Micah 6:8

I did an interview with channel 8 yesterday morning to help promote the book signing at Mardel tomorrow and as I was leaving the station I called my publicist to tell him how well I thought it went. I had a blast, said everything I wanted to say and was very excited about it all.

I was in the right hand lane on I-44 with a semi to my left just barely ahead of me. A car came barreling up behind the truck and then pulled into my lane nearly clipping my bumper. So I start talking to the driver of the reckless car (who couldn't hear me) into my phone to Kerry (who could). "Oh, well, excuse me! I guess I'm in your way. After all, I'm sure your time is much more valuable than mine!" To which Kerry chimed in just kidding along, "Yeah, don't you know who I am?" I know he was just kidding, but my blood went cold. I don't ever want to think anything like that for even a nano-second. After all, what sin does God hate more than pride? Oh, that's right--THERE ISN'T ONE!

So whether I am on a merry-go-round or a rocket ship with these books, I am nothing more than a privileged servant. I don't ever want the Lord to let me forget that. And if I ever do, I hope He slaps me so hard my head spins around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

This is all God's doing. It was His idea, they are His books and it's His ministry. My only job is to be a Micah 6:8 woman and "Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God." May He always grant me the grace to do exactly that.

It's a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life!

The oldest of all my nieces and nephews is getting married tonight and I am finding it to be surprisingly bittersweet. Jordan was the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family and, at 27 if he had lived, would surely be married by now.

I have never known a kid to talk about what kind of girl he would marry and how many children they would have as much as Jordan did. From the time he was two it was on his mind and in his thoughts and conversations. Seriously.

I am thrilled for Josh and Ashely and wish them all the best. I am surprised and a bit miffed by my melancholy. I don't often think about what Jordan missed out on in this life, because I know he is enjoying a glorious one heaven and wouldn't come back if he could.

But life is for the living and since I am still listed among them, I am sad for what he missed out on and, as a result, the rest of us have missed out on as well.

When these moments come, I make myself think back to the night he died, when the Lord allowed me to see his spirit outside of the truck window on the drive back from picking up Jacob in Norman.

Oh, I have never witnessed such joy in all my life! It doesn't exist in this realm. It radiated from within him, along with the golden, iridescent Shiknah glory of God! He was so incredibly happy! Thrilled. Ecstatic. Joy inexpressible.

He was only there a moment, flying just outside my window and keeping pace with the truck, but I will never forget it. It was the greatest gift God has ever given me outside of my salvation. He was healthy and whole and looked like he would have if he had never had the transplant! That's why I know the experience was real.

Just the memory of seeing him lifts my spirits! Tonight I will rejoice!

Quote of the Year

"Sin is the suicidal action of the self against itself." Tim Keller

Nothin' but the Best!

I have this beautiful, expensive, blonde Guild guitar I bought over 30 years ago, the sight of which makes grown men weak in the knees. Grown guitar-playing men, that is. It's a real beauty. When I bought it, it was almost white, with slight yellowish undertones. But it has aged better than most people and has taken on the rich golden hue of pure Tupelo honey.
I was getting ready to play it the other day and couldn't get it tuned. I knew it probably needed new strings, and while I usually buy them and put them on myself, I decided to just go to the local music store and give them an opportunity to prove their customer service side.
I bought the Martin Marquis Light Gauge and asked the hippie behind the counter if I could get him to put them on for me. I pulled my guitar out of its case and he gasped. I am not making this up. He got wide-eyed and looked like he was about to wet his pants. Then he sort of gave this long moan and said, "That's a beautiful guitar you have there." I already knew that, so now that made two of us. His comment drew the other two employees over and while he replaced the strings, the other two oohed and ahhed and one of them whipped out some wood polish and began to polish and caress it while whispering sweet nothings in its ear.
They took turns playing it, commented on its deep, resonate sound, the still perfect action (that's guitar speak for how far the strings come away from the frets--less is better) the requisite scratches from a aggressive strumming, etc.
They asked if my husband would mind if I came back every now and then to visit my three new boyfriends. It was all loads of fun.
But the truth is, I am NOT a musician. I play because of sheer tenacity. I like to sing and have practiced enough that I can carry a tune while I strum along. But make no mistake. I am NOT a musician. Even after all these years, I play like a dyslexic third-grader trying to read. If I was going to guitar school I would still be in Kindergarten. Seriously.
G-C-D-Am is about the extent of my ability. I can't play a bar chord to save my life. Twice I have attempted lessons but have quit because I don't have the time to practice like I should. I was embarrassed to own such a beautiful instrument and play it so poorly.
But then I started thinking. That guitar is a perfect example of the kind of gifts God gives to His children. Be they physical, spiritual, practical or any other variety, God is extravagant in His giving and gives us more than we deserve, more than we can absorb, more than we can handle, more than we can give thanks for.
Think about it for a minute. Salvation is an extravagant gift, heaven will be an extravagant place, He has given us extravagant talents, callings, authority and pleasures in life.
And all of a sudden, instead of being embarrassed, I was delighted that the Lord God Almighty had allowed me to be the owner of something that barely tapped into all He wants to give me! I'm not talking material things here. I am thinking of all the spiritual knowledge, growth in grace, intimacy with the Father and love for the people created in His image which has been poured out on me that I have barely tapped in to but is mine in ever increasing abundance.
I began praising God as I drove home! I thanked Him for my guitar and for all He wanted to pour from His hands to me.
So now, instead of feeling guilty for owning it or proud for having it, every time I see it propped up in its place or pick it up to play it, it is a reminder of God's extravagant love. May you see it for yourself in whatever means God uses in your life!

Book Lust

On of the nice things about having a husband who works for an airline is that I can fly free. The down side is that I have to fly stand-b y and only get a seat if there is one available. It usually works out, but to ensure a greater degree of success, I almost always try for the first flight out of Tulsa to Dallas at 6:00 am.

Which means, like it did this past Wednesday, that if I have something scheduled in the evening, I have lots of down time. This makes me very happy. Because it allows me hours of guilt free time to read!

I read two books in two days--one great one called, "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls, and one good one titled, "The Guinea Pig Diaries" by A.J. Jacobs. I feel ahead of the game in regard to my self-imposed but extremely strict rule to read at least a book a week.

The first one was so good I finished it in a matter of hours. We were rain delayed getting out of Atlanta on the return trip, and I found myself in a quandary. I usually carry a smorgasbord of books to choose from so that, depending on my mood, I will have on hand just what I am looking for at the moment.

However, I just started carrying my laptop computer with me when I travel--primarily because I now have a laptop computer to take with me when I travel. But it takes up precious real estate in my carry on bag and significantly decreases my book space.

So on this last trip, I only took one book, foolishly thinking it would keep me fully occupied for both days of the trip. What I hadn't counted on was the "can't put it down" factor of Walls' brilliant memoir, and all the down time caused by weather delays on the return trip.

So there I was, stuck in the Atlanta airport, jacked up on Starbuck's coffee, with the whole day ahead of me and nothing to read. This was a much bigger inconvenience than delays. In fact, it was close to a catastrophe.

I wandered into the nearest airport book store and scoured the shelves, instantly dismissing anything with the word "novel" on the cover and severely limiting my choices. But that's okay. Americans have too many options on everything from toothpaste to salad dressing anyway. And I am purely a non-fiction aficionado.

I looked through several titles including Jeannette Walls' second book, "Half Broke Horses" and "Accidental Billionaires" about the two former friends who started Face Book which I'd read a favorable review about.

Having just finished the emotionally draining, "The Glass Castle," and knowing the brain expanding book, "Satan and the Problem of Evil" that was waiting for me at home, I decided I needed a little mental levity. So I finally decided on "The Guinea Pig Diaries" and headed to the check out counter when I decided to glance at the price tag. Instantly there was a problem. The book was $25.

I can't tell you the last time I spent $25 on a single book, but I can assure you it's been a while--ever since I discovered half.com, where it more than lives up to its name, so the price seemed a bit steep, to say the least.

I stood there for quite some time weighing it out in my mind. $25 for a book I could get for half that or less if I waited, or hours of boredom listening to talking heads on the television monitors or watching countless people talk too loud on their cell phones in public places. I'm surprised it took as long as it did because, naturally, the book won out.

I justified it to my inner self by convincing that inner self I would return it to Barnes and Noble in Tulsa and buy three books that were on sale with the store credit I'd receive.

This was merely a lie I told myself to justify my decision to buy the book. I know very well that once I read a book it becomes my life-long friend and I can't bear to part with it.

Whenever Jay and I get into an argument about all the stuff he collects and all the junk he can't seem to part with that needs to GO with a capital G (in my humble opinion) all he has to say is, "If you want to get rid of stuff so badly, let's just get rid of some of your books!" It shuts me up every time.

It's impossible to explain to a non-reader the power of a good book, so I don't even try.

I can't say I'd highly recommend A.J Jacob's book, though I thoroughly enjoyed his first book "The Know-It-All" about his quest to read through the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. But I would highly recommend Walls' bittersweet memoir of triumphing over incomprehensible circumstances.

I'll even loan it to you so you won't have to buy it!

Taking Orders!

It's been awhile, eh? So much for regular posting. I did exactly what I knew I would do which is probably why I did it....
But in my own defense, I have been pretty busy. Got Jacob off to Nashville and Jessie off to the University of Hertfordshire just outside of London.
We flew to Dallas together last Friday and she left for her grand adventure while I flew to Asheville, NC to drive to Staunton, VA with my cousin Bob and his wife for my cousin Susie's 60th birthday bash.
It was incredible! The Christmas tree farm where she and her boyfriend Bill live is absolutely idyllic. It was like walking into a "Country Living" magazine. Everything was picture perfect with lots of family and friends gathering for barbecue and croquet.
Later we all sat under a giant tree with tiny white Christmas lights strung through it and listened to Robin and Linda Williams of "A Prairie Home Companion" fame entertain us with endless songs that make for swaying, foot tapping and smiles.
My cousin Bob joined in with his congo drum and someone else played their cello. Honestly, the only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been having my family there with me. But Jay had to work, Jacob couldn't get away and Jessie was flying over the ocean.
Aside from all that, I have been very busy with the edits to the book and trying to make sure the two audio recordings and seven coloring pages will be available on the web site by the time the book is released.
We (we being the folks in Mobile) are also in the process of completely revamping my web site to include the downloadable audios, as well as the coloring pages. They are putting in a shopping cart so folks can order the book directly from the site if they don't feel like making a trip to the book store, though they will be available there as well.
Which brings me to the purpose of this post. If any of you faithful readers would like to preorder a copy of "The Rhyme & Reason Series: Genesis" you can let me know and I will add you to the growing list.
The books will retail for $15.99 which, after tax, will come to a grand total of $17.35. Let me know how many you want and I will make sure to reserve a copy for you and get it to you as well. For those of you who are out of state, I'm not sure yet what the ship- ping will be, but I will let you know just as soon as I do, or you are welcome to order directly from the website. The address is the same one: www.catherinezoller.com.
The journey continues and every day is more exciting than the previous one! I thank each of you for your prayers and encouragement, your belief in me and in this project, and your confidence that God would indeed finish what He had begun!
I trust that you will share this series with your friends and they with theirs and together we will watch God accomplish His great purposes for His kingdom and glory!

The Circle of Life

Jacob left yesterday for Nashville, Tennessee, to live the next chapter in this adventure called life. He rented a U-Haul and loaded up all his earthly possessions, 85% of which were books. Another 12% was clothes and the last 3% was a blender, a George Foreman grill, a laundry basket and a few sundry items for establishing a household. He will certainly need more.
He will be there for two years working with RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) as, essentially, a missionary to a college campus. The fact that he is going to Belmont, which is a Christian university, should scream something about the state of Christ- ianity in America, but I will save that for another post.
There is a distinct melancholy that is drifting around my heart and threatening to settle there. But I won't let it. It has been so won- derful having him use our home as his "base" for the last 15 months since graduating from OU. From here he traveled the world and went on incredible adventures in between waiting tables at a local upscale restaurant.
Which is one of the things that makes this so hard. I got used to having him around again! And now I am going to have to get used to him being gone. And not just to Norman this time, but to Nashville, which the last time I checked my atlas, is not exactly next door. He won't be popping in for Sunday dinner!
I must say, I am incredibly thankful to the Lord for how short the season was where Jacob was caught up in severe legalism and wouldn't speak to me. It nearly broke my heart.
But I have always said God redeems everything, and He redeemed that very difficult six months by allowing him to live here for the past 15 while he got ready for the internship.
We have had so many wonderful conversations and arguments (in the truest sense of the word, not the angry sense) about the theology and doctrines of Scripture. It fed something in me for which I am deeply thirsty and I will miss that most of all.
We have encouraged one another as we were both needing God to provide financially for our needs. His need was for the internship and mine is to increase the book order. Seeing him receive his provision has bolstered me to stand in faith for mine.
So I am sad. But only for myself. Not for him. It is as it should be. This, after all, was the goal all along! To raise productive members of society and children who love and serve the Lord. By some mysterious miracle of God's grace, we have done that. I always said my job as a mother was to work myself out of a job. Mission accomplished.
After all, if he were 35 years old, still living at home, still waiting tables, and had three children by three different women, with me doing his laundry and paying for car repairs and who knows what else this would be an entirely different blog entry! (My dad used to say, "You can come back, but you can't breed and come back.")
So we are finished for the most part with the task God gave us. Still, make no mistake that that doesn't mean the satisfaction isn't tinged with some sadness.
It won't last long. He will call. We will e-mail. I'll write. He will come home to visit even though he will likely never live under our roof again. He will meet a woman and marry and add another to the puzzle pieces of our family, and even more pieces when he has children.
I'll be busy and distracted with the books.
So mostly I am thrilled for the call of God on his life, for his obedience to it and excitement in it. I am curious how this chapter is going to influence the next one and so on.
He will be home this Thanksgiving for his cousin's wedding and again for Christmas, I hope. We have Jay's flight benefits so I can see him when our schedules allow. I know all of that. It's not goodbye for the rest of this life like it was with Jordan.
But still. It's going to be different from now on. And the way life usually works is once I get used to that change, it will be different again!
Thankfully these melancholy spells don't last long. And always, God is good.