Well, I turned 50 today. FIFTY! I can't believe I'm actually as old as it seems like my parents aught to be, and I can't believe I got here so quickly. I think I might have skipped a decade somewhere along the way, but when I look back, they all appear to be present and accounted for. It's a mystery...
My husband says he can't believe he is sleeping with a fifty year-old woman and, quite frankly, neither can I.
It's been an interesting ride, and like all of you and everyone who has ever lived, no doubt, it has been filled with unexpected delights, unexpected heartache, thrills, chills, spills and a hint of Vaudeville.
In it all and through it all, whether I knew it or acknowledged it at the time or not, there was one constant. God was there. Not one moment of my life, not one thought in my mind, not one attitude of my heart, not one desire or ambition or need or hurt or longing or anything about me escaped His omniscient awareness. Not one!
There is a Scripture the Lord has brought repeatedly to my mind today through various means. Because it has been brought to my attention over and over again, I am convinced He wants me to absorb it and meditate on it and understand it and embrace it and breath it and believe it in the very core of my being. It is Psalm 139:7-18 and it reads:
"Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Thy hand will lead me, and Thy right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night,' even the darkness is not dark to Thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to Thee.
"For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
"How precious are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand."
Wow! And the best part is, it's all true! The great God of all creation, the maker of heaven and earth, the immortal, invisible, incomprehensible, eternal One loves me with an everlasting love! It will probably take all of eternity for me to properly absorb it, it's so unbelievable!
I marvel with David, shake my head in disbelief, when he asks in Psalm 8:4, "What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him? And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?"
And yet God declares over and over again in a hundred different ways that we are, "the apple of His eye." Amazing. Beautiful. Incomprehensible. Healing.
There is more on my heart. Much more. There always is! But I think that will be all for this particular therapy session. 'Till next time.....