by letting go of the regrets of the past and refusing to dwell on the anxiety of the future, but by being led of the Spirit and doing the next right thing in the very moment we are experiencing. Together, these two ideas: being in the moment and writing a better life story are having a profound effect on me.

Last night, as I lay in bed praying, I started thinking about ways I could begin to write a better story. I am going to try and express something here that has been bugging me and I haven't known what to do with. I hope you don't mind!

I can't tell you how many times in this past year someone, after having read the books and realizing the potential impact of "The Rhyme and Reason Series", has said to me, "I just know you are going to be famous!" Nor can I tell you how intensely uncomfortable this makes me. Because it's not about me being famous. In fact, it's not about me at all. We always give a pledge of allegiance to that notion, but it's true. It's about the Lord, His Kingdom and His eternal glory.

Like every kid in our pop-culture obsessed society, I used to want to be famous! I used to twirl and pirouette on my roller skates on my parents large driveway while singing into my hairbrush under the outside spotlighting on the house. This probably reads like a cliche, but it's true!

But I am 52 now. I have been a Christian for 36 years and have been married for 28 of those. I have raised three children and buried my oldest son six years ago this month. I seldom watch t.v. and haven't read a People magazine in years. I am mature enough and have lived long enough to know that the greatest treasures in this life are the ones we are storing up in heaven. As a result, the things of this world have less and less effect on my goals and desires and that continues to be the case as I seek to live my life in a way that will impact eternity.

Last night, as I was thinking about my story and praying, things became a bit more clear. I said, "Lord, I don't want to be famous, but I desperately want YOU to be famous!" And I really liked that thought. I liked the way it felt.

So I began thinking in a much more purposeful way about how the Lord might want to use the gifts and talents He has given me to make Him famous and I began to get too excited to sleep! I realized that a lot of the things I am already doing He will probably continue having me do. There is no doubt this series is from Him, by Him and for Him and I have always prayed, whether I am speaking to crowds or working to promote the books, that God would be glorified through it all.

But somehow, reframing it to think about my story making Him famous, gave things more clarity and focus than they have had before. Now my actions, submitted to Him and led by His Spirit, will be with that goal in crystal clear focus: Making the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the God of all creation, the One who has named all the stars, famous in all the earth so He can "draw all men unto [Himself]."

As Christians, we know that's what we are all supposed to be doing. But because the Lord ordered my footsteps on a day I had submitted to Him and had me find and read those two books, I feel better equipped to write a story that will more effectively glorify Him.

But I realized something else. God also has a story. His is a story of eternal existence, of bringing creation into being, of giving an eternal companion to His Son whom He loves, of watching that eternal companion rebel and break fellowship with Him, of sending His Son to redeem His companion so the original plan will still result in the original goal. I realized that we are part of God's story and He graciously includes us in all His plot twists. Even the ones of our own making.

It's an exhilarating thought--that we are part of God's story. A true story. Non-fiction. A story with all the elements that make an epic story. A story He will continue for all eternity.

Woops!

Wow! It's been so long since I blogged that I actually forgot I had a blog! I hope none of you have been holding your breath or you are probably a pretty shade of periwinkle blue by now.

Go ahead and exhale.

Great things are happening and I guess I will write it out for those of you who didn't hear me shouting from my housetop yesterday!

The shipping orders for "The Rhyme and Reason Series: Matthew" were being put together yesterday and I should be receiving my copies sometime next week. They are arriving just in time for the Christian Bookseller's Association Convention in St. Louis the last three days of June. I am extremely excited! Kerry, my publicist extraordinaire, has set up three book signings and several interviews while we are there. This all makes for huge potential to help spread the work about the series. I have heard about CBA for years now and am excited to be finally going and looking forward to the experience.

Kerry also managed to get a book signing scheduled at the Tulsa Mardel at 71st and Mingo for Saturday, July 31st and at Full Circle Books on Saturday, July 24th. Both the "Tulsa World" and the "Oklahoman" have agreed to run follow-up articles and announce the signings. I will also be doing a television interview on KTUL Channel 8 on Friday, July 30th around 9:00 am or so. A lot of people are doing a lot of things to help promote this series and I am in awe of all God is orchestrating. I am pretty sure I have my own personal legion of angels assigned to this project!

We also have new personalized CDs of "Genesis" available where the child hears their name being read over 40 times as they are listening to the CD and following along in the book! For example, they would hear, "Emma, this is the true story of how it all began..." and so on throughout the entire book. They are selling like crazy! We also have free downloadable coloring pages and word games available on the website. The thought was to create tools for Sunday School teachers, children's ministers, parents and grandparents or whomever, to have tools available to help them utilize the books to greater effect. Because the goal is still, "Getting these books in people's hands so people's hands pick up The Book!" To that end, we are doing all we can.

And here's why: "The Word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword." It changes lives and it changes where people spend eternity. There is no greater job than to partner with the Lord to populate heaven and decimate hell.

To that end, we labor until He comes again on clouds of glory!

Micah 6:8

I did an interview with channel 8 yesterday morning to help promote the book signing at Mardel tomorrow and as I was leaving the station I called my publicist to tell him how well I thought it went. I had a blast, said everything I wanted to say and was very excited about it all.

I was in the right hand lane on I-44 with a semi to my left just barely ahead of me. A car came barreling up behind the truck and then pulled into my lane nearly clipping my bumper. So I start talking to the driver of the reckless car (who couldn't hear me) into my phone to Kerry (who could). "Oh, well, excuse me! I guess I'm in your way. After all, I'm sure your time is much more valuable than mine!" To which Kerry chimed in just kidding along, "Yeah, don't you know who I am?" I know he was just kidding, but my blood went cold. I don't ever want to think anything like that for even a nano-second. After all, what sin does God hate more than pride? Oh, that's right--THERE ISN'T ONE!

So whether I am on a merry-go-round or a rocket ship with these books, I am nothing more than a privileged servant. I don't ever want the Lord to let me forget that. And if I ever do, I hope He slaps me so hard my head spins around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

This is all God's doing. It was His idea, they are His books and it's His ministry. My only job is to be a Micah 6:8 woman and "Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God." May He always grant me the grace to do exactly that.

It's a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life!

The oldest of all my nieces and nephews is getting married tonight and I am finding it to be surprisingly bittersweet. Jordan was the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family and, at 27 if he had lived, would surely be married by now.

I have never known a kid to talk about what kind of girl he would marry and how many children they would have as much as Jordan did. From the time he was two it was on his mind and in his thoughts and conversations. Seriously.

I am thrilled for Josh and Ashely and wish them all the best. I am surprised and a bit miffed by my melancholy. I don't often think about what Jordan missed out on in this life, because I know he is enjoying a glorious one heaven and wouldn't come back if he could.

But life is for the living and since I am still listed among them, I am sad for what he missed out on and, as a result, the rest of us have missed out on as well.

When these moments come, I make myself think back to the night he died, when the Lord allowed me to see his spirit outside of the truck window on the drive back from picking up Jacob in Norman.

Oh, I have never witnessed such joy in all my life! It doesn't exist in this realm. It radiated from within him, along with the golden, iridescent Shiknah glory of God! He was so incredibly happy! Thrilled. Ecstatic. Joy inexpressible.

He was only there a moment, flying just outside my window and keeping pace with the truck, but I will never forget it. It was the greatest gift God has ever given me outside of my salvation. He was healthy and whole and looked like he would have if he had never had the transplant! That's why I know the experience was real.

Just the memory of seeing him lifts my spirits! Tonight I will rejoice!

Quote of the Year

"Sin is the suicidal action of the self against itself." Tim Keller