Catherine Zoller

"Joy to the World" The Lord DID Come!

2011-12-24T06:50:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who has a friend who is dying. She prayed to be healed, but instead, the Lord gave her a vision of a small, shallow, babbling brook and told her, "Dying is easier than crossing that stream." I can't shake the beauty and comfort of that thought.

When my Uncle Ned was dying, his son Bob asked him what it felt like to know he was going to die. He said he felt like a little boy getting on a bus that would take him to his grandmother's house. He had to ride the bus by himself, and that was a bit scary, but he knew that when he arrived at his destination, he would be sitting in his grandmother's kitchen eating chocolate chip cookies, and she made the best chocolate chip cookies in the world!

One of the greatest gifts the Lord gave me was an easy death for Jordan. Rather than eventually suffocating from the effects of bronciolitis obliterans, he simply never woke up after emergency surgery and instead of seeing our faces, he saw the Lord's!

It might seem odd to be writing about death on Christmas Eve, when most of us are preparing to celebrate a very significant birth. But unlike the rest of us who are born, that birth was all about a death. And that death would not be easy. It would be bloody and agonizing. It would be vile and painful--and it would be for all of us.

It would, for the first time in all eternity past and all eternity future, rip the Godhead apart and stagger the universe in an unprecedented display of atoning grace.

But that death would not be permanent. The power of God Himself would raise His Son Jesus from its cold grip and in that triumphant victory, overcome our final enemy on our behalf. At last, salvation had come to mankind!

At Christmas we celebrate the most significant of births. At Easter, we celebrate Christ's glorious resurrection. In between those two events are His life and His death. And for me, none of it can be separated. For without His birth, there would no substitutionary Life, and without His death there would be no resurrection.

I pray the significance of all that God has done on your behalf would resonate in your soul this Christmas and manifest itself in heart-felt worship to the King.

Home Away From Home

2011-07-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

I went to get my nails done today, a fact that irritates my husband just as much as it delights my publicist who insists, "If you're going to sign books, your hands need to look as professional as the rest of you."

I went to the same place I always go, a shop just up the street from my house, owned, like most nail salons it seems, by a Vietnamese couple. Usually the wife does my nails but today her husband Tran had the honor.

After the requisite discussion about the relentless heat, he asked about my children, so after answering him, I returned the favor and asked about his. They have two, a son and daughter, both students at OU. I asked if they had been born in this country, and he said, "No Vietnam. But we left when the youngest was two." That was eighteen years ago.

I asked if they had been back since, and he said told me they'd only been back once because it is so expensive. I asked if he missed it and he replied with a most emphatic, emotional, "Oh yes! It's home."

It hit me hard. He has been in this country eighteen years. His children have no memories of their birth country, yet he has chosen to make a home away from his true home.

Immediately the verse in Hebrews 11:9-10 came to mind where it speaks of Abraham and says, "By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, dwelling in tents...for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God."

And like Tran, we Christians also are making a home on earth away from our true home which is heaven. We live here. We build our lives here. But our true home, and the one we long for even more than Tran longs for Vietnam, is with our Father and Brother.

May our hearts yearn for that home, even as we go about living the gift that life is, and using that life to do things that will glorify God and last for eternity.

See you at the reunion.

Grace Revealed

2011-06-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

I had an e-mail exchange with someone who had seen me on one of the Florida television interviews I did recently to promote "Matthew" the second book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series." It's been out for almost a year now, but I am just now doing a belated publicity tour. Anyway, it's always a thrill when someone contacts me through the website information that's posted on the screen.

This particular woman is a few years older than me and still feeling like she hasn't fulfilled her purpose in life. She was lamenting a lifetime of mistakes. Here, in part, is my response:

As far as making a lifetime of mistakes goes, I think you are standing in a very long line! In fact, I don't know a single honest human being who isn't standing in that line. It's why we all need a Savior!

I used to struggle with feeling like God would somehow be disappointed with me as well, but more and more I am convinced that nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me any less, and nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me any more.

The One who created us adores us with a passion and zeal we cannot fathom. We human beings are trained in conditional love, so unless we have been extremely fortunate to have had someone demonstrate it to us, we have no real frame of reference for what true unconditional love acts and feels like.

I had a grandmother who adored me and spent almost every summer of my young life trying to help me improve my school work. She was a Special-Ed teacher and I would go over to her house every day and work through workbooks of all the subjects I struggled with, which was most of them.

She never scolded me for my mistakes. I never felt her frustration as I did mine when I failed to grasp a concept we had gone over and over. She never made me feel stupid. She always gently encouraged me. It felt so reassuring to have her sitting next to me as I labored over my work.

Every year she would have me pick out something I really wanted and put it in the chair across the table from where I sat to encourage me to reach the goal. If, at the end of the summer, I had successfully completed all the workbooks--you know--earned it, she would proudly hand me the gift I had picked out.

The only one I really remember was the Chatty Cathy doll. Oh, I wanted it so badly! It was almost torture to have her sitting across from me in her box, just waiting for me to get all my work done so I could break her out of her cardboard prison and pull the string that would magically let her "talk."

I didn't get all the assignments completed that year. Math, particularly, was and still is a torment. I was crushed. My little heart was so sad. Worst of all, I felt like I had disappointed my grandmother who had invested so much time in helping me. I knew she really wanted me to be able to earn my prize.

So on that last day of summer, I was feeling very dejected. She went over to the chair and picked up the doll to put it away. Or so I thought. Instead she got down on her knees and handed her to me. She said something along the lines that even though I hadn't completely finished the workbooks I had worked very hard and had learned. She told me how proud she was of me and then she told me the doll was mine. That it had always been mine, since the first day of summer.

That's how I think the love of God is. Everything He has for us is ours already. We don't earn it, because we can't, no matter how hard we might try. It's a futile effort. It's ours because He chooses to give it to us. Everything we have is a grace gift from the One who longs to give us Himself most of all.

My Redemption is Revealed!

2011-05-11T14:05:00.000-07:00

My daughter Jessie graduates from college this coming Saturday. She is a fifth year senior because she studied abroad last year and it set her back a bit. But she would be the first to tell you it was a grand experience and well worth having to "redshirt" in order to graduate.

For those of you who might not know, she is the youngest of my three children, my only girl, and the overachiever of the family. She is the one who made up her mind in the 8th grade that she was going to be the valedictorian of her high school class--and she was. She is the one who decided to study abroad, made all the arrangements herself--and did. She is the one who looked for and found scholarships--and got them. The one who applied for a grant to try and find ways to make baked goods healthier--and got it.

None of this is new. She is also the child who announced to me that she wasn't going to have any part of the same half day Kindergarden program her brothers had been in. She wanted to stay all day and eat lunch and take naps with her friends, thank you very much. It was more money, but I wan't about to argue with her!

She is the one who, when she was about six or seven, was quite upset that she could not flip her omelette. This meant, of course, that unbeknownst to me, she had turned on the stove, gotten the omelette pan out, cracked and beaten the eggs, grated the cheese and sprinkled it over the eggs. But she wasn't quite tall enough to reach over with the spatula and get it flipped. Which is pretty much what I did when I walked into the kitchen and saw what she was doing!

So it comes as no surprise to those who know her that she will graduate with honors and has already been admitted into graduate school where she will receive dual Master's Degrees. Who knew you could get two at a time?

However, the reason I am telling you all of this is not only to brag on her, though as you can see, I am quite happy to do just that! It is to show you the redemption of the Lord in my life.

You see, I was a horrible student from Kindergarden through my dubious college experience. After the first week of Kindergarden I couldn't figure out why they kept sending me back every week. I hated everything about school, and that attitude never really changed. By ninth grade I had all but stopped showing up for class. At the end of the year, I had five Fs and a D. I have no idea how I got the D. The only reason I made it into 10th grade is because I changed school districts after my parents severed their parental rights and put me in The Sunbeam Home.

I actually managed to graduate, and after three years in Youth With a Mission, I went back to college for two and a half years before I got married and started having kids.

Jordan, my oldest, had a difficult time in school as well, but he had ongoing health issues and that probably contributed to a lot of it. He simply felt bad most of the time.

For high school he went to a small home school co-op. There were just five kids in the graduating class and that year, and after he graduated we went to Boston for our family vacation and toured the Harvard campus. As we were leaving, I put my arm around him and said, "Son, from now on you can tell everyone you know you graduated 5th in your class and went to Harvard! If they ask you any questions, just hold your hand up and say modestly, 'No, really, enough about me...'"

Anyway, Jacob and Jessie always did very well in school. For Jacob it just came easily. He graduated from OU magna cum laude two years ago and is going to seminary to get his Masters of Divinity degree. Jessie, on the other hand, worked very hard. I have never known anyone--man, woman or child--as disciplined and determined as her. She amazes me.

But here's the redemptive part. I have always deeply regretted squandering the educational opportunities that were handed to me on a silver platter. I had carte blanche--opportunities most people only dream about--and I blew them all.

Yet the God who is capable of redeeming everything, has redeemed that regret in my life through two of my children. What I squandered, they took advantage of. What I wasted, they utilized. What I missed out on, they have enjoyed. Where I failed, they have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations!

That's just how God does things.

I don't usually ask questions of my readers, but it's my blog so I can do whatever I want! And my question to you today is, "What is it that you need God to redeem in your life? What regret do you want to give Him and allow Him to bring to a satisfactory conclusion? It may take time, but He can do it.

Truly, there is nothing too hard for the Lord. And He delights even more than we do in being able to take our failures and redeem them--even if He does it through our children.

Easter 2011

2011-04-23T17:11:00.000-07:00

A woman in my Bible study sent me a link with the lyrics to a song about loss--and the loss of a child particularly--that really moved my heart. What follows is my response to her and the other women in our core group.

The Lord was a very present and inexpressible comfort to me when Jordan died. There have only been a few times when I have felt so tenderly held and loved and cared for by Him as I did in those first dark and incomprehensible days of the deepest bereavement a heart can endure.

There were many times during Jordan's life and illness when his friends would ask him if he ever wondered, "Why me?" And he always said, "No, never! The question is 'Why not me?'"

We live in a fallen world. There is, thank God, great joy to be found, but there is also incredibly deep heartache and pain. He seemed to understand that and not question it or blame God.

From the time he was 2 (I am NOT making this up!) Jordan wanted nothing more than to be married and have a house full of children! He talked about it all the time--his whole life. He never got to do either. (One of my most treasured conversations with him took place after his doctor told him he probably only had another year or two to live. On the way back home, I put my hand on his leg and asked him how he was feeling about what the doc had said. I will never forget his plaintive response. "Mom, I just don't want to die a virgin!" But he did.)

Yet I know that if God promised him a beautiful wife and the best 5 kids who ever lived, he would not consider leaving the glories of heaven for this old world for even a nanosecond! I find tremendous comfort in that realization.

It was eleven years ago Easter weekend when he and I came home after a four month stay in St. Louis to a triumphant reception after his very successful heart/lung transplant. It was such a high point! He was the poster child for rebounding beyond anyones expectation, especially considering how close to death he had been going in. It was such a miracle, we thought for sure he would live a very long time and realize his dream to marry and have children.

And yet...it was not to be so.

But here is what I know: God's wisdom surpasses our feeble understanding. His grace is ever-present. Truly, His mercy endures forever! Our job, like our friend Joseph, whose life has resonated so deeply with us during our study this year, is to simply rest in His comfort, trust in His wisdom and believe in His promises with unflinching conviction. Eventually, it will all be crystal clear and we will marvel at all God has wrought.

And so we stand. With faith, with hope, with assurance. And hopefully the world takes notice.

I pray a blessed and happy and hopeful Easter for each of you!

Spirit Versus Flesh

2011-04-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

I had a 9:00 phone appointment with my publicist, Kerry, yesterday to finalize my one-sheet. A one-sheet, for those of you who might not know, is a promotional piece for speakers. And there is a real art to them. It's like putting together a puzzle. The idea is to create visual impact and show who you are and what you speak about as concisely and with as much interest as possible. So it's actually like putting together a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle and still making a picture with just nine pieces! Or so it seems to me...

As the name implies, it is printed on a standard sheet of paper, but it is essential that the layout and design elements grab the eye and hold the reader's attention long enough for them to actually read it. So we had to work out the layout, colors, text, a picture, the book covers and logo all without making the page too much of a cluttered mess, and while expressing who I am as a speaker, yet also showcasing the books. It's not nearly as easy as it might appear to be on the surface.

So anyway, when I woke up, I greeted the Lord as I always do by telling Him good morning and thanking Him for another day. As I walked into the kitchen for my morning cup of joe, the Lord said, "I wish you would ask Me to help you with your one-sheet."

Now that might seem a bit odd to you, but I hope not, because God is intensely interested in every detail of our lives. It didn't seem odd to me at all. In fact, I was a bit embarrassed that He had to ask, but I laughed out loud and said, "Oh, Lord! Of course I want You to help me with the one-sheet! Why, You are the most creative Being of all--You thought of and created everything we can and can't see! Please help us to make it as perfect as it can be."

And He did! Once we had all the pieces in place and I saw the finished product, I knew we had hit a bulls-eye. I sent it to four strategic people for feedback and all of them loved it. One suggested we spell Scripture correctly, but that was it! Would that have been an embarrassing typo, or what?

That's all well and good, but it's not the end of the story. I had been thanking God all day for His help because I was so delighted with the results. But while I was doing one of the miserable sweat baths my ND is having me do, I began thanking Him all over again.

And then it hit me. God didn't want to help me because He felt left out or had nothing else to do, or even because He loves me and is interested in every detail of my life. He wanted to help me so that His fingerprints would be all over it and His Spirit could go with it to accomplish the goals He intends it to accomplish.

That which is born or done in the flesh is flesh. But that which is done in or with the Spirit has all of the power of the Spirit behind it. He simply cannot bless or use the former, and He simply cannot not bless the things He instigates and is involved with. What a wonderful reminder this was to me as I lay in the tub boiling my body.

It is also the difference between striving and resting. I realized I had been striving to build my speaking business in my own strength and asking God to bless my efforts! After the bathtub revelation, my attitude immediately changed. I don't have to strive or try to make it happen in my own strength. Now that God's fingerprints are all over it, all I have to do is send them where He leads me to send them, give them to whomever He leads me to give one to, and then rest in Him while He does the real work.

This is true no matter what we are doing. That is walking in the Spirit, and it is the only thing that allows Him to move for our good and His glory. And that is always our goal, isn't it?

Life's Like an Hour Glass Glued to the Table

2011-03-20T15:08:00.000-07:00

It seems odd to me that I have lived most of my life. I still think of myself as the mother of three young children. But one is buried, one is married, and one is getting ready to graduate from college. The younger two are hitting their mid-twenties even as I stare at my approaching mid-fifities and Jordan would be almost 30!

It's an old lament. As old as post flood mankind, I suppose. "How did I get here so quickly? Where have the years gone?" Yet when it is my mouth forming the words, they take on a new and surreal meaning.

It was my grandparents who were old. Not me. And then my parents. But not me. And now it is me! Okay, not yet old, but not young either.

Gone is the foolishness of the teenage years. Gone is the thrill and adventure of all the open ended possibilities of my twenties. Gone is the delight of childbearing and the challenges of child-rearing. Gone is the houseful of children with all their busyness, commotion and endless activities.

Some days I thought it would never end and now I can't believe it ended so quickly.

This momentary melancholy will pass, because I am one of the fortunate ones. I was able to stay home and raise those children. By His great and unsearchable grace, they all love and serve the Lord.

While there is much to look back on, there is much to look forward to as well! The delight of grand children. Finishing and promoting "The Rhyme and Reason Series" and watching all God has in mind to accomplish through it. Precious friendships, a strengthening marriage, the work of the Kingdom, mentoring younger women, and the list goes on.

And then, one day, "In the twinkling of an eye" it will all be over. Instead of "looking through the glass dimly" at eternity, it will be the other way around! I will look back with dim recollections of the life I am living at this very moment, yet everything done and accomplished in the name of Christ will remain. I don't know exactly how that works, but I know it's true, because God declares it in His Word, and His Word never fails.

So with whatever time I have left, I echo the words of Paul in Philippians 3:13-14, "I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the high call of God in Christ Jesus."

There is nothing more satisfying than a life well-lived for Christ and nothing worse than a life lived and gone in vain.

"What, me worry?"

2010-11-22T18:26:00.000-08:00

I was at my friend Gayle's house out in the country a few weeks ago when the weather was still warm. She does these incredible therapeutic massages and I'd taken a new friend out to experience her magic.

Gayle's husband Jimmy has made an oasis of flowers, paths, fountains and sitting areas out among the hills and scrub oaks and I decided to read a book and bask in the warmth of the sun while Patricia was getting her massage.

It was an absolutely perfect day by Oklahoma standards. Blue skies, mild temperature, no humidity and just the slightest breeze.

I wandered around for several minutes trying to decide which of the many spots would be the most aesthetically pleasing and finally picked a place just off the back deck where a symphony of flowers surrounded me and a tiny fountain gurgled in a cobalt blue container.

For the longest time I just basked in the warmth of the sun and marveled at all the different variety and colors of the plants and flowers that surrounded me. These are the things that always make me marvel at God's infinite creativity and the incredible beauty and complexity of the world we live in.

I finally decided to read my book, but within a few short minutes I became aware of a very strange sort of munching sound. It was faint but audible and one of the frustrating things about my ADD is that I can't filter out sounds like most people can. I hear everything.

So I started looking around to see what on earth was making this funny noise. And then I saw it. Just a few feet from me on the large, bright green leaf of a banana tree was a grasshopper munching away!

I was absolutely mesmerized for reasons I can't possibly explain. But I sat there for at least 30 minutes and listened to that grasshopper until it had chewed a golf ball sized hole in the leaf.

I was stunned by its detailed and vibrant markings. On both sides of its body were long yellow triangles outlined in black which created a vivid contrast on its bright green body. I could see its tiny, beedy eyes and the spurs on its legs.

I marveled as I thought about how beautiful it was. As I considered that those teeny, tiny eyes could actually see and that it had a tiny digestive system that would process the leaf it was eating into everything it needed to sustain its life.

Then I glanced down and to my left and saw a dozen more, just as elaborately dressed, sunning themselves on a rock. Apparently they had already eaten!

All I could think about was the goodness of God and His faithful provision. It made me think of Jesus' wise discourse in the Sermon on the Mount where He says in Matthew 6:25-29, which I feel compelled to quote in its entirety:

"For this reason I say to you, do not be anxious for your life, as to what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor for your body as to what you should put on. Is not life more than food and the body than clothing?

"Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?

"And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life's span?

"And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these."

I kept thinking about that verse as I was looking at how beautifully God had "clothed" that silly grasshopper, and how He had given it an instinct to know exactly what to eat and how much. (Side note: Have you ever noticed you never see fat insects, fish or animals? Interesting isn't it, that only we humans overindulge!)

I really can't explain why this little creature intrigued me so much! Maybe it was because it made me realize the truth of the verses I just quoted.

If God takes care of a few grasshoppers in Manford, Oklahoma, and makes sure they eat and sun and hang out with other grasshoppers, what could I, as one among the crowning glory of His creation, created in His own image and likeness, possibly have to worry about?

The answer seems ridiculously obvious.

Nothing, nada, null.

Zippo, zilch, zero.

Not one thing.

Not one.

Is God's Last Name Fibonacci?

2010-11-21T17:31:00.001-08:00

I was talking with my friend Nancy last night and her friend Becky at an open house for a mutual friend who is starting a fab new couture coat business.

Turns out Becky is a pretty impressive woman and an interior designer to boot. I told her it's what I had really wanted to study when I finally went to college, but I had just come from three years with Youth With A Mission and knew I had a calling to be a missionary to countries behind the Iron Curtain. Russia, specifically.

My plan was to get my degree (Though I had never done well in school, my sweet father still had delusions of grandeur that I would somehow magically transform into a student--some dreams die hard.) and go back to the mission field.

To that end, I decided to get a degree in International Relations. I lasted one entire, agonizing semester until I realized that particular degree track required a bunch of boring political science classes. So I quickly scrapped that plan and decided to pursue a degree in French. Turns out that even though I had beautiful pronunciation, thanks to those early years in parochial school, I had no real aptitude for learning a foreign language.

So once again I changed my major to something I could use on the mission field. I decided to focus on philosophy and religion.

Deep sigh.

Let's just say it wasn't exactly the seminary experience I had envisioned. The philosophy classes were clinics on Humanism and the religion classes were apparently taught by the professors who had graduated with a degree in Philosophy.

The only thing I remember from it all is how difficult--nigh, almost impossible--it is to have a conversation without ever once using the word "I".

So reluctantly, and filled with the frivolousness of my choice, I moved on to my first love. Beauty, design, aesthetics.

If I'd had the courage to truly listen to my heart, I would have gleefully enrolled in the Interior Design program.

But I still had the notion I was going to go back to the mission field, and I just couldn't imagine Russians who had to stand in line for three hours for a bag of potatoes calling me to discuss window treatments and wall colors that worked in all kinds of lighting.

So I decided to get a degree in Graphic Art instead. I figured I could somehow use that skill set to...do...something...

And then I got pregnant.

So I got married. Because it seemed like doing the "right" thing after doing the wrong thing would somehow balance things out.

I'm sure God was impressed, but that will have to be an entirely different blog entry.

After Jordan was born I quit school altogether because it was too hard to juggle both our school schedules with the demands of a nursing baby and Jay's degree, since he would be supporting the family, seemed more important.

You are probably wondering what all of this has to do with my conversation with Nancy and Becky, so I'll tell you.

Turns out Becky had also had doubts about how relevant it was to decorate people's homes or offices. Surely there were more noble and important things she should be doing. Right?

But I don't think that way any more, and I'll tell you why.

Because of fibonacci.

Fibonacci, named after Leonardo Fibonacci, is the discovery of the design, order, beauty and symmetry in all of nature.

Fibonacci is the way God, the inventor of design, order, beauty and symmetry designed everything from honeycombs to pinecones to artichokes to fern leaves to sunflowers to the human body's cells to shells (The Nautilus being a famous case in point) to the spiral arms of certain galaxies to, well, you name it.

It's mathematical, it's precise and above all, it's beautiful. God created a beautiful universe full of beautiful things that reflect His infinite creativity, His love of beauty, His incredible sense of design, light, proportion and arrangement. Which makes Him the author and originator of interior design!

"The Fibonacci Sequence is most likely the most influential series of numbers in the world. This mathematical sequence (each being the sum of the two numbers before it) was discovered by Leonardo Fibonacci of Pisa in the early 13th century. In his Book of Calculations, he outlined the 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, etc., as the 'golden' numbers found in geometry, art, anatomy, music, biology, botany and conchology."

So my thinking, as I was trying to share with Nancy and Becky, is that if God delights in beauty and aesthetics, and if we are created in the image of God, how much pleasure must He get out of us using the gifts and talents He has given us and reflect His nature in everything we touch?After all, even with the chaos and destruction that resulted from the fall of mankind we still live on a beautiful earth.

Isn't that something? That even with the subsequent judgment and consequences upon the earth we can still find beauty almost everywhere we look?

To be sure, heaven will be a beautiful place. The restored earth will once again be as beautiful and perfect a reflection of its Creator as was originally intended.

So why wouldn't God want us to try to create and experience as much beauty as we possibly can? Personally, so long as these things don't become idols, I think He delights in every single reflection of His multi-faceted Self we emulate.

It's very gratifying to know I can celebrate Him by simply painting my walls a beautiful color, or by spending time in a room that gives me pleasure, much as the universe gives God pleasure.

I am giving myself permission to let God's expressions flow through me in any and every way they can.

Because I want to reflect Him.

And He is beautiful.

On Being Intentional

2010-10-04T14:21:00.000-07:00

I would like to share an excerpt with you from the book, "A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life" by William Law. It was first published in 1728, so the language is a bit archaic, but the power of his words has not diminished with time.

Penitens was a busy merchant and very prosperous, but died when he was only thirty-five. One evening just before his death, some of his friends came to see him, and he said to them:

"My friends, I can see the tender concern you have for me by the grief on your faces, and I know what you are thinking about me. You think how sad it is to see a young man who has a prospering business delivered up to death. And if I had visited any of you in my condition, perhaps I would have the same thoughts of you. But my thoughts are no more like your thoughts than my condition is like yours. It is no trouble to me now to think that I am to die young, and without having reached all of my goals in life. Such concerns have now sunk into such mere nothings that I have no name small enough to call them by. For if in a few days or hours, I will leave this body and find myself forever happy in the presence of God, or eternally separated from all light and peace. Considering the immensity of that, can any words sufficiently express the littleness of everything else?

"Is there any dream more foolish than the dream of life that amuses us and causes us to neglect and disregard these things? Is there any folly like the folly of a life that is too wise and busy to have time for these reflections? When we consider death and sorrow, we only think of it as the sorrow of separation from the enjoyment of this life. We seldom mourn over an old man who dies rich, but we mourn the young that are taken away in the progress of their fortune. You yourselves look upon me with pity, not because I am unprepared to meet the Judge of the living and the dead, but because I am leaving a prosperous trade in the flower of my life. This is the wisdom of our worldly thoughts. And yet what foolishness of the silliest children is as great as this? For what is there miserable or dreadful in death but the consequences of it? When a man is dead, is there anything important to him besides the state he is then in?

"Our poor friend Lepidus died as he was dressing for a party. Do you think that was part of the sorrow of his death, that he did not live until the party was over? Parties, business and pleasures seem great things to us while we have nothing else to be concerned about. But add death to them and they all sink into an equal littleness. And the soul that is separated from the body no more grieves over the loss of business than the loss of a party.

"If I am going now to the joys of God, could there be any reason to grieve that death happened to me before I was forty years of age? Could it be a sad thing to go to heaven before I made a few more bargains or stood a little longer behind the counter? And if I am to go among the lost spirits, could there be any reason to be content that this did not happen to me until I was old and full of riches? If holy angels were ready to receive my soul, could there be any grief to me that I was dying upon a poor bed in an attic? And if God has delivered me up to evil spirits to be dragged by them into places of torments, could it be any comfort to me that they found me on a bed of luxury?

"When you are as near death as I am, you will know that all the different states of life, whether of youth or age, riches or poverty, are no more important to you than whether you die in a poor house or a rich mansion. The greatness of those things that follow death makes all that precedes it sink into nothing. Now that judgment is the next thing that I look for, and everlasting happiness or misery has come so near me, all the enjoyments and prosperities of life seem insignificant. And they have no more to do with my happiness than the clothes I wore before I could speak.

"But why am I surprised that I have not always had these thoughts? What is in the terrors of death, the vanities of life, or the necessities of piety that I could not have easily and fully seen in any part of my life? How strange it is that life and business should keep us so senseless of these great things that are coming so rapidly upon us.

"Just as you came into my bedroom I was thinking of how many souls there are in the world that are in my condition at this very moment, surprised by God with a summons to the other world. They were occupied with all kinds of pleasures and business and all were seized at an hour that they did not expect. Now they are frightened at the approach of death; confounded at the futility of all their labors, designs, and projects; astonished at the foolishness of their past lives; and not knowing which way to turn their thoughts to find any comfort. All their sins condemn them and torment them with the deepest conviction of their own foolishness. Before they see nothing but the sight of the angry Judge, the worm that never dies, the fire that is never quenched, the gates of hell, the powers of darkness, and the bitter pains of eternal death.

"Oh, my friends, bless God that you are not of this number, that you have time and strength to occupy yourselves with those works of piety that will bring you peace at the end. Consider this as you live out your life; there is nothing but a life of great piety or a death of great fear. If I had a thousand worlds, I would give them all for one year more--one year in which I might give to God the kind of devotion and good works that I never thought of before. Now you might wonder why I am so full of remorse and self-condemnation at the approach of death when I have lived free from scandal and debauchery and in the communion of the church. But what a poor thing is it to have only lived free from murder, theft, and adultery, which is all that I can say of myself. You know that I have never been a drunkard. But many times you have witnessed my intemperance, sensuality, and great indulgence. If I am now going to a judgment where nothing will be rewarded but good works, I should well be concerned that though I am not a drunkard I have no Christian virtues to plead for me.

"It is true, I have lived in the communion of the church and have attended its worship and service on Sundays when I was not too tired or preoccupied with my business and pleasures. But my conformity to public worship has been a thing of habit rather than any real interest in doing what God requires of those who profess faith in Christ. Otherwise I would have been oftener at church, more devout when there, and more fearful of neglecting it.

"But the thing that surprises me above all wonders is that I never had the smallest intention of living up to the piety of the Gospel. Such a thing never entered into my head or my heart. I never once in my life considered whether I was living as the laws of religion directed, or whether my way of life was the kind that would procure me the mercy of God at this hour. And how can it be thought that I have kept the Gospel terms of salvation, when I never intended in any serious and deliberate manner to know them or keep them? Can it be thought that I have pleased God with such a life as He requires, though I have lived without ever considering what He requires? How cheap do you think salvation would be if it could fall into my careless hands, when I have never had any more serious thought about it than I have had about any common bargain I have made?

"In the business of life I have used prudence and reflection. I have done everything by rules and methods. I have been glad to converse with men of experience and judgment to find out the reasons why some fail and others succeed in business. I have always had my eye upon the main end of business, and have studied all the ways and means of gaining profit by all that I undertook. But what is the reason that I have brought none of these attributes to religion? I have often talked of the necessity of rules, methods, and diligence in worldly business, so why is it that I have never once thought of any rules, methods, or disciplines to carry me on in a life of piety?

"Would you think anything could astonish and confound a dying man like this? What pain do you think a man must feel when his conscience lays all his foolishness to his charge; when it shows him how regular, exact and wise he has been in trivial matters that are passed away like a dream, and how stupid and senseless he has lived in things of such eternal importance? Had I only my frailties and imperfections to grieve over at this time, I would lie here humbly trusting in the mercies of God. But how can I call a general disregard and thorough neglect of all religious improvement, a frailty or imperfection? It was as much in my power to have been exact, careful, and diligent in a course of piety as in the business of my trade. I cold have called in as many helps, have practiced as many rules, and been taught as many certain methods of holy living as I could have for increasing business in my shop, if I had so intended and desired it.

"Oh, my friends, a careless life, unconcerned and inattentive to the duties of religion is so without excuse, so unworthy of the mercy of God, such a shame to the sense and reason of our minds, that I can hardly conceive a greater punishment for a man than to be thrown into the state that I am in--unable to do anything but reflect upon the foolishness of his life."

Penitens continued speaking until his mouth was stopped by a convulsion, which never allowed him to speak again. He convulsed frequently for about twelve hours and then gave up his spirit.

Dear Ones, could there be any greater tragedy? Let us live our lives with intention. Loving and serving the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength so that our only thought upon death is the joy we will have in finally seeing His magnificent beauty and being forever surrounded by His infinite love.

Thoughts on Writing a Good Life Story

2010-10-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

I have recently been on a book signing tour at various Mardel bookstores to promote "Matthew" the second book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series." My last stop, before we begin the big holiday push, was to Houston.

I only sold three books that day, and two of those were to the woman who picked me up at the airport and sat at the table with me! Of the ten Mardel signings I have done, the longest one (3 hours) in the largest city (Houston), sold the least number of books by far so, on the surface, it should have been the most disappointing. But it wasn't. In fact, it was the most rewarding and I marvel anew every time I see God's hand directly at work in unmistakable ways and the delights He scatters along our paths.

As I was flying in that morning, and giving myself and the day to the Lord, I invited Him to accomplish His goals for the day. I just didn't realize until later that it would have nothing to do with book sales!

The only people I saw when I walked in the door were a woman customer and the clerk ringing up her purchases. Not wanting to interrupt, but needing to find where they put the book table, I rather timidly said hello to the clerk, told her who I was and asked where I was supposed to go. She got all excited, apologized for not recognizing me (?!) and made a comment about me flying in from Tulsa.

I also happened to look at the pile of books the customer was purchasing and saw a new Donald Miller book I didn't know was out. I asked her if she was a fan and she said she was, that this was a great book, it was on sale, she had already read it and was coming back to get more to give to her friends. As I turned to find where the clerk pointed out my table was, the customer told me she would show me where to find the book after she payed for her purchases.

A few minutes later she came up, pointed out the Donald Miller book and introduced me to her boyfriend who was also from Tulsa and had graduated from high school and college here. They were my first "customers" so I told them all about the series, showed them the books, told them the ministry tag line of, "Getting these books in people's hands so people's hands will pick up The Book!" and about the personalized CDs, etc.

The young man said he worked for Lakewood Church and he said it in such a way I could tell it was supposed to register with me. It didn't. I told him I wasn't from Houston but I was sure it was a great church, blah, blah, blah. He said, "It's Joel Osteen's church." THAT registered with me! So I gave him a book and asked him to show it to the folks at Lakewood who ran the children's ministry.

Then he said the most remarkable thing.

He told me how the two of them had prayed before beginning their day and how after they had said "Amen" he thought of one more stop he needed to make. Mardel. But time was short because of other commitments so they needed to hurry because it was out of the way of the rest of their errands. He also told me they had ever even been in that particular store before! I was thrilled to be able to put "Genesis" in their hands and have prayed several times since that the Lord will do all He has in mind to do with that connection.

They left and I began to look for other people to draw over to the table and talk with but it seemed the woman who had picked me up at the airport wanted (needed?) to talk. I was getting a bit anxious at first because giving her my undivided attention meant I couldn't engage the customers walking past the table! Finally, I was able to give up my agenda and follow the Lord's. I reminded myself that it wasn't just about book sales--it was about being where the Lord put me, doing what He wanted me to be doing in the very moment I was living. And God is always about people. It became a joy to be able to serve the Lord by listening to her.

I found out from her afterward that she is well-connected to several Bible studies and women's groups in the area so we will see what the Lord has in mind to do there as well.

But perhaps the best part of all was finding Donald Miller's new book. I sat down yesterday, in between the OU/Texas game and visiting the state fair, and read it from cover to cover. I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I will probably be buying more to give as gifts to my friends as well.

The book is about the efforts to turn his bestselling book, "Blue Like Jazz" into a movie and his discoveries in that process of what makes a good story. He began applying those principles to his real life and not just his movie life so that his real life would be a better story. As I read, I kept thinking about the story my life is "writing." I realized, as well as things seem to be going at this particular moment, that I can write a better story by making better and more intentional choices. By being "in the moment" as I recently learned from reading, "Abandonment to Divine Providence" by Jean-Pierre De Caussade, which I would also recommend to everyone I know.

We live in the moment not only by letting go of the regrets of the past and refusing to dwell on the anxiety of the future, but by being led of the Spirit and doing the next right thing in the very moment we are experiencing. Together, these two ideas: being in the moment and writing a better life story are having a profound effect on me.

Last night, as I lay in bed praying, I started thinking about ways I could begin to write a better story. I am going to try and express something here that has been bugging me and I haven't known what to do with. I hope you don't mind!

I can't tell you how many times in this past year someone, after having read the books and realizing the potential impact of "The Rhyme and Reason Series", has said to me, "I just know you are going to be famous!" Nor can I tell you how intensely uncomfortable this makes me. Because it's not about me being famous. In fact, it's not about me at all. We always give a pledge of allegiance to that notion, but it's true. It's about the Lord, His Kingdom and His eternal glory.

Like every kid in our pop-culture obsessed society, I used to want to be famous! I used to twirl and pirouette on my roller skates on my parents large driveway while singing into my hairbrush under the outside spotlighting on the house. This probably reads like a cliche, but it's true!

But I am 52 now. I have been a Christian for 36 years and have been married for 28 of those. I have raised three children and buried my oldest son six years ago this month. I seldom watch t.v. and haven't read a People magazine in years. I am mature enough and have lived long enough to know that the greatest treasures in this life are the ones we are storing up in heaven. As a result, the things of this world have less and less effect on my goals and desires and that continues to be the case as I seek to live my life in a way that will impact eternity.

Last night, as I was thinking about my story and praying, things became a bit more clear. I said, "Lord, I don't want to be famous, but I desperately want YOU to be famous!" And I really liked that thought. I liked the way it felt.

So I began thinking in a much more purposeful way about how the Lord might want to use the gifts and talents He has given me to make Him famous and I began to get too excited to sleep! I realized that a lot of the things I am already doing He will probably continue having me do. There is no doubt this series is from Him, by Him and for Him and I have always prayed, whether I am speaking to crowds or working to promote the books, that God would be glorified through it all.

But somehow, reframing it to think about my story making Him famous, gave things more clarity and focus than they have had before. Now my actions, submitted to Him and led by His Spirit, will be with that goal in crystal clear focus: Making the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the God of all creation, the One who has named all the stars, famous in all the earth so He can "draw all men unto [Himself]."

As Christians, we know that's what we are all supposed to be doing. But because the Lord ordered my footsteps on a day I had submitted to Him and had me find and read those two books, I feel better equipped to write a story that will more effectively glorify Him.

But I realized something else. God also has a story. His is a story of eternal existence, of bringing creation into being, of giving an eternal companion to His Son whom He loves, of watching that eternal companion rebel and break fellowship with Him, of sending His Son to redeem His companion so the original plan will still result in the original goal. I realized that we are part of God's story and He graciously includes us in all His plot twists. Even the ones of our own making.

It's an exhilarating thought--that we are part of God's story. A true story. Non-fiction. A story with all the elements that make an epic story. A story He will continue for all eternity.

Woops!

2010-06-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Wow! It's been so long since I blogged that I actually forgot I had a blog! I hope none of you have been holding your breath or you are probably a pretty shade of periwinkle blue by now.

Go ahead and exhale.

Great things are happening and I guess I will write it out for those of you who didn't hear me shouting from my housetop yesterday!

The shipping orders for "The Rhyme and Reason Series: Matthew" were being put together yesterday and I should be receiving my copies sometime next week. They are arriving just in time for the Christian Bookseller's Association Convention in St. Louis the last three days of June. I am extremely excited! Kerry, my publicist extraordinaire, has set up three book signings and several interviews while we are there. This all makes for huge potential to help spread the work about the series. I have heard about CBA for years now and am excited to be finally going and looking forward to the experience.

Kerry also managed to get a book signing scheduled at the Tulsa Mardel at 71st and Mingo for Saturday, July 31st and at Full Circle Books on Saturday, July 24th. Both the "Tulsa World" and the "Oklahoman" have agreed to run follow-up articles and announce the signings. I will also be doing a television interview on KTUL Channel 8 on Friday, July 30th around 9:00 am or so. A lot of people are doing a lot of things to help promote this series and I am in awe of all God is orchestrating. I am pretty sure I have my own personal legion of angels assigned to this project!

We also have new personalized CDs of "Genesis" available where the child hears their name being read over 40 times as they are listening to the CD and following along in the book! For example, they would hear, "Emma, this is the true story of how it all began..." and so on throughout the entire book. They are selling like crazy! We also have free downloadable coloring pages and word games available on the website. The thought was to create tools for Sunday School teachers, children's ministers, parents and grandparents or whomever, to have tools available to help them utilize the books to greater effect. Because the goal is still, "Getting these books in people's hands so people's hands pick up The Book!" To that end, we are doing all we can.

And here's why: "The Word of God is living and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword." It changes lives and it changes where people spend eternity. There is no greater job than to partner with the Lord to populate heaven and decimate hell.

To that end, we labor until He comes again on clouds of glory!

Micah 6:8

2010-01-08T19:01:00.000-08:00

I did an interview with channel 8 yesterday morning to help promote the book signing at Mardel tomorrow and as I was leaving the station I called my publicist to tell him how well I thought it went. I had a blast, said everything I wanted to say and was very excited about it all.

I was in the right hand lane on I-44 with a semi to my left just barely ahead of me. A car came barreling up behind the truck and then pulled into my lane nearly clipping my bumper. So I start talking to the driver of the reckless car (who couldn't hear me) into my phone to Kerry (who could). "Oh, well, excuse me! I guess I'm in your way. After all, I'm sure your time is much more valuable than mine!" To which Kerry chimed in just kidding along, "Yeah, don't you know who I am?" I know he was just kidding, but my blood went cold. I don't ever want to think anything like that for even a nano-second. After all, what sin does God hate more than pride? Oh, that's right--THERE ISN'T ONE!

So whether I am on a merry-go-round or a rocket ship with these books, I am nothing more than a privileged servant. I don't ever want the Lord to let me forget that. And if I ever do, I hope He slaps me so hard my head spins around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.

This is all God's doing. It was His idea, they are His books and it's His ministry. My only job is to be a Micah 6:8 woman and "Do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with my God." May He always grant me the grace to do exactly that.

It's a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life!

2009-11-28T15:22:00.000-08:00

The oldest of all my nieces and nephews is getting married tonight and I am finding it to be surprisingly bittersweet. Jordan was the oldest grandchild on both sides of the family and, at 27 if he had lived, would surely be married by now.

I have never known a kid to talk about what kind of girl he would marry and how many children they would have as much as Jordan did. From the time he was two it was on his mind and in his thoughts and conversations. Seriously.

I am thrilled for Josh and Ashely and wish them all the best. I am surprised and a bit miffed by my melancholy. I don't often think about what Jordan missed out on in this life, because I know he is enjoying a glorious one heaven and wouldn't come back if he could.

But life is for the living and since I am still listed among them, I am sad for what he missed out on and, as a result, the rest of us have missed out on as well.

When these moments come, I make myself think back to the night he died, when the Lord allowed me to see his spirit outside of the truck window on the drive back from picking up Jacob in Norman.

Oh, I have never witnessed such joy in all my life! It doesn't exist in this realm. It radiated from within him, along with the golden, iridescent Shiknah glory of God! He was so incredibly happy! Thrilled. Ecstatic. Joy inexpressible.

He was only there a moment, flying just outside my window and keeping pace with the truck, but I will never forget it. It was the greatest gift God has ever given me outside of my salvation. He was healthy and whole and looked like he would have if he had never had the transplant! That's why I know the experience was real.

Just the memory of seeing him lifts my spirits! Tonight I will rejoice!

Quote of the Year

2009-11-27T15:39:00.001-08:00

"Sin is the suicidal action of the self against itself." Tim Keller

Nothin' but the Best!

2009-11-22T16:27:00.000-08:00

I have this beautiful, expensive, blonde Guild guitar I bought over 30 years ago, the sight of which makes grown men weak in the knees. Grown guitar-playing men, that is. It's a real beauty. When I bought it, it was almost white, with slight yellowish undertones. But it has aged better than most people and has taken on the rich golden hue of pure Tupelo honey.

I was getting ready to play it the other day and couldn't get it tuned. I knew it probably needed new strings, and while I usually buy them and put them on myself, I decided to just go to the local music store and give them an opportunity to prove their customer service side.

I bought the Martin Marquis Light Gauge and asked the hippie behind the counter if I could get him to put them on for me. I pulled my guitar out of its case and he gasped. I am not making this up. He got wide-eyed and looked like he was about to wet his pants. Then he sort of gave this long moan and said, "That's a beautiful guitar you have there." I already knew that, so now that made two of us. His comment drew the other two employees over and while he replaced the strings, the other two oohed and ahhed and one of them whipped out some wood polish and began to polish and caress it while whispering sweet nothings in its ear.

They took turns playing it, commented on its deep, resonate sound, the still perfect action (that's guitar speak for how far the strings come away from the frets--less is better) the requisite scratches from a aggressive strumming, etc.

They asked if my husband would mind if I came back every now and then to visit my three new boyfriends. It was all loads of fun.

But the truth is, I am NOT a musician. I play because of sheer tenacity. I like to sing and have practiced enough that I can carry a tune while I strum along. But make no mistake. I am NOT a musician. Even after all these years, I play like a dyslexic third-grader trying to read. If I was going to guitar school I would still be in Kindergarten. Seriously.

G-C-D-Am is about the extent of my ability. I can't play a bar chord to save my life. Twice I have attempted lessons but have quit because I don't have the time to practice like I should. I was embarrassed to own such a beautiful instrument and play it so poorly.

But then I started thinking. That guitar is a perfect example of the kind of gifts God gives to His children. Be they physical, spiritual, practical or any other variety, God is extravagant in His giving and gives us more than we deserve, more than we can absorb, more than we can handle, more than we can give thanks for.

Think about it for a minute. Salvation is an extravagant gift, heaven will be an extravagant place, He has given us extravagant talents, callings, authority and pleasures in life.

And all of a sudden, instead of being embarrassed, I was delighted that the Lord God Almighty had allowed me to be the owner of something that barely tapped into all He wants to give me! I'm not talking material things here. I am thinking of all the spiritual knowledge, growth in grace, intimacy with the Father and love for the people created in His image which has been poured out on me that I have barely tapped in to but is mine in ever increasing abundance.
I began praising God as I drove home! I thanked Him for my guitar and for all He wanted to pour from His hands to me.

So now, instead of feeling guilty for owning it or proud for having it, every time I see it propped up in its place or pick it up to play it, it is a reminder of God's extravagant love. May you see it for yourself in whatever means God uses in your life!

Book Lust

2009-10-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

On of the nice things about having a husband who works for an airline is that I can fly free. The down side is that I have to fly stand-b y and only get a seat if there is one available. It usually works out, but to ensure a greater degree of success, I almost always try for the first flight out of Tulsa to Dallas at 6:00 am.

Which means, like it did this past Wednesday, that if I have something scheduled in the evening, I have lots of down time. This makes me very happy. Because it allows me hours of guilt free time to read!

I read two books in two days--one great one called, "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls, and one good one titled, "The Guinea Pig Diaries" by A.J. Jacobs. I feel ahead of the game in regard to my self-imposed but extremely strict rule to read at least a book a week.

The first one was so good I finished it in a matter of hours. We were rain delayed getting out of Atlanta on the return trip, and I found myself in a quandary. I usually carry a smorgasbord of books to choose from so that, depending on my mood, I will have on hand just what I am looking for at the moment.

However, I just started carrying my laptop computer with me when I travel--primarily because I now have a laptop computer to take with me when I travel. But it takes up precious real estate in my carry on bag and significantly decreases my book space.

So on this last trip, I only took one book, foolishly thinking it would keep me fully occupied for both days of the trip. What I hadn't counted on was the "can't put it down" factor of Walls' brilliant memoir, and all the down time caused by weather delays on the return trip.

So there I was, stuck in the Atlanta airport, jacked up on Starbuck's coffee, with the whole day ahead of me and nothing to read. This was a much bigger inconvenience than delays. In fact, it was close to a catastrophe.

I wandered into the nearest airport book store and scoured the shelves, instantly dismissing anything with the word "novel" on the cover and severely limiting my choices. But that's okay. Americans have too many options on everything from toothpaste to salad dressing anyway. And I am purely a non-fiction aficionado.

I looked through several titles including Jeannette Walls' second book, "Half Broke Horses" and "Accidental Billionaires" about the two former friends who started Face Book which I'd read a favorable review about.

Having just finished the emotionally draining, "The Glass Castle," and knowing the brain expanding book, "Satan and the Problem of Evil" that was waiting for me at home, I decided I needed a little mental levity. So I finally decided on "The Guinea Pig Diaries" and headed to the check out counter when I decided to glance at the price tag. Instantly there was a problem. The book was $25.

I can't tell you the last time I spent $25 on a single book, but I can assure you it's been a while--ever since I discovered half.com, where it more than lives up to its name, so the price seemed a bit steep, to say the least.

I stood there for quite some time weighing it out in my mind. $25 for a book I could get for half that or less if I waited, or hours of boredom listening to talking heads on the television monitors or watching countless people talk too loud on their cell phones in public places. I'm surprised it took as long as it did because, naturally, the book won out.

I justified it to my inner self by convincing that inner self I would return it to Barnes and Noble in Tulsa and buy three books that were on sale with the store credit I'd receive.

This was merely a lie I told myself to justify my decision to buy the book. I know very well that once I read a book it becomes my life-long friend and I can't bear to part with it.

Whenever Jay and I get into an argument about all the stuff he collects and all the junk he can't seem to part with that needs to GO with a capital G (in my humble opinion) all he has to say is, "If you want to get rid of stuff so badly, let's just get rid of some of your books!" It shuts me up every time.

It's impossible to explain to a non-reader the power of a good book, so I don't even try.

I can't say I'd highly recommend A.J Jacob's book, though I thoroughly enjoyed his first book "The Know-It-All" about his quest to read through the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. But I would highly recommend Walls' bittersweet memoir of triumphing over incomprehensible circumstances.

I'll even loan it to you so you won't have to buy it!

Taking Orders!

2009-09-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, eh? So much for regular posting. I did exactly what I knew I would do which is probably why I did it....
But in my own defense, I have been pretty busy. Got Jacob off to Nashville and Jessie off to the University of Hertfordshire just outside of London.
We flew to Dallas together last Friday and she left for her grand adventure while I flew to Asheville, NC to drive to Staunton, VA with my cousin Bob and his wife for my cousin Susie's 60th birthday bash.
It was incredible! The Christmas tree farm where she and her boyfriend Bill live is absolutely idyllic. It was like walking into a "Country Living" magazine. Everything was picture perfect with lots of family and friends gathering for barbecue and croquet.
Later we all sat under a giant tree with tiny white Christmas lights strung through it and listened to Robin and Linda Williams of "A Prairie Home Companion" fame entertain us with endless songs that make for swaying, foot tapping and smiles.
My cousin Bob joined in with his congo drum and someone else played their cello. Honestly, the only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been having my family there with me. But Jay had to work, Jacob couldn't get away and Jessie was flying over the ocean.
Aside from all that, I have been very busy with the edits to the book and trying to make sure the two audio recordings and seven coloring pages will be available on the web site by the time the book is released.
We (we being the folks in Mobile) are also in the process of completely revamping my web site to include the downloadable audios, as well as the coloring pages. They are putting in a shopping cart so folks can order the book directly from the site if they don't feel like making a trip to the book store, though they will be available there as well.
Which brings me to the purpose of this post. If any of you faithful readers would like to preorder a copy of "The Rhyme & Reason Series: Genesis" you can let me know and I will add you to the growing list.
The books will retail for $15.99 which, after tax, will come to a grand total of $17.35. Let me know how many you want and I will make sure to reserve a copy for you and get it to you as well. For those of you who are out of state, I'm not sure yet what the ship- ping will be, but I will let you know just as soon as I do, or you are welcome to order directly from the website. The address is the same one: www.catherinezoller.com.
The journey continues and every day is more exciting than the previous one! I thank each of you for your prayers and encouragement, your belief in me and in this project, and your confidence that God would indeed finish what He had begun!
I trust that you will share this series with your friends and they with theirs and together we will watch God accomplish His great purposes for His kingdom and glory!

The Circle of Life

2009-08-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

Jacob left yesterday for Nashville, Tennessee, to live the next chapter in this adventure called life. He rented a U-Haul and loaded up all his earthly possessions, 85% of which were books. Another 12% was clothes and the last 3% was a blender, a George Foreman grill, a laundry basket and a few sundry items for establishing a household. He will certainly need more.
He will be there for two years working with RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) as, essentially, a missionary to a college campus. The fact that he is going to Belmont, which is a Christian university, should scream something about the state of Christ- ianity in America, but I will save that for another post.
There is a distinct melancholy that is drifting around my heart and threatening to settle there. But I won't let it. It has been so won- derful having him use our home as his "base" for the last 15 months since graduating from OU. From here he traveled the world and went on incredible adventures in between waiting tables at a local upscale restaurant.
Which is one of the things that makes this so hard. I got used to having him around again! And now I am going to have to get used to him being gone. And not just to Norman this time, but to Nashville, which the last time I checked my atlas, is not exactly next door. He won't be popping in for Sunday dinner!
I must say, I am incredibly thankful to the Lord for how short the season was where Jacob was caught up in severe legalism and wouldn't speak to me. It nearly broke my heart.
But I have always said God redeems everything, and He redeemed that very difficult six months by allowing him to live here for the past 15 while he got ready for the internship.
We have had so many wonderful conversations and arguments (in the truest sense of the word, not the angry sense) about the theology and doctrines of Scripture. It fed something in me for which I am deeply thirsty and I will miss that most of all.
We have encouraged one another as we were both needing God to provide financially for our needs. His need was for the internship and mine is to increase the book order. Seeing him receive his provision has bolstered me to stand in faith for mine.
So I am sad. But only for myself. Not for him. It is as it should be. This, after all, was the goal all along! To raise productive members of society and children who love and serve the Lord. By some mysterious miracle of God's grace, we have done that. I always said my job as a mother was to work myself out of a job. Mission accomplished.
After all, if he were 35 years old, still living at home, still waiting tables, and had three children by three different women, with me doing his laundry and paying for car repairs and who knows what else this would be an entirely different blog entry! (My dad used to say, "You can come back, but you can't breed and come back.")
So we are finished for the most part with the task God gave us. Still, make no mistake that that doesn't mean the satisfaction isn't tinged with some sadness.
It won't last long. He will call. We will e-mail. I'll write. He will come home to visit even though he will likely never live under our roof again. He will meet a woman and marry and add another to the puzzle pieces of our family, and even more pieces when he has children.
I'll be busy and distracted with the books.
So mostly I am thrilled for the call of God on his life, for his obedience to it and excitement in it. I am curious how this chapter is going to influence the next one and so on.
He will be home this Thanksgiving for his cousin's wedding and again for Christmas, I hope. We have Jay's flight benefits so I can see him when our schedules allow. I know all of that. It's not goodbye for the rest of this life like it was with Jordan.
But still. It's going to be different from now on. And the way life usually works is once I get used to that change, it will be different again!
Thankfully these melancholy spells don't last long. And always, God is good.

Random Thoughts on Murder and Forgivness

2009-08-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

I get on these obsessive/compulsive jags where I read a certain author or genre until I have exhausted the supply. Rick Riley, the writer and columnist for Sports Illustrated and Mike Royko, who wrote for the Chicago Tribune, were particular favorites. Then there was the summer I worked my way through every word Lewis Grizzard ever wrote, laughing 'till my sides split. I was actually angry when he smoked and drank himself to death and deprived the world of his incredible, insightful and hilarious talent. I have a penchant for columnists because they always exhibit such a delicious way with words.
At one point I was heavily into true crime. Ann Rule was my primary author of choice, though there were others. This particular jag was deeply distressful to my husband. He was sure I was trying to plan the perfect murder. His.
But the truth is, I have always been fascinated by human nature, the mind, psychology and what causes things to go wrong in the heart and psyche of some people. It is assumed the deviant, murderous, sociopathic or pathalogical minds are frightening abberations of "normal" and I have always viewed them with a terrified fascination. I have often wondered if they aren't really just the extreme consequences of living in a viloently fallen and sinful world, and if each of us, given the wrong circumstances or upbringing woudn't be capable and vulnerable of becoming what is the worst of mankind.
My interest within the interest centered on serial killers. I find them morbidly and repulsively fascinating. I love the three legs of a crime story. First, the psychological make-up and motives of the killer; secondly, the painstaking work of detectives whose passion for justice is almost always equal to their suspect's passion for murder; thirdly, the preparation of the trial lawers whose job it is to see these people brought to justice and prevent added atrocities.
In that place where the nonsense of your dreams gradually give way to the first conscious thoughts of the day I often have my most enlightening moments. I always wish I could stay there longer, but those little vacations last mere moments.
One morning not long ago I had a powerful awarness of the deep depravity and consequences of sin we can never completley divorce ourselves from. I understood on a deeper level than I ever have just how far we have fallen from God's original idea of who we should be and of how truly monsterous the crowning glory of His creation can become.
There are people who beat, rape and kill their own children. Children who murder their partent. A smorgasboard of exual deviants. On a slightly less extreme but just as spiritually lethal level there are people who lie, cheat, steal, have abortions, commit adultry, are addicted to drugs and alcohol, have anger issues or are bitter and unforgiving.
How tragically far we have fallen from the plans of the God who longs to walk with us in the garden in the cool of the day; who made the vastness of creation for our pleasure; whose vast imagination and creativity are beyond comprehension.
I started thinking about all the kooks out there and the hundreds of miles I hitchhiked as a teenager. It was the only way for me to get from one place to another and at one point, from McCloud, Oklahoma, to Monore, Louisanna, where I was picked up by a country preacher driving a brown Mavrick who shared the Gospel with me and changed my life forever.
I will never know how many times God protected me from harm. I could easily have been beaten, raped or murdered. It happens to people all the time and all the more so to runaway teenagers who the depraved prey on.
I began to worship God in that semi-conscious state and thank Him profusely for His care and proteciton when I was oblivious. It occured to me that not only did He spare my life as a teenager, He spares it every day. After all, how many people die in car accidents every day? Or lose their minds to Alzheimer's or their bodies to debilitating diseases?
I stand guilty before God of many grevious sins. I live in a fallen world. I have a sin nature. But mostly, I have consciously and deliberately made wrong choices and shot an arrow into the great heart of a righteous and holy God. Some of them have had physical, emotional or psychological consequences. All of them have had spiritual consequences.
But I serve a God whose love for me is greater than the vastness of space. The plans, promises and blessings He has planned for me outnumber the stars.
He longs to fill my mind with the same creativity He expressed at creation. And the same power that brought into being everything seen and unseen and that "holds all things together by the word of His power," sets me free.
I understood that in a way I never had before and I wept myself into wakefulness.
God's word is true. It cannot fail. "Whom the Son sets free is free indeed." God wants to-longs to- set me free from the sins that so easily beset me. He wants to take the life He has preserved and the gifts He has given me and use them to be a beakon of the light of glory in the darkness that envelopes the world.
I understood Paul's cry, "For me to live is Christ, to die is gain." I want my life to be lived for God's purposes and pleasure, one of which is to be my best friend. I want to anticipate heaven, not as a windowledge I hope to hang onto my by fingernails, but as my true home where I will one day be in the presence of the God who dwells there and where I will live with Him in glory unimaginable. Where everything He has trained me for here will have purpose there.
I understood in a more profound manner that when the light of Christ enters a person they are truly catapulted into another kingdom. A kingdom of life, love, hope, peace and perfect communion with the living God.
We see through a glass darkly, but one day we will see face-to-face.
My heart was overwhelmed with thanksgiving and gratitude to God for who He is, what He has done, what He longs to do and for His mercies, grace and forgiveness which are new every morning and extended to me as surely as Xerxes extended the scepter to Esther.
The same power that caused Jesus to burst forth from the grave and overcome death and Hades is at work in me and for me and through me and is setting me free! My only job is to respond to all He has already done for me. To tap into it and allow Him to completely rule and reign in every thought, action and detail of my life.
The best part is that I don't have to beg and plead and cry and "try." I just need to ask and God, who is able to do "above and beyond all I could ask or think" and He will show up and do what only He is capable of doing. Which is everything!

Westminster Confession of Faith

2009-08-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

The most wise, righteous, and gracious God doth oftentimes leave, for a season, His own children to manifold temptations, and the corruption of their own hearts, to chastise them for their former sins, or to discover unto them the hidden strength of corruption and decietfulness of their own hearts, that they may be humbled; and, to raise them to a more close and constant dependence for their support upon Himself, and to make them more watchful

Lessons From Blaise Pascal

2009-08-22T13:34:00.000-07:00

Blaise Pascal was a French mathematician and a genius who made tremendous contributions in the area of mathematics.
He had a dramatic encounter with the Lord at the age of 31 which he expressed on a piece of parchment and sewed into his coat where it was found eight years later when he died as a young man. It read:
"Year of grace 1654, Monday, 23 November, feast of St. Clement. From about half past ten at night to just about half an hour after midnight, fire. God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, not of philosophers and scholars. Certitude. Heartfelt joy. Peace. God of Jesus Christ, God of Jesus Christ, my God and your God. Joy, joy, joy, tears of joy! Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, may I never be separated from him."
Later in one of his writings, he made this observation: "All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war and others avoiding it is the same desire in both. This is the motive of every action of every man. Even of those who hang themselves."
Another time he wrote: "If God does not exist, one will lose nothing by believing in Him, while if He does exist, one will lose everything by not believing."
I never really liked math. I prefer words. But I think I would have liked Blaise Pascal.

Encouragement in Trials

2009-08-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

I am in a prayer group with three other women. We try to get together at least once a week, though that doesn't always work out. When it doesn't we pray over the phone.
Over the years, as each of us have faced extremely difficult circumstances and we have prayed steadfastly and been each others Aaron and Hur, the Lord has knit our souls togther.
However, it is by the "washing of the water of the Word" that our spirits are nourished--even more so than through prayer--because this is what God Himself declared would nourish us.
Prayer is one of the most powerful forces in the universe and corporate prayer is that power multiplied. But it is the Word of God that changes, teaches and instructs us.
And so for anyone who is facing any kind of difficulty I would encourage you to not only lift your concerns before the Lord in prayer, but to cling to His Word and let it revive you.
Here are four of my favorite, life-giving Scriptures when facing the difficulties and trials of life:

"Consider it all joy, my brethern, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things wich are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4: 16-18

"For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow-heirs with Chirst, if indeed we suffer with Him in order that we may also be glorified with Him." Romans 8: 15-17

"Come, let us return to the Lord. For He has torn us, but He will heal us; He has wounded us, but He will bandage us. He will revive us after two days; He will raise us up on the third day that we may live before Him. So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain wateing the earth." Hosea 6:1-3

As faithful servants of God Most High, the King and Creator of all the universe, when we encounter the difficulties and trials of life, let us soak in His Word, bask in His goodness, trust in His gentle- ness, believe in His character, and cling to His promises like a drowning man clinging to a life perserver in the tossing sea.

My Daily Prayer

2009-08-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

"Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Draw me deep into Yourself, O Lord, and purify me. Lead me in the everlasting way. Abba, I belong to You. Keep my will bent toward Your will, my heart tender toward truth, my mind renewed by Your word, my life committed to do your will. Amen."

It Isn't Easy Being Green

2009-08-10T11:56:00.000-07:00

Green. It's the new black. Everyone is wearing it. On their sleeves, that is. "Sustainability" has catapulted from a good idea and a grass roots movement into a revolution and a national obsession. Frantic cries of "Global warming!" and "Carbon footprint" are echoing across the country with all the intensity of Paul Revere shouting that the British were coming.
Perhaps the ecologic danger is no less real, but it turns out, it depends on whom you talk to. We can't seem to get a consensus on the raging debate over whether the polar ice caps are in fact melting. Not that I've been trying to pin down those in the know. Some say yes, some say no. But quite frankly I have been too distracted with trying to raise my children to be responsible and productive members of society on every level to worry too much about it. But now that the little darlings have learned to balance their checkbooks, save their tax receipts, write a sincere thank you note, respond to an rsvp, clip coupons, read a recipe, grocery shop, do their own laundry, be courteous to insipid government workers, drive a stick shift, and apply for college scholarships I will have more time to interview polar bears.
However, the fever-pitched battle cry for "sustainability" was not waiting patiently for my schedule to lighten up. It is relentless and pervasive and bombarding us from the most unlikely places. Not only is it impossible to pick up a single magazine without it touting the "green" anthem, but just the other day I was in one of those huge box stores because there is no place else to shop anymore (a diatribe for another day) when I came across these words on the air dryer in the ladies room: "24 trees will be saved during the life of this hand dryer."
I left the ladies room but I couldn't shake the thought. It haunted me as I piled paper towels, paper plates, paper napkins and toilet paper into my shopping cart. 24 trees. How did they know that? It sounded so very convincing. After all, it didn't say "approximately 24 trees." No. It was exactly 24 trees. So then I couldn't help but wonder what kind of trees? California Redwoods or volunteer saplings that spring up between mowings? Actually, as it turns out, I have a couple of scrub oaks in my yard I'd be happy to see turned into something useful...
And then I couldn't help but wonder what would become of the hand dryer when it's life was over. Would it go directly into a landfill? Or maybe recycled into braces to improve adolescent smiles? And then what would become of the braces once they had done their job? I broke into a cold sweat as I considered all the horrible implications and the lack of satisfying answers. I can't stay on this track...I need my sleep.
So is it just me? Or are we all feeling subtly shamed into obsessing over the irreversible damage we are doing to the ecosystem if we choose to irresponsibly dry our hands on paper towels?
We are told to buy "water sense" toilets, "formaldehyde free" insulation, compact florescent light bulbs, and on and on it goes. Suddenly SUVs are as vilifying as second-hand smoke. And though I don't smoke and drive an economical car, I just can't take one more slice from the guilt pie. Like kudzu there is simply too much of it around and no way to get rid of it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm all for being responsible. I don't waste food. I open the dish washer before it hits the dry cycle. I never leave the lights on when I'm not in the room. I diligently recycle. But I tend to choke on anything that is rammed down my throat.
Regardless of where you stand on the issue, there is one thing the invisible and elusive "they" aren't telling us about being green. So allow me to let you in on a little secret: It's hard work! It's tough enough to get the small number of people in my household to sort their whites and darks, rinse dishes and load the dishwasher or put their clothes on hangers and their trash in strategically located cans. But now I am supposed to gather that trash and wash it, rinse it, sort it, drive it to the recycle center or pay to have it picked up at the curb and try to convince the rest of the world to do the same. It's like having a part-time job as a volunteer.
And all this so my conscience won't come unhinged, my children's children will rise up and call me blessed, and will be able to eat mercury free salmon and discuss the bright future of the spotted owl and bask in their environmental stewardship.
Fine. But let's just be completely honest about all the extra time, money and effort this supposedly tranquil color is demanding of us, shall we? Now instead of waste, excess, irresponsibility and the American way, we are constantly bombarded by our obligation to future generations. Who built this bandwagon, anyway? My best guess it that it's probably not the profit driven folks at Huggies or Acquifina.
And just in case you are ready to wad up your "It's Easy Being Green" non-dyed, cotton fiber, reusable grocery store tote and throw it at me, let me assure you I have been environmentally conscious since before cool people used "groovy" in everyday conversation.
Our household was its own version of Mother Earth News. We gleefully collected tons of newspapers from the neighbors for my older brother's yearly Boy Scout paper drive. Around the same time my mother read about burning tightly rolled newspaper logs in the fireplace. We didn't do this out of economic necessity, so I can only assume we were ahead of our time. They didn't burn like real logs but we felt pretty smug fanning the smoldering ashes while jealoulsy smelling the chopped wood logs (gasp!) our more boorish and less conscientious neighbors burned in their fire- places.
One summer my eccentric aunt saved all our soda pop cans and patiently cut, sculpted, painted and arranged them into giant bouquets of flowers using heavy cotton gloves, metal shears and oil paints. My mother still has one on her formal dining room table that looks as good as the day my aunt ceremoniously dropped it there in a drunken stupor, so I can only imagine all those cans would still be intact if they were in a landfill rather than on my mother's table.
When I had children of my own I trained them to save and sort aluminum cans, plastic milk jugs, glass (by color) and the requisite newspapers. We diligently sent our pop tops to the Ronald Mc Donald House in St. Louis to help offset the cost of kidney dialysis. I knew I had crossed into some sort of invisible obsessive/com- pulsive behavior when I began raiding the trash cans at my children's sporting events and grabbing cans from people in the stands before they were finished with them. But all I could think about were all those poor kids whose kidneys didn't work.
Eventually I became mentally and emotionally unhinged and on the verge of needing in-patient therapy. Certainly my children were on the verge of needing it.
Fortunately those days are behind me. The pendulum has finally swung from either side back to the middle where it has rested. I can't say the same for the rest of the country. Guilt and obsession have been replaced with hard won sanity and for me, that means balance and harmony. I am still doing my part to keep this planet spinning and will continue quietly as a responsible global citizen.
But be forewarned. Even if the entire world is on the verge of ecologic collapse, I refuse to give up my Charmin habit.

Life Lessons

2009-08-07T14:34:00.000-07:00

In my 51 years on this planet I have learned a few things which I'd like to share with you:

The secret to a long marriage is...staying married.
Hand in hand with that truth is, "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know."
For those over 40 who grew up hearing, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." The truth is, love means always saying you are sorry when it needs to be said.
Life is not "fair." It never will be. Whatever your lot, cultivate it.
Cliches are cliches for a reason.
Bitterness and resentment are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.
If it ain't workin' for ya, don't keep doing it.
There are perfect parents in this world. I used to be one. Then I had children of my own.
The world doesn't need a definition of Christianity as much as it needs a demonstration.
Our words may hide our thoughts, but our actions reveal them.
The reason a dog has so many friends is because he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
The most terrible of lies is not that which is uttered, but that which is lived.
The secret of being a saint, is being a saint in secret.
You are always in the wrong key when you start singing your own praises.
There is no greater power in the universe than prayer.
We must learn to set our course by the light of truth, not by the light of every passing ship.
Everything that has been forwarded to you via e-mail I have already read.
Martin Luther said, "I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still posses."
There is no right way to do a wrong thing.
Deal with faults in others as gently as you deal with them in yourself.
Don't work so hard to make a good husband that you never quite manage to make a good wife.
A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.
If it were easy, anybody could do it.
It is impossible to go forward in the strength of the Lord until we have first learned the depth of our own helpless- ness. In order to mold us, He often has to melt us.
Trouble is like an ugly dog. It looks worse coming than going.
Anatole France said, "To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but dream; not only plan, but also believe."
Anytime you use the expression, "Like a rat on a Cheeto," you are bound to get a laugh.
If we fear God there is nothing else to fear.
These are the good ol' days!
Thomas Jefferson knew of that which he spoke when he said, "Who then can so softly bind the wounds of another as he who has felt the same wounds himself."

Lessons From the Life of George Mueller

2009-08-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

As I drove to Oklahoma City yesterday I listened to John Piper's sermon on the life of George Mueller that he preached once at his yearly pastor's conference. It was so good I listened to it again on the return trip.
Piper is known for reading the biographies of great men of God and speaking about their lives in a way that impacts our own.
What follows are the highlights from that sermon that particularly struck me. Muellers comments are in quotes, the rest is taken directly from the sermon notes.

Discovery of the all-encompassing sovereignty of God became the foundation of Mueller's confidence in God to answer his prayers for money. He gave up his regular salary. He refused to ask people directly for money. He simply prayed and published his reports about the goodness of God and the answers to his prayers.
"Work with all your might, but trust not the least in your work."
He insisted that his hope was in God alone.
He had come to know and love the absolute sovereignty of God in the context of the doctrines of grace, and therefore he cherished it mainly as sovereign goodness. This gave him a way to maintain a personal peace beyond human understanding in the face of tre- mendous stress and occasional tragedy.
"The Lord never lays more on us in the way of chastisement than our state of heart makes needful; so that whilst He smites with one hand, He supports with the other."
In the face of painful circumstances he writes, "I bow, I am satis- fied with the will of my Heavenly Father, I seek by perfect submission to His holy will and to glorify Him, I kiss continually the hand that has thus afflicted me."
When he was about to lose a piece of property that he wanted for the next orphan house, he said, "If the Lord were to take this piece of land from me, it would be only for the purpose of giving me a still better one; for our Heavenly Father never takes any eartly thing from His children except He means to give them something better instead."
The sovereign goodness of God served, first and foremost, as the satisfaction of the soul. And then the satisfied soul was freed to sacrifice and live a life of simplicity and risk and self-denial and love. But everything flowed from the soul that is first satisfied in the gracious, sovereign God.
Why is this "the most important thing"? Why is daily happiness in God "of supreme and paramount importance"?
Becuase it glorifies God. It shows that God is gloriously satisfying.
"Glad self-denial" is the aroma of Mueller's life.
"Self-denial is not so much an impoverishment as a postponement: we make a sacrifice of a present good for the sake of a future and greater good."
Therefore happiness in God is of "supreme importance" because it is the key to love that sacrifices and takes risks.
"Whatever be done... in the way of giving up, or self-denial, or deadness to the world, should result from the joy we have in God."
If happiness in God is "of supreme and paramount importance" because it is the spring of sacrificial love that honors God, then the crucial question becomes - how do we get it and keep it?
"This happiness is to be obtained through the study of the Holy Scriptures. God has therein revealed Himself to us in the face of Jesus Christ. In them... we become acquainted with the character of God. Our eyes are divinely opened to see what a lovely being God is! And this good, gracious, loving, Heavenly Father is ours, our portion for time and eternity."
Knowing God is the key to being happy in God.
Therefore the most crucial means of fighting for joy in God is to immerse oneself in the Scriptures where we see God in Christ most clearly. When he was 71 years old, Mueller spoke to younger be- lievers: "Now in brotherly love and affection I would give a few hints to my younger fellow-believers as to the way in which to keep up spiritual enjoyment. It is absolutely needful in order that happiness in the Lord may continue, that the Scriptrues be regu- larly read. These are God's appointed means for the nourishment of the inner man... Consider it, and ponder over it... Especially we should ready regularly through the Scriptures, consecutively, and not pick out here and there a chapter. If we do, we remain spiritual dwarfs. I tell you so affectionately. For the first four years after my conversion I made no progress, because I neglected the Bible. But when I reagularly read through the whole with reference to my own heart and soul, I directly made progress. Then my peace and joy continued more and more. Now I have been doing this for 47 years. I have read through the whole Bible about 100 times and I always find it fresh when I begin again. Thus my peace and joy have increased more and more."
He would live another 21 years and pick up the pace so that he managed to read through the Bible at least 200 times before he died.
He never changed his strategy for satisfaction in God. When he was 76 he wrote the same thing he did when he was 60.
"I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I aught to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God, and to meditation on it... What is the food of the inner man? Not prayer, but the Word of God; and... not the simple reading of the Word of God, so that it passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts."
The aim of George Mueller's life was to glorify God by helping people take God at His word. To that end he saturated his soul with the Word of God. At one point he said that he reads his Bible five to ten times more than he reads any other books. His aim was to see God in Jesus Christ crucified and raised from the dead in order that he might maintain the happiness of his soul in God. By this deep satisfaction George Mueller was set free from the fears and lusts of the world. And in this freedom of love he chose a strategy of ministry as a style of life that put the reality and trustworthiness and beauty of God on display. (Quite interstinly to me, is why he chose to found and support orphanages. It wasn't primarily the help and care of the orphans that motivated him; rather it was looking for a means by which to allow God to work through him and bring the greatest visible glory to Himself. This is an awesome way of looking at ministry and one that, in my mind, bears much consideration. C.)
To use his own words, his life became a "visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of God."
I will let him have the closing word and plea for us to join him in the path of radical, joyful faith:
"My dear Christian reader, will you not try this way? Will you not look for yourself... the preciousness and the happiness of this way of casting all your cares and burdens and necessities upon God? This way is as open to you as it is to me... Every one is invited and commanded to trust the Lord, to trust in Him with all his heart, and to cast his burden upon Him, and to call upon Him in the day of trouble. Will you not do this, my dear brethren in Christ? I long that you may do so. I desire that you may taste the sweetness of that state of heart, in which, while surrounded by the difficulties and necessities, you can yet be at peace, because you know that the living God, your Father in heaven, cares for you."

Full Circle

2009-08-05T10:58:00.000-07:00

In much the same way that Al Gore is responsible for the invention of the Internet, I should probably go ahead and announce that I am personally responsible for our ability to download music and create custom made CDs. I will not take credit for the iPod or iPhone, but they are obviously byproducts of the former.
I have loved music since WKY radio on the AM dial and Simon and Garfunkel introduced me to "The Sounds of Silence" as a child. I immediately went out and bought the 45 and played it until I wore out the grooves. I still have a pretty substantial album collection (even though they never get played any more I can't seem to part with them) that morphed into a cassette tape collection and now a CD collection.
But even as a kid I used to think there needed to be a way to take all my favorite songs from all my favorite albums and artists and combine them into a single album of random songs. I know they have "The best of the '60s" or "Greatest Love Songs of All Times" and that kind of thing, but I wanted a way to put my favorite songs together, not somebody elses.
And now, as a direct result of magical thinking, it is possible for everyone to do just that! You can thank me later.
A few years ago before Jacob's conscience became tender, and I was clueless, he illegally downloaded some songs and made a few CDs for me. I have played them endlessly and they were showing serious signs of wear and tear. Plus I had been making a list of other songs I wanted burned--to the tune of two note book pages filled front and back with titles and artist.
I had been asking him to put it on his list of "things to do before I leave for Nashville" to--this time legally--make some new CDs for me. Just because I thought there aught to be a way to do it in no way means I actually know how to do it myself.
So today he got out his laptop computer, gathered all my old CDs and my list of songs and is in the process of making me a new collection of all my favorite tunes.
Some of them I haven't heard for years and just a few minutes ago I was listening to the old Rod Stewart song "Leave Virginia Alone" and though it was never much of a hit for some reason, it brought back vivid memories of Jordan and me dancing to it in our kitchen.
He loved music as much as I do and it was one of many things we had in common and it contributed mightily to the tight bond between us.
I stood in my kitchen and cried as I remembered Jordan and all the music we loved and shared. But I was also crying because Jacob was served me so selflessly by doing something that means so much to me when there are a million other things I'm sure he would rather have been doing.
The memories these songs created with Jordan have created new memories with Jacob. It binds my heart to theirs in a way I can't explain, but that moves me to tears.
Either that or I'm getting ready to have one last period.

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

2009-08-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm. What to say today. I guess I'll just say what's on my mind.
I'm sure you have all heard me refer to my children as being in "various stages of gone." And it's true and keeps getting truer!
Jordan is the most gone, of course. Gone at least from this life, from our presence, from our ability to see and hear and touch and kiss him. But alive with Chirst!
When Jessie graduated from high school and joined Jacob at OU, they were gone as well. Gone from our house, gone from our every day life, gone from our parental control, but not from our parental concern.
Now Jacob is leaving for Nashville two weeks from today and Jessie will be leaving to study abroad in England on September 20th.
That's GONE!
I am thrilled for them, of course. Thrilled to watch them grow into young adults--after all, I always said my job as a mother was to work myself out of a job! Thrilled that they both love the Lord and follow him with all their hearts and give me absolutely no cause for concern or grief. Thrilled they are having adventures, spreading their wings, finding their place in life and society and ministry. Thrilled to think about what lies ahead for them and to watch the adventure unfold. Thrilled to have a relationship with them that is different than the one I had with them when they were children. Thrilled with all God is doing.
BUT...
Having them gone and so far away will be difficult. Jay has always said, "They can live any where in the world they want to as long as it's on the same block we live on!"
I totally get that sentiment.
I wish they were mine to have and to hold and to keep forever. It was never my intention, but all I have ever done besides love God is raise kids. But at this point if it weren't for the first book in "The Rhyme and Reason Series" being ready to launch I would need to be shackeld down, locked up and have really good drugs pumped directly into my aorta.
The good news is that: GOD IS GOOD! The four of us are all starting new adventures and I will have enough going on to keep me marvelously distracted!
The better news is there is e-mail, Face Book, Twitter, cell phones, Skype, flight benefits and all kinds of modern technology to keep us all connected.
God is good! "For such a time (my time!) as this!"

The Rhema of Isaiah 40:26

2009-08-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

I graduated from Alexis I. du Pont High School in Wilmington, Delaware, in June of 1976 and immediately left for YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and the Discipleship Training School in Hammonton, New Jersey.
I had given my life to the Lord in a juvenile detention center in Monroe, Louisiana, a day or so after a little country preacher picked me up while I was hitchhiking to Florida and bought me a Dairy Queen hamburger which I scarfed down while he shared the gospel with me.
Pretty soon after that encounter with God my aunt and uncle came and took me to live with them which is how I got to Wilmington via Oklahoma City and the Sunbeam Home. I was never a stellar student, being more interested in getting high and shooting pool that sitting in a classroom, but I somehow managed to graduate by the skin of my dentist's daughters teeth.
At that point college was not even a consideration. The last thing I wanted was more schooling! Besides, my zeal for the Lord made me eager to follow in my friend Ellis' footsteps and head for Hammonton and missionary life.
The DTS was three months long with two to three daily sessions of lectures by various pastors, staff members, YWAM leadership and other Christian teachers. Between the staff and students, there were probably 70-75 people who lived in community on the base that first year I was there.
After the DTS came the "practical application and ministry" phase where we learned to put into practice the things we had learned in the classroom, in our "flock groups," in our private prayer times and in corporate living. To that end, we piled onto school buses and drove all the way from the Pine Barrens of New Jersey to La Paz, Mexico at the very tip of the Baja Peninsula.
It wasn't total misery and "opportunities for growth." We stopped along the way we ministered in various churches and stayed in people's homes for a night or two until it was time to hit the road again armed with Spanish Bibles and the Spanish scripture choruses we had diligently learned to sing and strum on our guitars.
We set up camp and pitched tents just outside of La Paz, but seemingly in the middle of nowhere, and began various forms of ministry to the poverty stricken region.
There was a single concrete building where we held the evening worship and teaching sessions and which, along with your flash- light, was the only source of artificial light after dark.
I went for a walk by myself one night and followed a dirt path that led to a large concrete slab. I have no idea what purpose it served, but for some reason I decided to stop and have a seat and as I did, I tilted my head back and looked up into the ebony sky.
The weather was perfect and the night was as black as the velvet on sidewalk Elvis painting. Stars littered the heavens from one horizon to the other. The longer I looked the more my eyes adjusted and the more sparkling flecks of blue and white I could see.
My heart began to overflow with a deep sense of the awesome majesty of the great and mighty God of the universe, the King and Creator of all things. At that moment, my heart was so filled with a deep and fierce need to know God and to know He knew me that I jumped up, ran back to my tent, grabbed my Bible, bolted for the concrete building and with tears spilling down my cheeks, begged God to speak to me.
I was young, only 18, and I had only been a Christian about three years. I hadn't yet experienced God speaking directly to me through His word. But I was overcome by some unseen, inner compulsion for Him to do just that. I also was not very familiar with the Bible and had no idea where to start reading.
I flipped the book open and my eyes fell on this verse in Isaiah 40:26, "Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power not one of them is missing."
It is impossible to describe the profoundness of that moment. The great "I AM" the Ancient of Days, the God of Abraham and Isaac and Jacob, had just spoken to me as surely as if He were sitting right next to me in the flesh.
I was overwhelmed by the goodness of God, by His incredible love for me, by His omniscience, by the beauty of His living word and with His very presence.
I went out again to be by myself and bask in the richness of it all. His presence was such a deluge that I could only absorb it. I couldn't even respond with worship and praise though I longed to be able to. But all attempts seemed so puny and shallow in the face of such great love that I simply let my heart express the inexpres- sible praises that flowed from it in wave after wave of adoration and thanksgiving and awe.
To this day that remains one of my favorite memories and one of my favorite verses in Scripture. Because it stamped on my heart an assurance of the deeply profound and intimate love God has for all of His created beings, and for me personally.
"To God be the glory, great things He has done!" For you. For me. For the world.

Dreams Really Do Come True!

2009-07-28T11:38:00.001-07:00

As most of you know who have followed the saga of the publication of "The Rhyme and Reason Series" it has been a twenty year long journey.
I can still clearly recall the sleepless night in our Sherman, Texas, apartment when I was looking at a full moon that hung like a Chineese lantern outside the bay window in our bedroom. For some reason I held my hands up in the moonlight and said, "Lord, what do you want to do with these hands?" Mind you, I was plenty busy being a wife and mother to three small children, but there was a deep restlessness in my spirit and a conviction the Lord had even more in mind for me to do.
Most of you know the story. The instant the words left my mouth the Lord spoke five words that would set the trajectory of my life. He said, simply and clearly, "I want you to write."
Now I had read enough of the Bible at this point to know that God rarely fulfills His purposes quickly! The promises to Abraham, Moses and David spring immediatley to mind as being prime examples of folks who had been given a great and specific promise and then faced years of adversity before the word spoken to them had been fulfilled.
I have no idea why I thought it would be any different with me, but I guess I did because I jumped out of bed and grabbed my legal pad and the ridiculous rapidiograph pen I used to write with and ran downstairs to wait for God to tell me exactly what it was I was supposed to write.
We're so cute when we are sincere, aren't we?
As I sat waiting for inspiraiton to strike, I thought of a couple of things I needed at the grocery store and flipped the page to jot them down. Then flipped back to the first page and waited. I did this a few more times until finally the sun began to come up. The first page was blank, but I had written a grocery list.
But I never forgot those five words.
About ten years later, which was about ten years ago, my mother-in-law invited me to Bible Study Fellowship, a large Bible study she attended. I went and stayed for eight years until I finished all the studies they had to offer. The last day of class is called "Sharing Day," and it's a time when anyone who wants to can share--in three minutes or less--what impacted them during the course of the study.
The year we stidied Genesis I was laying awake on yet another sleepless night thinking of what I wanted to say to the women. Suddenly a rhyming couplet sprang to mind and it went like this, "This is the true story of how it all began, God was talking to Himself and came up with a plan." I kept running over and over in my mind and I couldn't get it to stop so I got up, went to the kitchen, got a piece of notebook paper, wrote it down and went back to bed.
Another line came, "In six short days when He shouted the command, up popped the stars, the trees, the seas and land." Again, I got up, walked to the kitchen, wrote it down under the other lines and went back to bed.
No sooner had I laid down when, "Now don't think He's finished with all that He has done, 'cause next come the people and the fun has just begun!"
Finally, I decided I'd just go ahead and write everything that came to me so I could try and get some sleep. But this time when the sun came up, I had summarized the entire book of Genesis in rhyme! Truth be told, I was pretty nervous about reading it because I was afraid people would think I was showing off and I was certain I would go over the three minute limit!
Anyway, I sped read it with trembling hands and an amazing thing happened. As soon as I finished the entire room full of over 300 women burst into spontaneous applause! I was both shocked and delighted. Afterward, dozens of them came up to me and asked if they could have a copy. This was in the dark days before e-mail, so I took their names and addresses, typed it up, made copies and sent it to everyone who had asked.
One of the women said, "Have you ever thought of making that into a children's book?" I just laughed and said I hadn't thought of any of it until three o'clock that morning!
But it planted a seed and I began to entertain the idea. And one day while I was praying, I heard the Lord say, "Why not write them all?"
I immediatley dismissed the idea as absurd and impossible. Why, from just a strictly practical standpoint I wouldn't live long enough to do a nine month Bible study on every one of its 66 books!
Still, I opened up my Bible to the table of contents and counted the books I thought might lend themselves to that format, even though I knew it was a ridiculous idea. Psalms and Proverbs were out, so was Song of Solomon and most of the epistles. Still, I counted 25-30 that I thought I might be able to do. Maybe. Possibly. Praobaby not. At least that was my attitude before I learned that when God has an idea, He also knows the way to make it happen.
I joined another Bible study and was going to two at a time. At the end of each year, I would put the book we studied to rhyme. I have seven of them done now, and three others I started before I got discouraged by the nearly impossible task of getting published.
I joined a writer's group and a critque group. I learned what a querry letter was and a "Christian Writer's Market" and sent thirty- five querry letters along with a copy of Genesis to every publisher I thought might possibly be interested.
I learned what a rejection letter was. Thirty- five times.
The search for an artist was one lost hope after another until I finally gave up and quit looking. I told God it looked like my kids were the ones who would fulfill the dream and I let go of it and tried to think of what else I was supposed to be doing for the Kingdom.
And then suddenly, everything began to fall into place!
I found the perfect prayed for artist right down the street in Broken Arrow! He did some pencil sketches and I had him make a mock-up of the book.
It's funny, because when I showed everyone the mock-up they would get all excited and ask me if I was excited. I wasn't. Because it didn't mean anything, really.
But the Lord had spoken to me at the first of this year and told me when He began to move, I'd better put on my seat belt! He was right. And I found out it's a good thing I have a shoulder strap too, because things are busting loose!
Here are just a few of the things that are going on:

Kerry, my publicist with Evergreen Press has a commitment from American Family Radio to interview me and is in the process of getting several other radio and television interviews arranged and set up.
The Daily Oklahoman and The Tulsa World both want to do a feature article right when the books come out in mid-October.
Last week I met with the pastor of the church I have been attending since the beginning of the year. The church is completly revamping their children's program and he wants to show Genesis and Matthew to the pastors over that department and see if they want to use the books in their curriculum.
My good friend Paula Carter and her husband serve on a board with James Dobson and she is going to send him copies of both books!
She is also hosting a dinner for me and inviting folks who give generously to The Scott Carter Foundation to see if any of them would be interested in contributing to "Rhyme and Reason Ministries International" and help to "get these books in people's hands, so people's hands will pick up the Book."
I completed an interview with Shirley Mears of "The Gospel Stations Network" which she broke into four 3-minute segments that are slated to air the third week in August. (If you are interested in listening to them, go to: www.thegospelstation.com and click on the Ministry Interview tab.)
There will be a downloadable read-aloud version of the book available on my website for a small fee and we are going to the studio to record in August. The woman who is doing it is fabulous and the background music she chose is the perfect touch!
My other publicist, Cyndy, is busy trying to promote both my speaking schedule and the books.

Everyone is excited about everything that is going on, but no one more than me! Now that it's really here and things are finally happening I am trying to enjoy every minute of the journey. I am living proof of the faithfulness of God.
I hope all of you reading this can draw courage and strength for whatever you have been waiting and hoping and praying for the Lord to do in you, for you and through you.
Just remember, He's never in a hurry, but He always comes through!

2009-07-27T15:16:00.000-07:00

A Life Worth Living

2009-07-24T14:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my husband sent me an e-mail notice that the father of one of the men he works with had passed away at the age of 92. It turns out this gentleman was a member of "The Board of Direct- ors," of the Daylight Donut shop in Owasso.
This is the same group of retirees my father-in-law gathers with every morning (and I do mean every morning) to cuss and discuss current events, relive past memories, give each other a hard time and, I suppose, on a deeper level, satisfy the deep and basic need every human being has for fellowship.
Jay's father told him that over half the people who attended this man's funeral were from the donut shop and mentioned that he was buried in his Daylight Donuts Shop ballcap. My father-in-law thought that was "nice." Jay found it sad. I thought was it darn near tragic.
Moments after I read that e-mail I opened up the morning paper and read of another death, that of Juanita Hardgrave at the age of 89, "who was honored as an Oklahoma Community Senior Citizen of the year in 2006 by Govenor Henry for her work with people in crisis."
Now let me make it perfectly clear that I never met either of these two people and don't know anything more about them than the facts just stated.
However, as I let my imagination speculate about these two very different individuals who lived almost the same number of years, I couldn't help but wonder how one had died with accolades and the other with a donut shop ball cap.
Regardless, it reinforced my detmination to beseech God to let my life count, and not for just anything, but to count for the Kingdom of God.
I was reminded of a semon by John Piper that Jacob had his father and me listen to where he rails against the tragedy and the mis- taken American notion of "retirement." As I recall, he actually says something about how God did not intend for us to spend our gold- en years playing golf and looking for shells on a beach.
Nothing wrong with those things in and of themselves, of couse, but they are not to become our next vocation after we've retired from our first.
We are called to serve God and our fellow man until the day we draw our last breath. I'm sure we have all heard it said that the word "retirement" is not found anywhere in the Bible, regardless of the translation.
That should give us pause. Or at least have us ask what's found in the Bible regarding what God tells us we should be doing in our golden years.
My Bible says, "Go and make disciples of all nations." (Mt. 28:19) There is not a single footnote, cross reference or qualifying verse that says, "Until you are between the ages of 62 and 65, or unless you opt for My early retirement package."
My Bible says, "Lift up your eyes, and look on the fields, for they are white for harvest." (Jn. 4:35) And then laments "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few." (Mt. 9:37)
Here's a random thought: What if all the able bodied Christians who have retired from the daily grind decided to make the Kingdom of God their focus rather than their leisure activities? What if they laid aside their golf clubs and knitting needles for a sickle?
And what if all those who weren't as able bodied, even the bedrid- den, understood what a powerful, eternal, Kingdom thing it would be to pray for those who were going and doing?
Can anyone but God calculate the impact on His Kingdom?
Just like all of you, no doubt, I long to hear my Lord and Savior say to me, "Well done good and faithful servant!"
Because I doubt very seriously anyone will hear Him say, "Hey! Nice shell collection!"

Hostility Toward Unbelief is a GOOD Thing!

2009-07-22T14:41:00.000-07:00

In what shall forevermore be referred to as "Lessons From the Dogs" the Lord continues to teach me about us and about Him by watching them.
The weather has been so unbelievably cool for July, especially in the mornings that I have been having my prayer times outside. Naturally I take the dogs with me. This means I have to walk around and pray in order to keep track of them at all times and see where they are breaching the wall, so to speak. It is a huge distraction to my prayers and I feel like I have to keep putting God on hold while I make sure I know where they are.
Here's what boggles the mind. They are obsessed with getting out! Hobbes particularly runs the entire perimeter of the yard looking, poking, pawing, trying to climb over or push his way under whatever is blocking his exit. At one point he almost climbed over the chicken wire we have stretched over the iron fence so I had to go get some of those plastic thingys that you thread through an eye and ratchet closed.
I immediately thought of the talk I give where I recount what the Lord says in the book of Proverbs about the state of the human heart. It is described in various verses as being, "wicked, cunning, perverse, deceitful, evil, unwashed, disloyal, straying, stubborn, dull, foolish, proud, crooked, raging, envious, destructive, heavy, hard and as a heart of madness."
Yikes! These are the words the King of all Creation uses to describe the crowning glory of His creation. If a medical doctor used similar terms to describe our physical hearts, it would, no doubt, be during an autopsy!
Now I don't want to take the dog analogy too far, because I know they aren't moral beings, and our dogs in particular aren't all that bright. (I figure you can't expect too much from anything with the brain the size of a walnut.) But still, it shocks me that they are so determined to leave the suitable confines of safety to venture into places of unknown dangers that could easily end in their painful and untimely demise.
So I was thinking about that this morning, but remember, I was praying too and I have been praying a lot about the additional provision I need to place a larger book order. And I started wondering where the devil began to create the idea in people's minds that instead of being our gracious heavenly Father who wants to meet every need, God is some angry old man with a club in one hand and a rule book in the other.
So I started thinking about who God says He is. He is a Spirit (John 4:24); who dwells in unapproachable light (1Tim. 6:16); who alone possesses immortality (same verse); whose throne is a chariot ablaze with flames, it's wheels burning fire (Dan.7:9) and around which proceed flashes of lightning and sounds and peals of thunder (Rev. 4:5); who has named all the stars (Isa. 40:26) yet sees every sparrow who falls (Matt. 10:29); who IS love (1 Jn. 4:8).
I thought about the angels who, right at this very moment, are declaring the holiness of God (Isa 6:3, Rev. 4:8). About how they never take a smoke break or ask for a vacation or sigh and look at their watches wondering when they can go home for the night. No! They have spent eons singing God's praise and they delight in the privilege of continually declaring His uniqueness and unending goodness! It's inconceivable!
That made me start thinking about how He redeemed us when He could have, and should have, annihilated us, and the many times He implores us over and over to trust Him, to believe Him, to rely on Him, to ask Him for all that we need.
I realized afresh how much He longs to prove Himself faithful, to pour out His love and power and provision and deliverance if we would simply look to Him and ask Him for it.
And then I laughed out loud at how stupid and ridiculous unbelief is! The evil one has blinded us to the truth!
God, our God, the great and mighty God of the universe who radiates shekinah glory, longs for us to ask Him for what we need.
Salvation? Done. Forgiveness? Sure. Provision? Coming. Protection? There. Understanding? No problem. Revelation? Listen. Wisdom? Ask. Emotional healing? Of course. Deliverance? Lay hands. Comfort? In abundance.
What does He say? "Ask and it shall be given to you." (Matt. 7:7, Jn. 14:13-14, Jn. 15:7 and 16).
I know, I hear you and I see you wagging your finger saying, "But remember, we have to ask according to His will..."
Right. I know that. Which of those things listed above are not His will?
Exactly.
God is taking me to new places of faith and trust in Him and it is an exciting journey. But I want you to join me because it is always more fun to go places with friends!
So let's change our thinking and begin to believe God for all the good things He longs to give to us, His precious children!
What are you waiting for? ASK!!

"The rest of the (dog saga) story."

2009-07-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

I find it utterly amazing and somewhat amusing that of all the inspirational, thought provoking, humorous, and insightful things I have posted on this blog--or at least that was my intent--by far the one that has gotten the most response is the one about the dogs!
All of you want to know what happened and have begged me to tell you the rest of the story. Well, beg no more. But the truth is, when that posted, I didn't yet know the rest of the story.
The dogs had been missing since 9:00 that morning. Jay and I had both driven around looking for them. Jay canvassed the neighbor- hood on foot, talking to many of our neighbors, including one old fart with whiskey on his breath who said, "Yeah, I see the little shits all the time. They are always getting out and getting into my yard. I went up to your house a couple of weeks ago and took my dog so your wife wouldn't think I was a pervert and told her they were getting out."
I remembered that encounter with the pervert and thought I'd found where they were escaping and secured the yard.
When it started getting dark and there was still no sign of them we drove around again. There was no sign of them anywhere and I told Jay to take me home. It was like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. Both of us were pretty frantic by this point.
We got ready for bed and Jay decided to look on Craigslist under the lost and found section. Sure enough, some woman had a post up saying she had seen two dogs of Callie and Hobbes' description on I-44! She and another woman had stopped to try and get them off the road. They got Hobbes, but they couldn't get Callie. No surprise there since the only person she will come to is me, and only then if I am sitting or laying down. Earlier in the day Jay kept saying he just knew they had gone into someones home, but I knew there was no way, since Callie won't even come into our home if she can see you near the door.
Jay called the woman and she told him the whole story about seeing them and stopping and trying to get them off the road. She said she'd taken Hobbes to the pound. So at least we knew he was safe, but this bit of news made me even more worried about Callie. I was sure she would be lost and frightened without Hobbes, wasn't sure she could find her way home, and was afraid she'd end up a slick spot on the highway.
I left the back door open a crack "just in case" and went to bed and cried and prayed for the Lord to keep her safe and help her find her way home.
It's just amazing to me how attached we humans get to our little pets. And I knew Hobbes would be heartbroken if he lost his little wife and the thought of that made me cry even harder. There was no way we could explain things to him!
Then, unbelievably, about 3:00 in the morning, Callie jumped into the bed with me! I couldn't believe it! I grabbed her and hugged her so hard she yipped and woke Jay up to tell him she was home, her feet wet, but none the worse for the ordeal. He couldn't believe it! "Oh, Praise God!" was all he could say.
The pound opened at noon and we left in time to be there when they unlocked the place. We took pictures of Hobbes, his outdated shot record and his collar. The drone at the front desk told us to sign in then go on "the dog side" and see if we could find him. I was shocked at how many pens there were. We separated and went up and down all the isles looking for Hobbes and calling his name. I finally spotted him and called to Jay.
Needless to say, Hobbes was beside himself and was yipping and jumping, wedging his nose through the fence and trying to stick his head through the space under the gate.
Jay told me to stay with the dog and he'd go pay his bail. It took forever, but he finally came back and asked for the checkbook.
I noticed that Hobbes' pen didn't have a padlock on it like the rest of them, so I lifted the latch and reached in and grabbed him then stood by the pen and waited for Jay.
A bit later one of the workers came by, looked at me, looked at Hobbes, looked at the gate tag, looked at the paperwork in his hand and said, "How did you get that dog out?" I explained that it didn't have a lock on it and I got him out so I could hold him. "That dog belongs to somebody," he blurted. "I know," I said, "He belongs to me!" I explained that it was my husband who was up at the front trying to do whatever needed to be done.
Finally, one rabies shot later, we were headed home.
"How much did it cost?" I asked.
"You aren't going to believe this! I got ready to write the check and the guy said, $275!"
Of course, twenty-seven years of marriage has convinced me there is NO WAY Jay would pay that kind of money to spring Hobbes. Heck, he probably wouldn't spend that kind of money to spring me!
I nearly drove off the road. "What on earth for?" I shouted.
"$150 fine for not having him neutered, $75 fine for being loose and $50 for a rabies shot. I tried to reason with the guy but he kept saying his hands were tied. I finally said, 'He's not neutered because we are trying to breed him.'"
Barney Fife didn't skip a beat. "There's no provision for that in the city."
Poor Jay! He was getting really exasperated yet trying to be respectful. Then, a revelation. He yelped, "He's sterile!"
Barney: "Can you prove it?"
"Look," Jay said, smiling through clenched teeth, no doubt. "We bought a female who we know can get pregnant because she'd had a litter before we bought her. She's been through four heat cycles and despite Hobbes' best efforts, he hasn't been able to impregnate her." (And we can all thank God in heaven for that, this blogger adds.)
Barney said he'd have to talk to his supervisor. He took three steps and peeked into a doorway. Out comes the supervisor and Jay repeats his sad tale of woe.
The guy says, "They're really cracking down on us. For all I know you work for the Mayor's office." Jay managed to stay in his skin and says, "Oh my gosh! You're kidding me! I work for American Airlines! I can prove it."
So, thinking he had the trump card, Jay said, "Fine, I'll just wait three days and come back and adopt him."
"Probably not," Barney chimed in, "You'd be second on the list."
(Okay, stop right here for a minute. Who could have possibly decided they wanted to "adopt" him between Friday evening and us getting there when the door opened on Saturday? Hmmm? Sound a little fishy to you too?)
Then, right before Jay reached his tipping point, he said, "Look, all I knew was that my dogs were playing in our yard, we couldn't find them and I checked Craigslist and some woman had posted that she'd found our dog and brought him to the pound."
This seemed to change everything. "We didn't pick him up?" the supervisor asked?
"No, some woman brought him in."
At that point, compassion raised its lovely head, the guy tore up the paperwork and redid it, only charging us the outrageous sum of $50 for the rabies shot, though by that time it looked to be a bargain.
On the way home Jay said, "It will be interesting to see what kind of impression this had on him." I can tell you exactly what kind of an impression it had on him.
The minute we put him in the yard he made a bee-line for the spot where he'd been getting out and tried to nudge the chicken wire up so he could slip out again. We looked at each other and shook our heads. Then we secured the fence.
It made me think again of what I'd said in the previous blog. We have a nice, safe yard, full of all kinds of bushes and tress--just right for peeing on; all kinds of rabbits and squirrels and birds to chase; even the occasional turtle or possum to bark at; a mailman and UPS guy they alert us about; fresh water; all the dog food they need; the occasional treat, etc. and all Hobbes does is whine and skulk around like a P.O.W.
I want to explain to him the dangers of 31st street one block to our north and of I-44 and the logical outcome of a collision between a one ton steel car and a six pound dog.
I want him to understand how much we love him and how heartbroken we would be if anything happened to him.
I want to tell him he owes us $50, and he's darn lucky he doesn't owe us $275, not to mention all new carpets and a more than a few pairs of shoes and jeans and underwear, but that I knew there was no way he could pay us so we'd will gladly let him off the hook. I want to beg him to just stay in our nice, safe yard where we can meet all of his needs and we can laugh at his antics and enjoy watching him and Callie run and play and tussle together.
And, of course, all I can think about is all the times I've left God's yard of protection and provision and wandered into unknown dangers. Of all the times He's rescued me from my own rebellion and stupidity. Of all that I owe Him that I will never be able to repay. Of all the times I've resisted His kindness, rejected His help, ignored His voice and His pleas to obey.
But I'll tell you one thing. I GET IT NOW in a way I didn't fully appreciate before. And it breaks my heart and floods me with overwhelming gratitude to our great and compassionate God all at the same time.

From The Quote Garden

2009-07-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

"I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating comsists mostly of building enough bookshelves." Anna Quindlen

Dog Lessons

2009-07-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

I have a serious love/hate relationship with our two Chihuahuas.
We bought Hobbes for Jessie as a Christmas present the year Jordan died and Jacob went off to college. She needed the company of something living and breathing, but I didn’t want to do it.
Before you jump to the conclusion that I am simply hard-hearted, you have to know that we had pretty much worked our way through an entire menagerie: fish, gerbils, hamsters, hedgehogs, rabbits, miniature pinchers, bull dogs, alley cats and Bengal cats.
I was done with a capital D. Or so I thought.
Jessie had her heart set on a tea-cup Chihuahua. I wasn’t about to give in. No way. But every time I prayed about what to get her for Christmas the Lord would say, “Get her the dog.”
Of course I soundly and loudly rebuked the devil nine times over and had a foot-stompin’ fit every time the thought entered my mind.
Why, it was ridiculous! Not only would she be leaving for college the next year, but I was DONE with animals, remember? I was not about to have her dog responsibilities become my dog responsibilities!
Still, every single time I prayed about what to do for Jessie for that awful Christmas the Lord would say, “Get her the dog.”
I finally gave in and shouted, “Fine! I’ll get her the damn dog!”
And so the search began. She wanted a fawn colored dog, but the minute we walked into the vet’s office in Chandler, Oklahoma, and I saw his teeny little one pound white self with black ears and two “wing” shaped spots on his upper back, I knew he was ours.
We left him with the vet until the day before Christmas, drove to Chandler to pick him up and I slept (or didn’t sleep) with his tiny, shivering body tucked in beside me in the bed. We put him in a box with the lid folded over, stuck a bow on top and walked down the hall to the living room so Jessie could “open” her present.
She squealed with delight, of course, and for a fleeting moment I felt like we had done the good and noble and right thing.
Then he refused to be house broken.
He ruined every carpet in the house.
And he chewed his way through countless pairs of jeans and underwear and shoes and…well…other things…
I hated him! But then he’d jump in my lap, wag his skinny tail, and look up at me like no human being ever has and I’d turn to pulp.
We bought Callie right before I left to spend a month in Thailand.
I knew enough about dogs to know they are pack animals and I didn’t want to leave Hobbes all day, every day, for a month and have to come home and put him on Prosac.
So the second great dog search began.
Of course if Jay was going to lay out any kind of money, he wanted to see a return on it, so we were looking for a female with the intent of providing the world with more Chihuahuas. You can thank me later.
Jay saw an ad a few days before I was scheduled to leave and we drove out to the doggie farm. They had two females, one black and white like Hobbes, who promptly started hissing at him like a menopausal cat, and a tiny fawn colored one who was scared to death of her own shadow.
“That’s just her ‘submissive’ posture” the woman who took our money told us.
It sounded reasonable. And besides, what the heck did we know about dog’s temperaments?
So we bought the darn thing at a discount and learned why she was such a bargain later. Her “submissive” posture is her constant posture.
She won’t come to anyone except me and only then when I am sitting or laying down. Three years later, she’s still the most skittish dog you have ever seen in your life. But you know what? I lover her! And so does Hobbes!
They romp and chase and play together so beautifully it makes me laugh out loud! They groom each other, sleep curled up together and look over one another like they are playing out Song of Solomon. It’s the sweetest thing I have ever seen!
When Callie can’t be found, Hobbes whines around the house like a rejected lover. It’s pitiful and I feel obligated to stop everything I am doing, find where she might be and relieve his distress.
So….imagine my distress when they both went missing for most of the day during the hottest part of the day!
It’s 104 degrees in the shade around here and they are wearing fur coats.
I jumped in my car and drove slowly around the neighborhood so many times I’m positive everyone thought I was casing their houses.
There was absolutely no sign anywhere of the little darlings and I started to get really upset (even while realizing I could take down all the kiddie-gates I had put up to keep them from peeing in various rooms in the house).
I knew they didn’t understand about 31^st street and how busy it is or about cars. And they had no understanding of leash laws or the dog catcher, and I knew they would be terrified if they were picked up and taken to the pound and I wouldn’t be there to pat and comfort them and bring them home.
I worried that they wouldn’t be able to find their way back to the house and that they were probably hot and tired and thirsty and miserable and there was nothing I could do about it as long as they were away from me.
And then I realized just how much it paralleled our situation with God.
He has given us a lovely “fenced yard” to play in with everything in it that we need and has promised to meet every need we have. But there are parameters we are asked to comply with for our own good. There are things about our design we might not have complete understanding about so we need to simply take God’s word about how He tells us to live and operate. And there are forces in the universe that are too strong for us to withstand if we get hit by them, that God wants to protect us from.
But in our ignorance and rebellion and foolishness, we wander outside those boundaries and no matter how much power and provision and protection is available to us from our heavenly Father within them, we will not be able to partake of any of it if we aren’t where we should be.
Fortunately God is more than a pet owner and He can find and heal and restore us so that we are able to see the benefits of the yard and learn that it’s better not to wander off. He instructs us and reminds us that being next to Him and depending on Him is the greatest, safest place we can be.
Now if I could just get Hobbes and Callie to understand the same thing about us!

Uhhh....Woops!

2009-07-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

Don't know if this made your papers or not, but the Tulsa World printed an article about a debit card problem of astonomical proportions. (My thoughts are in parnethesis.)
"A New Hampshire man says he swiped his debit card at a gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes and was charged over 23 quadrillion dollars. (If ever there was motivation to "kick the habit" this would have to be it.)
Joseph Muszynski said he checked his account on-line a few hours later (good thing) and saw the 17 digit number--$23,148,855,308,184,500--twenty three quadrillion, one hundred forty-eight trillion, eight hundred fifty-five billion, three hundred eight million, one hundred eighty four thousand, five hundred dollars. (How is this even possible? The federal government hasn't even figured out how to do that yet!)
Muszynski says he spent two hours on the phone with Bank of America trying to sort out the string of numbers (but here's the best part) and the $15 overdraft fee. (!!) The bank corrected the error."

Perspective shift, anyone?

2009-07-16T12:09:00.000-07:00

I need $20,000 by the end of this month in order to increase my personal book order for, "The Rhyme and Reason Series: Genesis" from 2,000 copies to 5,000.
There. I said it.
There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I can sell every single copy between the mid-October release date and Christmas.
Still, twenty thousand dollars seems like a lot of money. Probably because it is a lot of money.
So in my prayer time this morning I was sitting outside in the cool morning air, courtesy of a thunderstorm last night and having a conversation with the Lord about it. Reminding Him, as if I were negotiating with Him, that this whole thing was His idea to begin with, that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills and if our son asked us for bread would we give him a stone and how much greater does He love us, and all that faith-building gyrations I periodically put myself through thinking it will help when my faith needs a little boost.
Then an interesting thing happened. I quit blabbering and casually looked around. I heard the Lord ask me how many different varieties of trees and plants and flowers I thought there might be in just my yard. I counted well over fifty before I quit.
I heard a bird in a tree near me, saw a squirrel on the telephone line above me and watched a rabbit dart along the back fence and laughed as our two little chihuhuas gave futile chase and I heard the Lord ask me how many varietis of animals I though there might be on the planet.
That made me think of the first time we ever went snorkeling in Hawaii and when I put my face into the water, an entirely different and glorious world appeared before my startled eyes and I saw all kinds of vibrantly colored fish and coral and I heard the Lord ask me how many different kinds of sea life I thought there might be in all the oceans of the world.
I looked up and saw the dim outline of the moon in the morning sky and I remembered Psalm 147:7 and Isaiah 40:26 where God declares that He has named all the stars and I heard Him ask me if I could even fathom the number of stars in the galaxies and beyond.
I felt an itch on my arm and looked down to brush a bug off and then back up at the moon and I heard the Lord ask me how long I thought it took him to design an eye that could focus clearly and instantly on a bug close up and a moon thousands of miles away then to the raindrops on the leaves that were rustling in the breeze just above my head.
I was reminded of the astonishing photography one man took of snow flakes and I couldn't get over the infinite design, order and beauty of each and every one and it made me marvel that the Lord makes zillions of snow flakes in every snow fall and that no two are alike and then they are gone forever when the sun melts them away.
I remembered reading somewhere that there are over a thousand varieties just in the lily family and I heard the Lord ask me if I had any idea how many varieties of flowers He had made and how He had picked the colors they would come in.
And suddenly, I just knew. I knew the money would come. I didn't have to "manufacture" faith, the Lord just filled me with divine assurance as I reflected on the extravagance and beauty of His creation and basked in His presence and I understood all over again the truth of Hebrews 11:1. "Now faith is the evidence of things hoped for, the assurance of things not seen." And it made me laugh out loud at the silliness of ever fretting or being anxious about anything!

Continual Repentance

2009-07-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

Since I have nothing original to share with you today, but wanting to keep my new promise to myself to blog every day, I bring you a prayer from "The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. I often begin my morning prayer time with one of these because they often speak my heart more eloquently than I am able.
"O God of grace,
Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitue,
and hast imputed His righteousness to my soul,
clothing me with a bridegroom's robe,
decking me with jewels of holiness.
But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;
my confessions of wrong are so many aggrivations of sin;
my receiving of the Spirit is tincturned with selfishness.
I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,
no loom to weave my own righteousness;
I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
and by grace am always receiveing change of raiment,
for Thou dost always justify the ungodly;
I am always going into the far country,
and always returning home as a prodigal,
always saying, "Father, forgive me,"
and Thou art always bringing me the best robe.
Every morning let me wear it,
and every evening return it,
go out to the day's work in it,
be married in it,
be wound in death in it,
stand before the great white throne in it,
enter heaven in it shining as the sun.
Grant me never to lost sight of
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,
the exceeding glory of Christ,
the exceeding beauty of holiness,
the exceeding wonder of grace."
And all the people said, "AMEN!"

Iron and Wine

2009-07-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

If you like music (and who doesn't since God thought of it the same day He thought of sex...I'm pretty sure of it...) and powerful, moving, engaging music most of all, I would highly encourage you to buy both "Iron and Wine" CDs.
I keep them on replay and could listen to them all day long except it drives the others in the house crazy when I get on a merry-go- round that won't stop.
But this guy is good. Really good. He has poetic lyrics, mezmerizing melodies, and an across the board appeal for every- one from grandmothers to kindergarteners. Check them out and let me know what you think!

Publish Post

What a Ride!

2009-07-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I indulged myself by reading a book in one sitting, but such was the case yesterday with Logan and Noah Miller's book, "Either You're In of You're In The Way." It's the incredibl true story of identical twins who made a vow to their homeless, alcoholic father just before he died that they would make a movie about his life.
Just a few minor problems. They had never written a screen play, had no money, no equipment, no connections and no support. All they had was a promise that became a burning desire.
But as Dorothy sang, "Dreams really do come true."
By the time it was over, they had managed to write, produce, direct, and act in their movie and get four-time Academy Award-nominated Ed Harris to play their father.
They proved Anatole French's statement that, "To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but dream; not only plan but believe."
It inspired the heck out of me.

Book-love

2009-07-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

I love books. They comfort me. I read them, and afterwards they are my life-long friends. They take me places I have never been, introduce me to people I have never met, and inspire me with ideas I have never thought of. I know all of this has been said before in much more eloquent language, but always, regardless of the book or the genre, I learn and grow and think and my mind and imagination are stimulated.
I decorate with them because a room filled with overflowing bookcases creates a comfortable, inviting environment more effectively than anything else I can think of. Especially if there are a few strategically placed plants in the room.
And while new books, with their crackly spines and pristine pages, have an intoxicating smell all their own, an old book, with its faded cover and ear-marked pages is like a favorite friend around whom you are completely comfortable.
I was raised around books. Some of my earliest memories are of my mother sitting on one end of the blue hide-a-bed in the den, taking small sips from a tiny 6 oz. bottle of Coke in one hand and long drags from an L&M cigarette with her other. This was before a massive stroke stole her taste for Cokes and made reading laborious instead of relaxing.
A few years before I was born, my grandparents custom built a home in the tony Nichols Hills area of Oklahoma City. The long hall leading to the master bedroom had built-in, floor-to-ceiling bookshelves running the entire length on both sides. The shelves were deeper than normal and held two rows of books, one behind the other.
The back wall of the family room which was split by a doorway leading into the kitchen, had another set of floor-to-ceiling shelves and added to the hallway collection, they held thousands of books. My grandfather had read them all. This didn’t include all the books in his law office. I never understood how he had time to ply his trade. How he could do anything but read all day, every day, in order to have read all those books. He must have been one of Evelyn Woods’ first students.
I learned to love to read the summer I turned 14 and stayed a few weeks with them in their tiny cabin in Como, Colorado. It was filled with all the books that would otherwise have been homeless since I couldn’t imagine where there would have been room for them in the primary residence.
One day, bored out of my mind, and gazing at all the volumes stacked above me, I asked my grandfather to pick out a book he thought I might like. Without a moments hesitation he walked over to the shelf left of the window and pulled down “Harpo Speaks” by Harpo Marx. I had no idea who Harpo Marx was, but it was obvious he was long-winded. The book was massive. Up to this point, I had never read much more than the color-coded, timed, reading comprehension cards that I devoured in parochial school and a few easy to read mysteries. This was supposed to be a vacation.
I asked him for something else. Something shorter, maybe. He walked off in a huff. Since he was usually the most agreeable sort and I was already deeply entrenched in people pleasing, I needed to make up for my offense. I heaved a deep sigh, sat on the sofa, and opened the book. I had no idea how long it would take me to get to the last page, but there wasn’t much else for a 14 year-old girl in Como, Colorado, (population: 25) to do. So I read.
And an interesting thing happened that would repeat itself a thousand times over. I couldn’t put it down! I was riveted to every page! I read it at the dinner table. I read it until my eyes were tired and dry. I read it in the car when we went somewhere. I read it until I was too tired to keep reading and then I couldn’t wait to wake up and start reading it again. It was magical. I learned who the Marx brothers were. How they came to America. The dream of Vaudeville stardom that danced in their mother’s head. I learned about Vaudeville, about New York City in the 1900’s, about immigration, segregation, prejudice, poverty, dreams, show business, the early days of Hollywood and the names that were made famous there. More than once I would read a passage and laugh out loud. Oh my gosh, how I laughed! There were times I would laugh so hard I’d close the book with my finger between the pages so I wouldn’t lose my place and I would howl until my eyes spilled tears!
From then on, I was hooked.
When I moved to Wilmington, Delaware, where I lived with my aunt and uncle for three years, books again played a huge role in the family dynamics and discussions. I remember my Uncle Ned and cousin Bob reciting dialogue from “Catch-22” and laughing together with the same gusto with which I had laughed by myself in Colorado and I learned that a good book could be a shared experience.
Not surprisingly, my house is filled with books. I have read most of them and make inner vows to not buy any more until I have read all the ones that are waiting to be read, but it is a vow I can’t keep. They are my guilty pleasure.
It occurs to me that it should be no real surprise that I also write books. Books are my heritage and they will be my legacy.

Revelation 3:1 explained

2009-07-12T10:37:00.000-07:00

Alex Himaya, the pastor at The Church at Battle Creek where I have been attending for several months now, preached the first sermon of a seven week series. I found it very interesting and want to share with you what I got out of it.
I have always thought Revelation 3:1 where it makes reference to "the seven spirits of God" was a very curious verse. After all there is only one Holy Spirit, not seven, so I have never been able to satisfactorily understand what that verse really meant. Until today.
Alex explained that it refers to seven facets of God's personality, which are imparted to us, the crowning glory of all creation who are created in the image and likeness of God, in varying degrees, in what he called "the personality gifts" found in Romans 12:6-8.
They are prophecy, service, teaching, exhortation, giving, leadership and mercy. It hit me with a jolt that I hope didn't disturb those seated near me, that these seven "spirits" or "facets" of God's personality make us who we are and express God's own personality back to Him as we "fan into flames" the spiritual gifts He has given each of us "to the building up of the body of Christ." What a beautiful circle of expression, giving and service! Him to us, us to Him and then us to each other by the power of the Spirit!
Alex went on to explain that the personality gifts define who we are, while the ministry gifts (apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, teachers--Ephesians 4:11) define where we serve. God gives us these gifts then infuses us with His power, by His Spirit, so that we can operate in both our personality and ministry gifts for the benefit of all.
1 Corinthians 12:4-7 says, "Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are varieties of ministers, and the same Lord. And there are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons. But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good."
He also made the important point that our job is to define, discover, develop and display our gifts as good stewards of that which has been bestowed upon us by Him.
These become the fulfillment of Romans 12:1 where we are encouraged to "present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship."
Beautiful. Perfect. Satisfying. Just like God Himself.
Thank You, Jesus, for creating us in Your image and likeness, for bestowing on us facets of Your own personality, and for empowering us with Your Holy Spirit to reflect You back to You and to reflect You to others for Your glory and their edification.
As the song says, "You are beautiful beyond description, too marvelous for words." Truly. I stand in awe of You and bow before You in worship, thanksgiving and praise.

A blog a day....

2009-07-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

I have heard more than once recently that if you blog regularly you will raise your status in the various search engines. Apparently people who keep track of such things take notice of websites and blogs that have a lot of content.
So, in conjunction with my ongoing efforts to increase my speaking opportunites and do my part to stir the market for the release of "The Rhyme and Reason Series: Genesis" I am going to make the determinded effort to blog every day.
I have good intentions--I always have good intentions--but now I have sufficient motivation. We will see if that encourages me to be disciplined and consistent. Even at my most optomistic I would say it's a highly doubtful goal since self-discipline and consistency are continuous areas of growth for me, but maybe I will at least be more regular. It really doesn't matter if anyone reads the blog, which makes it seem a little silly if I end up only writing to myself, but I will make every effort to post something at least moderately interesting and thought provoking just in case any one decides to read it. I know several of you are faithful readers, and hopefully that number will grow as the previously stated objective is reached.
Naturally, I will also be using this forum to announce the progress of the series and any upcoming interviews or articles pertaining to the books.
To that end, I had an eventful Thursday! I drove to OKC and met with Shirley Mears, Director of Marketing and Outreach for "The Gospel Stations Network" and recorded an interview. It will be edited into three, three minute segments and each segment will air three times during the same week. Apparently they like that number.
I will have the electronic files to post on my website or send to people as a promotional piece and they will be kept in the station archives as well.
Afterward I met with a wonderful woman named Cyndy who is now my secondary publicist. The primary publicist will be Kerry Dierking of Evergreen Press, but it is going to be highly beneficial to have two since Cyndy has connections Kerry doesn't and vise versa. She was a mover and shaker in Hollywood before she left her high profile life and moved back to Oklahoma to be near her four grown daughters and all of her grandchildren.
That fact alone spoke volumes about her heart and her priorities and I knew I wanted her to help me promote both the books and my speaking schedule.
Fortunately for me, she agreed, and is very excited to be part of the adventure "from the very beginning" and I am thrilled to have someone of her caliber and ability on the team.
She gave me the contact information for a woman at "The Daily Oklahoman" who is excited to do the first feature article about the books. I called her and we have a meeting set up for the second week in August.
That made me think of Bill Sherman who writes for "The Tulsa World" and spoke for "The Fellowship of Christian Writers" while I was the chairman of the group. I called him and learned he is on vacation but expect him to return my call when he gets back.
And so, my faithful readers, that's it for today. God is moving, the books are going to press at the end of the month and there is finally an air of excitement to this journey!
I am SO glad you are taking it with me because it's no fun to travel by yourself!

"Shall we?"

2009-07-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

God is good. This we know. For the Bible tells us so. Right? It's true, of course, for those of us who believe and it will eventually be true even to those who don't.
But there is something so very heart-stopping when the generic becomes specific. When you see the goodness of the great God of the universe manifested to you personally without having to barter or beg or cajole. Not that it would work anyway, but the idea seems to always be there percolating in the back of our heads, doesn't it? Or maybe it's just me.
My reaction to these moments of divine reality on my behalf is to feel both flattery and disbelief. As if the cutest guy in the entire high school--the one every girl had a secret crush on--had just asked me to dance at our senior prom. The first impulse is to look over your shoulder and see whom he is actually asking.
But then you realize it really is you he is extending his hand toward, and suddenly you are Cinderella at the ball, dancing on a cloud as you are swept up into the rhythmeic movements of another more confident and experienced dancer. That's what today was like. Thank you, Jesus. Let's dance again soon.

Brave New World

2009-07-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm not quite sure at what point the average adult brain begins to find it difficult, no...impossible, to learn new things which, in the past, it would have been able to learn without effort. I have no idea when I crossed the imaginary boundry, but I did and unfortunately, I am now one of the people I could never imagine being when I watched my parents struggle to learn how to program their VCR.
My children become completely exasperated trying to teach me even the most basic computer skills. I don't blame them. I am exasperated myself. It just doesn't seem like it should be as hard as it seems to be. Even if I understand at the time how to do it, by the time I need to do it again I have forgotten how and we have to start all over again. Needless to say they get tired of this routine fairly quickly.
They work with the speed and ease of someone with innate knowledge. The other day Jacob was helping me do something and I just shook my head and said, "How do you know how to do that?" There must have been some midnight trianing sessions under the covers with a flashlight that I wasn't aware of.
In the effort to help market and promote "The Rhyme and Reason Series" my publicist told me the other day that I had to Twitter. "It's non-negotiable," she said.
I didn't even know what Twitter was until a couple of months ago and I swore on the spot I would never do something that seemed like just so much electronic clutter. I hate clutter. I am always getting rid of stuff so why would I want to add more to my life?
Besides, I am just getting used to Facebook and one big adjustment at a time at my age seems more than fair.
She wouldn't budge. "It's a tool," she said, "You have to take advantage of what people are using to communicate." Geeze, I thought. What's wrong with a good wall-mounted phone?
So now I Twitter. And I'm on Facebook. And I blog and e-mail and instead of feeling hip and cool and on the cutting edge, I just feel like I need a long nap.

06-04-09

2009-06-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

Teilhard de Chardin and Hellen Keller had at least one similar thought. The former said, "Do not forget that the value and interest of life is not so much to do conspicuous things...as to do ordinary things with the perception of their enormous value." The latter echoed that sentiment when she said, "I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble."
These quotes resonated deeply with me because I have to constantly fight the frustration over the glacial pace of the labor and delivery of "The Rhyme and Reason Series." It's like having Jordan all over again only longer and more agonizing. He was two weeks overdue and labor went on for days with the worst of it lasting a whopping 27 hours. Of course, it was worth it, and I would have told you that even at the time through clenched teeth and murmered profanity. What could possibly be of greater value than a new life of one created in the image and likeness of the eternal God? To give birth is a grand and glorious thing.
Now I'm faunching at the bit to give birth to a grand and glorious thing. There has never been a shred of doubt in my mind that this series has the potential to make a huge impact for the Kingdom of God. But these quotes do a marvelous job of reminding me that while that might very well be true, there is still the business of daily choices and living that impact me and those around me and will reverberate throughout eternity.
Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Our words count. Words of kindness, comfort, compassion, rebuke, correction or encouragement have tremendous impact and we are given multiple opportunities every day to speak a fitting word to a person in need.
James 1:27 makes a shocking statment. "This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the world." This is nothing but a reiteration of the Jesus' reply in Matthew 22: 39 when He tells the Pharisees what the two greatest commandments are. "And the second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"
I read that Scripture to a group of women I spoke to recently and I made the comment that if we really wanted to live our faith, we should find a single mother and mow her lawn or take her car to the mechanic and pay for the repairs or take her for a manicure and pedicure or buy pizza for the kids and take them to an amusement park for the afternoon. I was speaking to myself as well. I wonder how many opportunities for "random acts of kindness" I've been oblivious to because I have been too focused on "my call" or "my ministry" or "impacting the Kingdom."
It is with shame and chagrin that I realize what a load of crap that is. Ol' Theilard is right. So is Helen. So, of course, is God. I am fully convinced that mundane and inconspicuous acts of service are of greater value to God than me trying to do something great and noble for Him. I am fairly convinced that He can take care of Himself and His Kingdom.
I still think "The Rhyme and Reason Series" is of Him, by Him and for Him and that He has great plans for it. I'm just not going to be so focused on it that I can't iron my husband's polo shirts even though I don't think they need it or inconvenience myself to do a friend a favor or look for that single mom and give her a break--even for a day.

05-01-09

2009-05-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Faithful Readers,
I am delighted to announce the birth of "Rhyme and Reason Ministries International," a non-profit ministry dedicated to the purchase and distribution of a large number of books in "The Rhyme and Reason Series" through book signings, speaking engagements and other venues. This is in addition to what the bookstores will carry and sell. All profits from non-bookstore sales will go back into the ministy to produce the next two and then the next two and so on. We have visions of sugar plums dancing in our heads, as well as coloring books, CDs and short "Veggie Tale" style videos and whatever other creative means the Lord speaks to our hearts to do for His Kingdom and glory.
The entire goal of the ministry is to create a love for the Word of God in a fun and easy to understand format. I tell people to think of it as "Dr. Suess meets the Bible!"
The theme, scope, stories and heart of the Father in each book is revealed in rhyming couplets which takes the reader from the first chapter through the last.
For example, Genesis starts with creation and moves through the chronology and events of the book ending with Joseph bringing his father and brothers to Egypt to live with him and survive the famine plaguing the land.
The plan is to market one Old Testament book with its New Testament cousin. Genesis and Matthew, both books of beginnings, will come out together. Exodus and Acts, both books of going out, will be paired, and since you can't really understand the significance of Hebrews without Leviticus, or enjoy Leviticus without Hebrews, they will come out together. And so on, for as long as that coupling is feasible. I am hoping for somewhere between 25 and 30 books before the series is completed. So pray the Lord will grant me a long life!
So far as I know, there is nothing else like this on the market. Again, the hope and prayer of my heart is that young children (and adults!) will grasp the love of God in the content of each book well enough that they won't be too intimidated to pick up an actual Bible and read it for themselves, as many confess they are.
God promises that His Word does not return to Him void. He is in the business of drawing people to Himself and it is my fervent prayer that He will take this idea that came from His heart and use this series to accomplish His Kingdom purposes which are "above and beyond anything I could ask or think."
There is no power on earth that is greater than prayer, and no greater means through which the Spirit operates. Knowing this, I would ask you to pray and continue praying that God's perfect will be accomplished and that these books will impact untold lives for generations to come! That seems like a huge prayer to me, but we serve an infinite, creative, powerful God who longs to set captives free! I pray this will be one tool for accomplishing that purpose.
The goal is to "get the books in people's hands so people's hands pick up The Book!"

04-09-09

2009-04-09T20:18:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter everyone! And may it be as blessed and meaningful a holiday as you have ever celebrated.
Our King is alive! He rules and reigns from His heavenly throne where, having accomplished all He came to do, He is now seated at the right hand of God the Father!
To know God is to fall hopelessly in love with Him. My heart is filled with gratitude and longing. The older I get and the more I grow in the Lord, the easier it is for me to understand that eternity will not be long enough for us to express our gratitude and worship as we continue to serve Him in ways we can't begin to imagine.
ALL HAIL KING JESUS!

One more for the day

2009-03-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

I try not to be political on this blog, but this was e-mailed to me today and I felt compelled to post it. I am extremely concerned for our country, but daily I choose to keep my confidence in God.

And it came to pass... in the Age of Insanity that the people of the land called America , having lost their morals, their initiative, and their will to defend their liberties, chose as their Supreme Leader that person known as "The One."

He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no meaning; but He hypnotized the people telling them, "I am sent to save you. My lack of experience, my questionable ethics, my monstrous ego, and my association with evil doers are of no consequence. For I shall save you with Hope and Change. Go, therefore, and proclaim throughout the land that he who preceded me is evil, that he has defiled the nation, and that all he has built must be destroyed". And the people rejoiced. For even though they knew not what The One would do, He had promised that it was good; and they believed. And The One said "We live in the greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about it!" And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Change is good!"

Then He said, We are going to tax the rich fat-cats!
And the people said "Sock it to them!"

"and redistribute their wealth"
And the people said, "Show us the money!"

And then He said, "Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody"
And Joe the plumber asked, "Are you kidding me? You're going to steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??"
And The One ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal records were hacked and publicized.

One lone reporter asked, isn't that Marxist policy?"
And she was banished from the kingdom!

Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations experience and having zero military experience or knowledge, how will you deal with radical terrorists?"
And The One said, "Simple... I shall sit with them and talk with them and show them how nice we really are; and they will forget that they ever wanted to kill us all!"

And the people said, "Hallelujah!! We are safe at last, and we can beat our weapons into free cars for the people!" Then The One said, "I shall give 95% of you lower taxes".
And one, lone voice said, "40% of us don't pay ANY taxes.......
So The One said, "Then I shall give you some of the taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the people said, "Hallelujah!! Show us the money!"

Then The One said, "I shall tax your Capital Gains when you sell your homes!"
And the people yawned and the slumping housing market collapsed.

And He said, "I shall mandate employer- funded health care for EVERY worker and raise the minimum wage. And I shall give every person unlimited health care and medicine and transportation to the clinics."
And the people said,"Gimme some of that!"

Then he said, "I shall penalize employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the people said, "Where's my rebate check?"

Then The One said, "I shall bankrupt the coal industry and electricity rates will skyrocket!"
And the people said, "Coal is dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't care for that part about higher electric rates."

So The One said, "Not to worry. If your rebate isn't enough to cover your expenses, we shall bail you out. Just sign up with ACORN and your troubles are over!"

Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and slighted. Let's grant them amnesty, Social Security, free education, free lunches, free medical care, bi-lingual signs and guaranteed housing..."
And the people said,"Hallelujah!!" And they made him King!

And so it came to pass that employers, facing spiraling costs and ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and laid off workers. Others simply gave up and went out of business and the economy sank like unto a rock dropped from a cliff. The banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a crawl. And more of the people were without a means of support.

Then The One said, "I am the The One, The Messiah - and I'm here to save you! We shall just print more money so everyone will have enough!"

But our foreign trading partners said unto Him, "Wait a minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of camel dung! You will have to pay more..."
And the people said, "Wait a minute. That is unfair!!"
And the world said, "Neither are these other idiotic programs you have embraced. Lo, you have become a Socialist state and a second-rate power. Now you shall play by our rules!"

And the people cried out,"Alas, alas!! What have we done?"

But yea verily, it was too late. The people set upon The One and spat upon him and stoned him, and his name was dung. And the once mighty nation was no more; and the once proud people were without sustenance or shelter or hope. And the Change The One had given them was as like unto a poison that had destroyed them and like a whirlwind that consumed all that they had built. And the people beat their chests in despair and cried out in anguish, "Give us back our nation and our pride and our hope!!" But it was too late, and their homeland was no more. .

You may think this is a fairy tale, but it's not. It's happening RIGHT NOW!

03-28-09

2009-03-28T16:52:00.000-07:00

It started snowing this morning around 9:00 and it seemed like it was never going to stop. We have at least six inches out there. So much for globabl warming.
I don't particularly like the snow, but I love days like this because it means I can curl up with a good book, a hot cup of tea and no guilt over what I "aught" to be doing instead. I don't know why I need the weather to give me permission to relax, and there is always plenty to do inside, but I let it be my excuse to do what I want rather than what I should.
I love biographies. Especially Christian biographies. I find them incredibly inspiring. Jacob gave me "The Roots of Endurance: Invincible Perseverance in the Lives of John Newton, Charles Simeon and William Wilberforce" recently. It's the third in a series by John Piper where he highlights the lives of three men of faith. They aren't extensive biographies--others have written those--rather the books were born out of a series of messages Dr. Piper gave at the annual Bethlehem Conference for Pastors which he hosts every year.
The first two in the series, in case you are interested, are, "The Legacy of Sovereign Joy: God's triumphant grace in the lives of Augustine, Luther and Calvin" and "The Hidden Smile of God: The Fruit of Affliction in the Lives of John Bunyan, William Cowper and David Brainard.
Needless to say, they are immensely inspiring.
But I got no further than the introduction before bursting into sobs of heartfelt desperation to love God and cling to Him for divine help in enduring reverence and obedience.
This is John Piper's cry. It is mine as well. I hope it is yours.
"Let Your goodness, O God, bind my heart with a chain to You! Seal my will to Yours with an unbreakable application of Your eternal covenant. Keep me! Preserve me! Defeat every rising rebellion! Overcome every niggling doubt! Deliver from every destructive temptation! Nullify every fatal allurement! Expose every demonic deception! Tear down every arrogant arguement! Shape me! Incline me! Hold me! Master me! Do whatever You must do to keep me trusting You and fearing You 'till Jesus comes or calls." Amen.
Let my life be swallowed up in You. Keep me unto You. Make me to increasingly reflect You in all I do and say.

03-23-09

2009-03-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Last night Jay and I had the awesome privilege of watching and hearing Australian guitarist Tommy Emmanuel work his magic at the Tulsa Performing Arts Center. There is simply no way to describe how brilliant an innovative he is. (Check him out on YouTube.)
I have never seen or heard of anyone doing the things he did to get the instrument to erupt in such splendid sounds and bend to his will the way he did. The effect was mesmerizing. Even Jay, my predominately sports-minded husband was impressed. At one point he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "If this guy would practice a bit more, he could be really good."
But since I play the guitar like a dyslexic third-grader learning to read, all I could think about was how good he actually was and what it took for him to get to be the best ever.
Obviously the starting point had to be a God-given talent. But he didn't hold his talent up to God and ask Him to magically do something with it-- like I am so often guilty of doing. ("Oh God! You gave me this gift, now make something happen!") He practiced. Then he practiced some more. He practiced every day. He worked and honed his craft. For years.
I'm sure there were times when his fingers were sore and bleeding and yet he continued to practice. You can't watch someone like him and not realize that he had to have become obsessed with the instrument, with making a guitar do things no one had ever made one do before, with creatively experiment- ing with all sorts of ideas and things that were outside of the proverbial box. With participating in his gift.
Yet as he was playing and practicing and honing his skill, as he played in countless small venues, I'm sure he wondered when his big break would come. After all, shouldn't fame and fortune--or some kind of recognition and kudos--come to those with the talent and dedication of his caliber? Like an Olympic athlete he was someone who had sacrificed so many other things in order to be the best at one thing.
Man. It was all I could think about during the concert, on the drive home, as I fell asleep, when I woke up this morning and as I've gone through my day. Not the fame and fortune, mind you, but the sacrifice and dedication it takes to be the very best at something.
I kept asking myself what it is I want to be known for by those who know me. What I wanted to be known for being that good at doing. My claim to fame. My unique calling. And just as importantly --or maybe more so--I've had to ask myself what am I willing to sacrifice in order to see that greater goal reached?
Because the truth is, I just want it to be easy. I want God to smile His big God smile and have it all rain down on me like sugar-coated gumdrops at Easter.
I don't want to work and sweat and toil and hope and be disappointed and start all over again and be in despair and pray and pick myself up by my bootstraps and have things fall apart and pray some more and kick the devil and lean on my friends to keep my spirits up and cry and deal with frustrations as I watch the years roll by and...
Well, you get the idea. I don't particularly like anything about "hard."
But God has been serendipitously working lately to change my thinking. It is hard, and it takes a lot of work and dedication to reach our goals, even when He's in them. In some ways, that's the most surprising thing of all.
All I can say is, "OUCH. I still want the smile and the gumdrops." But I am learning that if we will take our God-given talents, lift them up to Him and be diligent and willing to do the hard work, He will open doors and make things happen and bless our efforts and teach us and love us and create the character of Christ in us in the process.
I still want to slap Eve when I get to heaven, but until then, I'm going to make every effort to use the gifts God has given me while asking Him to lead and bless my efforts.
If you do the same, maybe we can help each other accomplish the tasks He has set before us. And then we will have the joy of knowing God is smiling because we have been willing to succeed in not burying our talents and to be active and to persevere at what He created and called us to do.

02-20-09

2009-02-20T13:33:00.000-08:00

It's been an absolute delight having Jacob home these past several months since he graduated from college and has been waiting for the RUF internship interview. It occurred earlier this week in Dallas and he was approved on the spot. He is eager to follow God's leading as he moves into this next phase of his life, and is full of excitement and anticipation as he awaits his campus assignment in April. I am thrilled for him, of course, but I have also been preoccupied with the thought of how difficult it is going to be when he leaves again.
It's quite a different dynamic when your children are young adults and you have managed to successfully work yourself out of a job. I am enjoying it immensely. Jacob is zealous for the Lord and loves to read, so we have had some spirited and soul-satisfying conversations about God's character, the ups and downs of a life of faith, "rightly dividing the Word of truth" and how to live a practical, effective and balanced life as an apprentice of Jesus Christ.
This morning we were talking about an article a friend of his had read recently titled, "The Myth of the Extraordinary Christian."
The idea is that most of us tend to think there is such thing as a "super-Christian" and measure ourselves against that presumed and, I might add, arbitrary standard. The thinking is that the person who sacrifices his life as a missionary to China somehow operates at a higher calling or a deeper level of faith than the person who works a 40-hour a week job, attends church, and tithes to support that missionary or one like him. Or the person whom God blesses and enables to make great sums of money has again, a greater blessing from God than the person who barely scrapes by. The comparisons are endless and so is they grief they can cause.
But it's not true. We are all saved the same way--by grace. We all are delivered from the same thing--sin. We all have the same Savior--Jesus. We are all taught and led by the same source--the Holy Spirit. We are all destined for the same place--heaven.
Now it is certainly true that we have all been given different jobs to do and differing levels of responsibility. Both 1 Cor. 12:12 and following and the parable of the talents affirm this truth. Some are given more to do, some less; some jobs are more visible, some behind the scenes; some people are given more gifts and talents in order to get their job done, but that doesn't give them any greater standing or favor with God than the person whose job might require less.
We do ourselves (and I am speaking to myself here as much as anyone) a tremendous disservice by comparing ourselves to others in any way. It can suck the life-blood out of you faster than a ruptured jugular vein.
The truth is, we are all on a journey of faith, endeavoring, for the most part, to grow spiritually, to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling," to resolve recurring problems, to be led by God, to walk in greater obedience, to somehow develop the character of Christ while striving to fulfill our personal destiny so we can one day stand before our great God naked and unashamed.
Everyone who calls himself a Christian is doing these things to one degree or another on an ongoing but consistently inconsis- tent basis. And it looks different for all of us.
Some are doing it on the mission field. Some are doing it while raising a family. Some are doing it in affluance, some in poverty. Some are doing it while working a "regular" job and socking money into an IRA. Some are doing it with a king Midas touch and sowing mightily into the Kingdom. Most of us are doing it in the midst of the mundane and repetitious lives we lead.
Yet God is at work, "To will and to do (in us) according to His good pleasure." Billy Graham is no more of a super-Christian than a church secretary. Both are simply doing the job God called and equipped them to do while He is faithfully at work in them to make them more like Him.
We need to believe that. We need to give ourselves a break. We need to pray until we truly grasp the unconditional, non-com- petitive, all-encompassing, unilateral love of God.
We need to understand that we are all "in process" and anyone who looks like they are more spiritual or have it all together is either just a little further down the road we are all traveling or is just faking it better.

02-11-09

2009-02-11T14:45:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, huh? I apologize. My thanks to those of you who e-mailed me and asked if I was ever going to post another entry or let the site go to the great blog wasteland in cyberspace. I keep telling you this, but it really is very nice to know there are people out there who actually read this and get something out of it. All half dozen of you...
To tell you the truth, and I'm not joking, it's been so long since I posted that I actually forgot I had a blog! Someone recently said they assumed I was too consumed with what the Lord was doing in my life to post anything and understood that I had to take a break to attend to the business at hand. You have no idea how much I wish that were true.
Unfortunatly, the facts are much more dismal and fleshly than that.
The good news, you'll be happy to know, is that you missed my vitrolic party-pooper rantings about Christmas and my intentioinal lack of New Year's resolutions. By my own unscientific but probably very accurate calculations, only one person in a thousand actually sticks to a New Year's resolution long enough to see any results. Everyone else is depressed by mid-February and wondering what's wrong with them that they can't ever see anything through. So I did myself a huge favor several years ago and made a New Year's reslution to never make another New Year's resolution. Which, ironicllay, makes me the one in a thousand. The rest of you might as will go ahead and get your perscription for Prozac filled.
Seriously though, isn't it a huge relief that you don't have to "try" in the strong arm of the flesh to accomplish anything? Oh, sure, it might work for a while. But eventually even the most strong- willed among us will "become weary in well-doing."
My Bible tell me "It is for freedom that Chirst has set us free." That's a powerful statement worth meditating on.
(Side note: I was watching a PBS special on the brain last night and the doctor lecturing said that meditation, rather than slowing down your mental processes, actually heightens them! I makes you more energetic and better able to concentrate, set goals and complete tasks! You need look no further than the opening paragraphs to realize this is something I need to incorporate more fully into my life...but not in the flesh, of course...)
This freedom means if I have an area in my life that needs changing or a habit that needs to be added or subtracted from my life I don't have to "set my mind" or "steel my will" or "make every effort" in my own inferior strength. I simply need to present my need before the throne of grace and then "set my mind"and "make every effort" while relying on the power of the Spirit to work through me to accomplish the goal.
Granted, this can be a difficult tightrope to walk. We are often in danger of falling off on the side of trying and ultimatley failing in our own strength, or attempting to rely on the Lord to the point we expect Him to do it for us rather than enabling us to do it with His help.
Two verses that beautifully illustrate the tension of our efforts coupled with God's empowering grace are 1 Cor. 15:10 and Phil. 2:12-13. The first says:
"But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace toward me did not prove vain; but I labored even more than all of them, yet not I, but the grace of God in me."
And: "So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
The upshot of all of this is that we both have our part to play. Our job is to rely on the power of God. God's is to fill us with that power which then enables us to make the choices we need and want to make and move forward in victory.
I really didn't mean to get off on all that! But I have to get dinner on so I am going to leave it. I will try to post again tomorrow and let you know what the news is in my world.
Let me hear from you!

12-10-08

2008-12-10T16:58:00.001-08:00

Thank you to all of you who responded to yesterdays post. It really helps to know you actually read and enjoy this blog and are encouraged or challenged by the words I peck out and the thoughts I string together. If no one is reading it, there is no point. I mean, seriously, I already know what I think so I don't need to post it for my own benefit. Your kind comments and sincere encouragement provide the energy I need to do it again.
Okay boys and girls. We are going to pick up our lesson where we left off yesterday. There is more to say about this confusing doctrine of the impassibility of God. I just don't understand why people have to complicate things.
I understand wanting to defend God's reputation. I do it myself, and while I'm sure He finds it endearing and mildly amusing, He is certainly able to take care of Himself.
I understand wanting to ensure God is accurately perceived as perfect, lacking in nothing. Because, of course, He is.
What I don't understand is why some very distinguished, educated and brilliant men have come to the conclusion that if God suffers--if He experiences anything like what we experience almost every day to some degree--He wouldn't be perfect.
Now I know that all of our suffering is a direct result of the fall of mankind, and that God didn't fall. And I know that sin causes suffering and God doesn't sin. So maybe these guys are just a bit confused. I am really not trying to be sarcastic or arrogant. I certainly don't have a monopoly on truth. Just a couple of houses on States Avenue and St. Charles Place and a rather uncomplicated view of Scripture.
When I read my Bible and I have this tendency to take it at face value. If it says something specific I tend to believe it means that specific thing. Especially when the concept is constantly repeated in different ways so we will get it.
And for the life of me I can't find anywhere in Scripture where it says God doesn't suffer. In fact, I find it screaming the exact opposite over and over again.
For example, in Hebrew 4:15 we read, "For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin."
Again in 5:8 we read, "...although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." Seems pretty clear to me.
Lest there are those who would argue that perhaps God incarnate, living as a man could suffer, but God in heaven can't, we need look no further that the verses in Genesis 6:5-6 which were referenced yesterday.
And let's not forget that if you can suffer you can also rejoice. Scripture is very clear that all of heaven rejoices over a single sinner who repents. Could it even be possible for all of heaven to be rejoicing while God is sitting there impassively? Is He filing His nails and yawning? No! He is, I'm sure, leading the celebration! After all, it's His idea, His sacrifice, His blood that made it possible. Wouldn't you think He'd be a wee bit emotionally involved?
One of the constant comparisons God makes in Scripture is how we respond to our children. I have run the gamut with mine: anger, exasperation, joy unspeakable, frustration, satisfaction, concern, disappointment, relief, grief, fulfillment, and the list goes on and on, just as I'm sure you have too, or will.
How could it possibly be any different with God? Although He is unchangeable in His steadfast love, in His character, in His desire that all would come to a knowledge of the truth, in all that is truly unchangeable, His emotions appear to change drastically as He interacts with those whom He has made like Him.
Like everything else in the Kingdom of God, we are presented with a paradox. Just because God is infinite, mind-boggling and incomprehensible on one level, doesn't mean He is unable to be comprehended on any level. It couldn't, or He wouldn't have attempted to communicate with us. But communicate He did, and I, for one, believe He means exactly what He says.

12-09-08

2008-12-09T14:57:00.000-08:00

The doctrine of the impassibility of God teaches that the God of the Bible is a perfect being and, as such, He cannot suffer. In other words, since God is perfect in every way, He can't be emotionally affected by outside events and thus cannot suffer, because suffering, somehow, is perceived as a sign of imperfection. I'm not quite sure why one must necessarily mean the other, but apparently in greater minds than mine, it does.
It always makes me uncomfortable to disagree with wise and intellectually minded men, because under that list the box I would have to check would be "None of the above."
Yet when I read these types of things, instead of nodding my head in amazement at their brilliance, I am often left shaking my head and wondering how well acquainted these pontificators are with the God they so decisively define.
I suppose we all, to one degree or another, read the Scriptures through the lenses of those who indoctrinated us. For example, I learned (and later discarded) the philosophy of Calvinism through the Presbyterian church I attended as a child.
I often wonder how someone would interpret the Bible who came to Christ as an adult, without any preconceptions-- someone who had never been churched--but who'd had a genuine and life-changing experience with Christ and then sat down and started reading through the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.
Because when I read the Bible, I am confronted at every turn with the suffering of God beginning in, what for me, has to be the single most tragic verse in all of Scripture. In Genesis 6:5-6, in the aftermath of the horrific fall of Adam and Eve, we read, "Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and was grieved in His heart."
How on earth can a reasonable person find impassibility in that verse? And that's just in the first part of Genesis! What kind of mental gymnastics do you have to do to make "better" sense of what is said than what is actually being said?
And I know people explain away a lot of those types of verses as being anthropomorphic, or in less fancy talk, as the Bible needing to apply human characteristics to God so we mere mortals can get a tiny grip on Him.
But from Genesis 6 on, Scripture is full of passages that reveal the pain God experiences as a direct result of the sin and disobedience of His people.
The God of the Old Testament is a God who chooses to identify with the suffering of His people. He tells us in Exodus 3:7, "I have seen surely seen the affliction of My people who are in Egypt, and have given heed to their cry because of their taskmasters, for I am aware of their suffering." He goes on in verse nine to say, "And now, behold, the cry of the sons of Israel has come to Me; furthermore, I have seen the oppression with which the Egyptians are oppressing them."
Now it could be argued, I suppose, that the words "seen, heed and aware" don't necessarily convey direct emotional involvement, or shared emotional responses, but why else would He have rescued them?
If I see your house burning to the ground and you waving for help from a second story window, it is not my sense of duty or obligation that moves me into action. Rather it is an overwhelming sense of distress and compassion and desire for you to live and not die that compels me to risk my own life to save yours.
In the New Testament we see God, in the person of Christ, suffering on our behalf in much the same way. In the OT, God suffers with His people. In the NT, He suffers for them. Yet in both cases, the everlasting God is suffering with us and because of us.
To me, the idea that God can't be perfect if He experiences suffering is missing the mark. Certainly He is perfect. His character is changeless and His motive is always agape. But one doesn't necessarily cancel out the other.
And I need to know God suffers. Otherwise, how can I be sure that He can identify with me in my suffering? I don't want a God who is disconnected from my experiences and can't relate except in theory. I want a God in whose image I am created, who empathises with my suffering because He has suffered more than any human being ever will.
I posess mind, will and emotions and if I am created in His image then it only makes sense that God posesses them too. While there are things about God that aren't like me, there is nothing about me that doesn't reflect Him. I'm thinking mind, will and emotions here.
A lot of you have heard me tell you this story, but it is such a beautiful illustration of my point that I'm going to share it again.
The Monday after we buried Jordan on the previous Wednesday, when all the out of town company was gone, Jay was back at work, Jacob was back at OU and Jessie was back in school, I was alone in my living room crying inconsolably.
I was sobbing so hard I couldn't catch my breath and was sure I was about to drown in my own snot and tears.
Finally, after I'd gulped in a deep breath, I wailed, "OH GOD! I'VE BURIED MY SON! I'VE BURIED MY SON!"
His response was instantaneous. He whispered to me and said, "I know. I buried Mine too." And at that instant I knew, I knew, that God understood my suffering and loss in a way that few others could. It wasn't theoretical or sympathetic. It was a shared experience. And in that moment, my broken heart began to slowly heal.

11-28-08

2008-11-28T16:49:00.000-08:00

I'm not much for ushering in the holidays. They seem to manage to come all on their own. But I've been asked to speak a couple of times during the coming Christmas season, and it occurred to me some insight into the gifts of the Magi might be appropriate.
What you are about to read is the talk I've put together. Just pretend I am talking to you, which I am, of course, except that I can't see you and am not always sure who you are...
Regardless, I hope you enjoy it, and if you think of it, you might offer up a quick prayer that this will provide new indights with practical application to those whom I have the delightful privilege of speaking. May it do the same for you.

Most of the time when the subject of the “wise men” or “Magi” comes up the attention is on the composition and phenomenon of the magnificent star they saw or speculation about who they were and where they came from.
But I want to focus on the practical and spiritual significance of the gifts they brought. Interestingly, the Bible doesn’t actually tell us how many of these kings from distant lands came to honor the greatest King of all, but because our nativity scenes and Christmas carols all speak of three kings, most of us have been conditioned to think of that number! This is probably because, regardless of how many there actually were, we are told of three specific gifts they came bearing.
Most of us also assume that the gifts came in little boxes, but again, there is no record of the quantities of the offerings they brought.
Now if we correctly assume that not a single detail in the Bible is there by accident or without meaning, we won’t waste time on the details that don’t matter and can shift our attention to the ones that matter enough for God to have been very specific about them. He wasn’t specific about where the kings came from, who they were, how many there were or the quantities of the gifts. But He was very specific about what the gifts were so lets think for a moment about what they might represent and whether they might have any significance for us today.
On the most basic level, they brought items from their homelands which were of the greatest worth. All of the items were rare, precious and expensive.
Whatever else we might learn from this story, we know they came to honor the One they believed to be the King, the Messiah, and they gave the very best of what they had.
The Queen of Sheba was another visitor to Israel, who came to meet with Solomon as we read in 1 Kings 10:2, “So she came to Jerusalem with a very large retinue, with camels carrying spices and very much gold…” The Magi did the same, being spiritually aware, as it says in Matthew 10:42, “One greater than Solomon is here.”
They gave items which were found and valued in the region they lived in. Likewise, the Lord invites us to give Him what is available to us.
They offered the gifts as an act of worship. When the Messiah was still just a helpless baby, before He could speak a single word or perform a single miracle, “they fell down and worshipped Him.” (Matthew 2:11)
In both the Old Testament tabernacle and later the temple, gold was used extensively throughout showing both its value and its use in worship. The fact that Gentile kings would offer such worship had prophetic significance. We read in Psalm 72:10, “The kings of Tarshish and of the isles will bring presents; The kings of Sheba and Seba will offer gifts. Yes, all kings shall fall down before Him; All nations shall serve Him.” And again in Isaiah 60:6 we read, “All those from Sheba shall come; The shall bring gold and incense; And they shall proclaim the praises of the Lord.”
Together they represent the three roles of the Messiah. Gold is representative of His Kingship. Frankincense represents His divinity and myrrh His manhood--being in a human body and subject to suffering and death.
We can also clearly see God’s providential and practical provision for Joseph, Mary and Jesus as the gifts provided the means to sustain them during a long and expensive journey into Egypt where they would remain for quite some time.

Let’s take a closer look at each of the gifts.
Gold has been a precious metal holding extremely high value from as long ago as 2,500 B.C. It has always been, and still is, especially prized as a medium of exchange.
It is scarce, and most things that are difficult to come by or are labor intensive, from pearls to raspberries, are expensive.
It is universally thought of as beautiful and is the preferred setting for gems on all spectrums of the price scale.
Gold is enduring. It can withstand all natural acids and even fire. In a wedding ceremony it becomes the symbol of a marriage that will hopefully endure the test of time, difficulties, disagreements, disappointments, illness, and bereavement.
It also speaks of God Himself who tells us in various Scriptures that His love, mercy, righteousness and Word endure forever.
Gold is adaptable for shaping and easily alloys with other metals. It’s soft enough to be molded but can be combined with other metals to provide even greater strength.
It is interesting that even gold, with all its beauty and qualities, becomes a better product when it works with others.
Wouldn’t it be better for us to want to be more like gold, rather than to want more gold? Think of humility, compassion, adaptability, selflessness, a servant’s heart and other admirable qualities. To be sure, a person who possesses and is increasing in these qualities is rare and beautiful indeed!
When the Magi presented gold to the Christ child, they were honoring Him with the very best they had and were recognizing that Jesus was King.
For me the most intriguing aspect of this first gift is that it is able to survive fire!
The Apostle Paul uses this analogy in 1 Corinthians 3:11-13 regarding Christian works. “For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man builds on the foundation with gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, straw, each man’s work will become evident; for the Day will show it; because it will be revealed with fire and the fire itself (God’s discerning judgment) will test the quality of each man’s work."
In chapter 1:6-7 of Peter’s first epistle, he takes a bit of a different slant when he points out that there is something which, like gold, is refined by fire, but unlike gold, never perishes. “In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”
In other words, just like gold is proven to be gold by enduring fire without losing anything of its nature, weight, color or other properties, so also our faith is proven genuine by the adversities and trials we endure through faith.
“Yet even gold, in process of time, will wear away by continual use; and the earth and all its works, will be burned up by the supernatural fire whose action nothing can resist. But on that day the faith of Christ’s followers will be found brighter and more glorious. The earth, and universal nature, shall be dissolved; but he who does the will of God shall abide forever, and his faith shall then be found to the praise of God’s grace, the honor of Christ, and the glory and glorification of his own soul throughout eternity. God Himself will praise such faith, angels and men will hold it in honor, and Christ will crown it with glory.” Wow! That’s good stuff, isn’t it?! I wish I knew who said it...
Peter points out that there is something more valuable than gold and that is the process of our faith being tested and strengthened through the trials, adversities, and hardships of life which test and strengthen our faith which will hold us through eternity.
This is exactly why James can boldly and confidently tell us to “Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
If we truly understood God’s purposes, we would rejoice in our trials rather than simply enduring them or trying to pray our way out of them! Notice that faith grow and bears fruit, unlike gold, which as enduring as it is, will someday perish.

The second gift of the Magi was frankincense which is a very expensive and fragrant gum distilled from a tree that is found in Persia, India, Arabia and the East Indies. It’s actually a white resin, or gum, that you get by slitting the bark of an “Arbor Thurisfrom” tree which allows the gum to flow out. The word actually means “whiteness” because that’s the color of the juice which flows out of the wound in the tree. The gum is allowed to harden for three months and is scraped off at the end of the summer and sold in clumps or “tears” of the hardened resin.
It is intensely fragrant when it is burned and was used in worship where it was burned as a pleasant offering to God as we read in various verses in Exodus and Leviticus.
It was also used as a medicine and as perfume, but the lesson we can take from frankincense is that our worship should be pleasing to the Lord.
I find it very analogous that this sweet smelling resin comes as a result of a wound to the tree. When we can worship God in the midst of our sorrow and suffering, then our worship becomes a fragrant aroma before the Lord.
While joyful worship is also pleasing to God, our tears, like frankincense resin, oozing out of our hurts and broken hearts, and especially our tears of repentance, are a sweet-smelling sacrifice to the Lord.
Anyone can dance and sing when they are happy and everything is going their way, but true worship takes place when we must overcome feelings of disappointment, doubt, fear and self-pity.
I find it interesting that God wants a “sweet-smelling sacrifice.” Do you really think He cares what it smells like? As with everything else, God is interested in the condition of our hearts when we pray and worship Him. And it is when we come to Him with a sweetness in our spirit, rather than a sense of duty, or bitterness because things haven’t turned out like we thought they would, that He is most pleased.

The last gift of the Magi was myrrh. Myrrh, like frankincense, is a gum resin that is produced from balsamodendrom myrrha tree that grows in Arabia and Ethiopia and is gotten, like frankincense, by wounding the tree. This tree can get up to ten feet high and is thorny.
When myrrh oozes from the slit in the tree is a pale yellow color, but as it hardens it changes to dark red, which represents, to me, the blood of Christ shed for my sins.
Myrrh is as bitter as frankincense is sweet. Its name was actually given to it because of its extreme bitterness. The Hebrew word is similar to the waters that were bitter when Moses and the people were coming out of Egypt in Exodus 15:23. “And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah.”
It is also what Naomi says to her daughter-in-law in Ruth 1:20. “Call me Mara, for the Lord has dealt very bitterly with me.”
Its primary use was for embalming the dead because it preserved the body from putrefaction. It was an ingredient of the holy ointment and was a favorite perfume in the ancient world. It is said to keep its fragrance for several hundred years if it is kept in an alabaster pot.
Myrrh also has medicinal qualities and was sometimes mixed with wine to make a antistatic like the drink offered to Jesus when He was being crucified.
Myrrh is brought as a gift to acknowledge the human suffering Jesus endured when He humbled Himself to enter His own creation and bore the sins of the world.
Why did He refuse the drink? Because He had already submitted to the will of His Father and drunk the bitter cup of His suffering.

Today, we can offer the spiritual equivalent of these same gifts to Jesus. We bring gold when we honor Him as King and yield to the purification process of fiery trials.
We bring frankincense when we worship Him in the midst of our brokenness.
We bring myrrh when we recognize that He identifies with us in our pain and sorrow.

“So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.” (Hosea 6:3a)

11-23-08

2008-11-23T17:28:00.000-08:00

I've had two opportunities to serve the Lord this week. Well, more than that, truth be told, but two that stand out in my mind.
Last Tuesday I had the privilege of speaking to "The Women of St. James." This is the women's ministry of a local church which is, presumably, like a hundred thousand others across the country. There were maybe thirty or so women in attendance but it really didn't matter to me if there were three or three thousand. On the one hand, truth be told, I'm always hoping for a crowd. But on the other, truth be told, I am just thankful for the opportunity. And really (and I believe this) it's not about the number who show up, but the number who God draws and whose hearts He touches through the words He puts in my mouth.
They had this big poster just inside the door with my picture on it announcing the event and the title of my message, which I had forgotten, so spoke about something completely different...
The poster was quite a lovely shock! They gave it to me to take home, which seemed a bit hilarious. I mean, who has a poster of themselves in their house? I told Jay I was going to hang it over our bed! He told me he was going to draw a mustache on it....
The trash men are picking it up tomorrow morning along with the eggs shells and banana peels and the rest of the garbage.
But man, it was so much fun to feel important! I always feel most "in my element" when I am standing in front of a group of women with a microphone in my hand and sharing with a passion that can only come from the heart of God.
I prayed numerous times over the event and for the women who would come. And I preached my little heart out! The good news is that God showed up and the women responded. There was tremendous positive feedback which I hope will translate into an altered and elevated view of God and suffering and take them to deeper reliance on Him.
Then today I had another opportunity to serve. I worked in the infant nursery in our church, as I do when there is a fifth Sunday in the month.
I'll just go ahead and tell you the truth: It's not my favorite thing. Unlike Jesus, I have never been one to call all the children unto me.
I am not involved with most of them or with their parents as Jay and I have, by the miracle of just staying alive, navigated our way out of that particular time in our lives. So I don't know the parents of these kids beyond going to the same church and am not invested in their lives outside of church.
Even more to the point, I don't like slimy green boogers, stinky poopy diapers, crying kids who can't explain why they are crying, reading alphabet books or the annoying noise of the latest Fisher Price toy.
But I started realizing that all that stuff delights God. And I was thinking that His word is true and that, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first," and "Whoever wants to be the greatest in the Kingdom must be the servant of all," and "As you have done to the least you have done to Me."
And I wondered if God wasn't more delighted with my nursery duty than He was with my "speaking engagement." I can certainly tell you which one I enjoyed more, and I can promise you it didn't have anything to do with changing stinky diapers!
Both are necessary, of course. And thankfully, He has me doing both. There is nothing wrong with, "Giving a word in season," and I love the opportunity to do so. But more often it is being kind to strangers, or the downtrodden, or the marginalized that God expects and honors and that will no doubt be the weighty jewels in our crowns of glory which we will lay at His feet one day.
That said, I hope we will all take advantage of every opportunity the Lord gives us to serve in whatever capacity it might be. And that we (read:I) can do so with an eye toward Kingdom values rather than earthly ones.

11-20-08

2008-11-20T16:46:00.000-08:00

My dear few but faithful readers. I apologize. I've been gone. I didn't mean to be gone so long. It wasn't premeditated. You didn't offend me. Only government workers can do that.
And no one knows better than me that if it's true the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I am well on my way. It seems that once I make a decision like, "I think I'll post on my blog consistently," it creates some sort of intense internal pressure and I end up sabotaging myself by doing the exact opposite.
I'm quite sure this is all part of the fall and I continue to blame Eve for most of the things that are inconsistent with life as God originally intended it.
The problem now is that I've been gone so long I'm not sure where to start recapping. Should I tell you about the nearly four week stay with my friends Gayle and Jimmie out in beautiful Manford, Oklahoma building health and enjoying time alone, time with God and time with them?
About the week I spent in Asheville, North Carolina, helping to care for my cousin's wife who was recovering from a hysterectomy due to a diagnosis of cervical cancer?
A brief discourse on the great book I am reading titled, "The Divine Conspiracy" by Dallas Willard?
Or the one I just finished about heaven titled, who'd have guessed, "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn? It's supposed to be controversial, though I didn't know that before I read it and for the life of me, after having read it, I can't figure out why. It's nothing but Scripture...
And when you have one you love with all your heart in heaven, and knowing we who love the Lord will wind up there, it can be both exciting and a healing balm to read about it, think about it, meditate on it and imagine it.
Or shall I tell you what Jacob and Jessie are up to? Okay, I will. He is checking out seminaries and she is a junior at OU. Neither are dating and I keep thinking I am ready for that phase of my life and the addition to our family. They don't seem to take that into consideration...
The election and all the thoughts it generated before, during and after? Nah. Forget it. I'd be typing for a year and by that time, there would be more to type.
So maybe I'll just start again by copying part of a letter Jacob wrote to a friend listing all that he was thankful for. It seems marvelously appropriate given the time of year we have arrived at once again.
With his permission, we begin: Salvation through Jesus, being made human and not a bunny or a rock, or not at all; God's condescension to give us knowledge of Himself; weather; colors; food; music; friends; the church; God living inside us; the hope of heaven; the Lord's patience between my first sin and salvation; His patience with me now as I learn...slowly; flight benefits through my dad's job; enough money; having never gone hungry; laughter; the Bible; capacity to feel; redemption as a plan for man but not angels; technology; religious and other freedoms; love; imagination; memory; culture; language; ethnic diversity; spiritual gifts; God's love gift of Christ; Jesus' perfect moral example; the cross; joy; rest in God's wisdom and control; family; marriage; sex; children; intimacy with God; good books' movies; flowers; the ocean; space travel; a college education; physical and mental well-being; animals; prayer; pets; work; the Trinity; being used as an ambassador of the Gospel; salvation being apart from works; the rationality of Christianity; the seasons; stars; the five senses; the intricate complexity of the human body; dominion over earth; the expectation of future sinlessness; creativity; singing.
To that basic list I would add: God's incomprehensible greatness as expressed by the fact that He tells us twice in Scripture that He has named all the stars; every creative expression of mankind from ballet to rap to poetry to painting to theater to you name it that reflects an aspect of our Creator; atoms; quasars; jewels; the exquisite green mountainous bumps that rise out of the turquoise sea off Phi-Phi Island; my husband; my children; my country; my assurance that Jordan is with Him now and I will be with Him one day as well; fillet mignon; lobster and drawn butter; the fact that I have tasted both more than once; taste buds; the endless variety of flavors, food, colors, texture, pattern, faces, personalities, musical instruments and style; a sense of humor; that "eye has not seen, nor ear heard all that He has planned for those who love Him; being an American; driving a nice car; specific gifts and talents; crowns of glory to be laid at His feet; GRACE.
We could go on and on, couldn't we? Why don't you make your own list! Share it with me if you'd like. I'd love to read it.
So I'm back. Not consistently, of course, but I'm back.

09-15-08

2008-09-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

I seldom forward e-mails and I try to be very careful about the things I recommend. Books, movies, devotionals, blogs....
But I have a friend, a very gifted friend, whose writing I admire and whose opinions I share, whom I feel compelled to have you read and discover.
Her name is Tara Lynn Thompson and you can find her very informative, humorous, thought provoking, video rich blog at: www.taralynnthompson.com.
Savor. Enjoy. Share.

09-06-08

2008-09-07T13:16:00.000-07:00

We took Jay's car to church today and he drove. This has become a highly unusual phenomenon in our two-person household. I decided on our 25th wedding anniversary that since he drove most of the first twenty-five years, I would drive the next twenty-five. The problem is, that neither one of us likes the way the other one drives. Think "Mr.Magoo vs. Mario Andretti," and you'll have a pretty good idea of things. For the record, Jay is not Mario.
Not only do I drive, we take my car. For two reasons. First, Jay is still driving the only brand new car we ever bought--which we purchased just a couple of weeks before I found out I was pregnant with Jessie. She just turned 21. It hasn't had a working air conditioner for over fifteen years.
The other reason is that we have this unspoken rule that whomever is driving has first say in radio stations. I don't follow that rule much, because Jay listens to ulcer inducing talk radio. Those guys make my blood pressure rise to unhealthy levels so it's really not good for my health to have it on. Ever. I like my tunes!
I just washed and vacuumed the RAV yesterday and since it looked like rain, decided it would be better to take Jay's car. Or what's left of it. Anyway, I didn't turn the radio station and there was some guy on there whose name was never mentioned during the short ride to church, and he was wondering what it is that compels people to be such risk takers.
I turned up the volume. I had just been wondering the same thing as I watched the movie about Antarctica that I mentioned in the last blog. As I was watching these men peer over the edge of a live volcano, or risk death to dive under the ice shelf, or live in a place you couldn't fly into or out of for seven months of the year, I was wondering what inner compulsion drives people to take such grave risks.
The man on the radio this morning mentioned Christopher Columbus climbing into three dinky little boats to get to the west by going east. Lewis and Clark searching for an overland route to the Pacific. Men attempting space flight and landing on the moon.
I was thinking of Steve Fosset the billionaire who has apparently lost his life trying to fly around the globe in a hot air balloon and the Wright brothers trying to understand the key to flight. The list goes on and on.
Of course, my first thought was that all this was just a reflection of us being created in the image and likeness of God.
Radio guy confirmed my thoughts. He read from Genesis 1:26-28. "Then God said, 'Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.' So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them. Then God blessed them and God said to them, 'Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth,'"
He went on to say that the Hebrew words translated subdue and have dominion, means to conquer or subjugate every living thing. Mankind was to overcome all obstacles and challenges. In other words, I realized, this desire, this compulsion, this need for people to conquer has been hard wired into our DNA.
It makes sense. God Himself is a risk taker. What bigger risk could He have possibly taken than to create beings with free wills? Unless it was the risk of offering salvation to those same people. Either way, an incalculable risk was involved.
He went on to say that our job is still to overcome. To the seven churches in Revelation God clearly stated the rewards to those who overcome.
To the church of Ephesus, the loveless church, He says, "To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life which is in the midst of the Paradise of God." (Rev.2:7)
To the church of Smyrna, the persecuted church, He says, "He who overcomes will not be hurt by the second death." (7:11b)
To Pergamos, the compromising church, He says, "To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it." (2:17)
To the corrupt church in Thyatira, He says, "And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations." (2:26)
To Sardis, the dead church, He says, "He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels." (3:5)
To the faithful church in Philadelphia, "He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name." (3:12)
And lastly, to the lukewarm church of Laodicea, He says, "To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne." (3:21)

At the dawn of creation, God brought everything into existence and told the crowning glory of that creation to overcome and conquer the created world. The fall hasn't changed that. We are still compelled to overcome and subdue things.
But after the fall, the picture changes. Now we are to overcome sin through the power of the Spirit. We are to conquer the deeds of the flesh the same way. We are to remain faithful to the One whose Spirit indwells us. We are to overcome the works of the evil one by the power of God and pray that, "His Kingdom come, His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
This life is only a training ground for the next. I've said it a million times, but it needs to be said a million more.
"Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and which have not entered into the heart of man, all that God has prepared for those who love Him." (1 Cor. 2:9)
We can't even conceive of all that God has in mind for us to do in the life to come. But much of it will be determined by how well we allow Him to prepare us for the next life in this one.
It reframes everything. Suffering, disappointment, trials. Our attitude as we navigate this life, our utter dependence on Him to meet every single need, our treatment of His body, the hope that keeps on looking unto Jesus, these are the things that will determine the responsibility God entrusts to us in eternity.

09-05-08

2008-09-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

For those of you who live in Tulsa, I must tell you about the quaint little Circle Cinema "at the very large corner of Admiral and Lewis," to borrow the phrase from Ziegler's commercials.
It is a true hidden gem. They specialize in indie and foreign films and great documentaries. I have recently subscribed to receive their e-mail announcements of what's playing and what's coming, so hopefully I will never have to miss a great movie again. They do NOT show your typical (yawn or yikes!) Hollywood fare. I haven't seen a movie yet that didn't make me think about the wonder and vastness and creativity of God and how we are created in His image and reflect His likeness.
Here are just three of the ones I have seen recently: Man on Wire, Tell No One and Encounters at the End of the World. I've found that if you look for God, you see Him everywhere.
Let's work our way backward, and see how He reveals Himself, shall we?
In Encounters at the End of the World, filmmaker Werner Herzog, "sets his sights on the rarely photographed beauty of Antarctica." Ha! That's pretty much in contention for first prize in the understatement of the century contest! This is not a movie about penguins. Herzog does more than "set his sights." He pulls you in. He introduces you to the unique quality of highly educated and skilled people who seem literally pulled, as if by it's powerful magnetic force, to the South Pole. We are given snippets of their compelling stories and shown their scientific endeavors on the endless, barren tundra of ice where, for half a year, the sun never sets.
We watch a hole being drilled through eight feet of ice and sit mesmerized, shivering even, as the men, with ice crystals forming on their beards, drop a rope of dynamite sticks to enlarge the hole with the express purpose of putting on a mummy's worth of layers and entering the frigid water that is minus two degrees Celcius. The enormity and shock of the explosion nearly lifts you off your seat.
We watch the silent, almost reverent ritual of the divers putting on their gear and inexplicably, dive without lead ropes, knowing that if they get lost, disoriented or simply drift too far from their six foot wide entry spot, there is no hope of rescue. We follow along as they slowly move through a world of altered space and time. We watch their air bubbles rise and dance across the bottom of the sky blue ice shelf. We see the rhythmic, hypnotic, fluttering of giant, translucent jelly fish, their long tendrils indicating the direction they are swimming. Impressive as it was, I know what a jelly fish looks like. I even know what it's sting feels like!
But even more fascinating were both the microscopic and visible creatures no one has ever seen before. It was a good day for the diving scientists: they found three new species never before known to exist. Three!
We watched as others set up a camera over one of only three volcanoes on the planet where you can actually peer over the edge all the way down to the lava bed. Right there in one incredible spot you have the hottest and coldest extremes on earth! It was, quite simply, an astonishing sight.
All I could think about was how incomprehensible God is, how creative, how mind-boggling. Truly, "The whole earth is filled with His glory!"
Of course, there was all this talk of evolution and the Big Bang. And while I imagine that when the voice of the living God shouted into the void, it was a big bang of sorts, it was difficult not to weep that these very brilliant and dedicated scientists were blind to the God whose handiwork they are so taken with. I wanted to shout at the screen, "He's right in front of you! You're staring at and studying His incomprehensible brilliance! He's revealing Himself to you! LOOK and SEE!"

Tell No One is a thriller extraordinaire! For some reason, this movie has stayed with me like no other in recent memory. I am going to see it again. It's in French with subtitles, but it is not at all difficult to read along and follow the action and suspense. And let me assure you, there is action and suspense! The book made it's author a household name and the film maker deserves highest kudos for making a movie that keeps your heart pumping and your mind guessing from start to finish.
I left the theater praising God for the creativity and skills He has given the human beings He created and adores. As a writer myself, I kept wondering how a complex plot, with all it's requisite twists and turns, became a comprehensible story. The mind of the man who thought it all through intrigued me. The mind of God makes me fall to the ground in wide-eyed wonder and astonishment.
He has given us such imagination and creative powers! Yet it is merely the slightest reflection of His own creativity, imagaination and power. We are created in His image and likeness and when we utilize those things that reflect Him, we are reflecting His never-ending glory to the delight of His own great heart!

Man on Wire (the title comes from the terse lines on the police report) is a documentary, replete with original footage, of Phillipe Petit, the daring tightrope walker from France who "walked" between the Twin Towers in mid-air shortly after they were built in 1974.
It's such a great story! This aspiring tightrope walking Frenchman read an article in a doctor's office about the Twin Towers being under construction and immediately became consumed with the idea of suspending a wire between them and walking across! It's a story of an obsession becoming a reality and the years and commitment to his purpose that were required for him to achieve his dream. It's also a story of a team who worked together to help realize one man's goal; of intrigue and deception to scope out the towers in order to formulate a plan and execute it; and of the power of the mind to accomplish what it desires to do.
There is so much original footage you can't help but think Phillipe himself must have known this was an event that needed to be documented so the story could one day be properly told.
Of course, he pulled it off, or there would be no reason for the documentary! He literally danced on the wire for over an hour, suspended above the ground how many feet in the air? with no net. As if one would have helped at that height....
Not only did he have to take into account the up and down and side to side sway of the wire, but it also twists back and forth like a pepper grinder. Can you imagine? Yet he was so in his element, basking in the realization of his dream, that he was completely relaxed. He laid down on the wire, he walked backward, he did ballet turns. All with a giant smile on his face.
I don't mean to spiritualize every single thing, but that movie inspired me beyond belief. It reminded me that God, who has endless capabilities and potential has armed His creatures with the same. I kept thinking of Phillipe's obsession and all I could think was, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he." Phillipe believed, truly believed, even when his skeptical friends were fearing for his life and sanity, that HE COULD DO IT. And so he did.
And we can too. If Phillipe could do what he did without the direct intervention of God, just think what any of us can do with any insane, impossible thing God tells us to do. It was eight years from the time Phillipe read the article until he took those first tentative steps onto the high wire. The police were sure he was insane and, quite frankly, so were some of his closest friends. But he had faith. No matter what, he would not be disuaded.
He did the impossible, the unthinkable, the risky.
I can't think of a better epitaph than doing the same for the Kingdom of God and His eternal glory, because He has equipped us with the power to belive and to do "above and beyond anythign we could ask or think." Let's do it!

08-21-08

2008-08-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share Jacob's journal entry to further explain the point I made yesterday about hell and how it will not be a cause of sorrow for the saints but rather one of rejoicing:

"And they shall go out and look on the dead bodies of the men who have rebelled against me. For their worm shall not die, their fire shall not be quenched, and they shall be an abhorrence to all flesh." ~ Isaiah 66:24

"After this I heard what seemed to be the loud voice of a great multitude in heaven, crying out, 'Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for his judgments are true and just; for he has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality, and has avenged on her the blood of his servants'. Once more they cried out, 'Hallelujah! The smoke from her goes up forever and ever'". ~ Revelation 19:3

I’ve been re-reading a favorite of mine lately, “The Count of Monte Cristo”. It is a masterfully told story of betrayal and revenge. Dumas really draws you in to care deeply about the characters. In brief, the main character is betrayed on his betrothal day by two close friends. The judge, knowing his innocence, instead declares him guilty because it serves his own ends. In prison for 14 years, Edmond plots revenge. After escaping and finding untold riches, he goes back to slowly and carefully exact vengeance from the three men who have enjoyed prosperous lives while he suffered unjustly. One of them even married his fiancée. As the plan unfolds, you really root for Edmond to mete out justice; there is no pity for these despicable men who have been blessed for so long and are now only getting their just deserts. And it is a wonderful triumph.

Simultaneously and seemingly unrelated, I have been considering hell for a while now. It stemmed from a few chance readings and the verse in Romans 11:22 that says “Consider then the goodness and severity of God”. We are commanded to consider both. So I’ve been thinking about hell and it has been tough. It seems to be an area most people either gloss over or make it something other than what it is – conscious, eternal, fiery torment. I told God yesterday that I just didn’t see how this was right or good. I felt unable to rejoice in something God had made. I decided to trust and imagined I would simply need resurrected perspective to really get it.

Then it clicked! The book, of course! Edmond is the Christ figure, handing down a delayed but fully deserved sentence of judgment. In the book I had no desire for mercy to be shown. The convicted were not sorry, and they had enjoyed many blessings in the meantime. I rejoiced to see Edmond’s innocence vindicated and his enemies denounced. In the same way, when sinners are judged as sinners they will remain hating God and without remorse for their sins. It will be a righteous and good thing for them to be condemned. It will be part of the fullness of Jesus' vindication that he finally and fully triumphs over his enemies, as it is cried so often in the Psalms. Incredible as it sounds, this work of fiction helped me grasp this concept much better than if someone had merely told me the same thing. In the book, I was totally drawn in and felt all the emotions in full.

I think a lot of the problem comes from not viewing the damned in their proper light. They are “alienated and hostile in mind”, “haters of God”, “liars, depraved, inventors of evil”. Somehow we get the idea that when it’s all over people will realize who God is and cry out for mercy but their chance will be over so God is forced to torture them forever. No way! They will see God for who He truly is, but this will make their hearts (no longer restrained by any measure of grace or love) revile Him all the more. They will never ask for mercy unless it be in a self-seeking way, only wanting to save themselves from pain. It reminds me of those crime documentaries on TV. They follow the whole case and when the creepy, twisted criminal is in the courtroom he remains cold. It’s sickening to see them show no sorrow for their murders and rapes and other unspeakable crimes. Then, if they do show emotion, it’s only because they want to lower their sentence. They aren’t sorry at all. For those people I want justice, swift, sure, and without chance of mercy. This is the lens through which to view the reprobate and it allows us to rejoice in God’s righteous punishment.

08-20-08

2008-08-20T10:57:00.000-07:00

The Olympics have me incensed. The burning kind, but the aroma is not so sweet. If any of those Chinese gymnasts save one, is actually sixteen then I'm still 39. They are cheating, and except for some laissez-faire comments by all the commentators except Bela what's-his-name, no one seems to be that upset about it! No one is calling it what it is! No one is doing a darn thing about it!
For all the good it will do, let me go on record as saying I'm upset! I keep asking myself why I'm getting so riled up and it finally dawned on me. I am created in the image and likeness of a just and righteous God. Everything in my being cries out for fairness and justice and everything in me cries out against injustice whenever I see or experience it.
I understand King David's anguish when he shouts out in Psalm 94:3, "How long, O Lord, shall the wicked prosper?"
He felt that same righteous indignation, that same internal imbalance we all feel when things are out of order. It's not right that the wicked prosper or that the righteous suffer! It's not right that people lie and cheat! It's not right that people deny who Jesus is and ignore "so great a salvation." It's not right that God is mocked!
I was talking this over with Jacob the other day. And let me just say right here that the only thing more soul-satisfying than having a wonderful dialogue about spiritual matters with my children is having one with the Lord.
He made a shocking point. Jacob, that is. He said, "That's why we will rejoice when the wicked are condemned to hell. We will SEE the righteous justice of God carried out and we will rejoice! Part of Christ's victory and vindication in the end is triumph over his enemies."
I'm not saying we will be glad they are going to eternal punishment in a sort of thumb on our nose, finger waggling, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah sort of way. Absolutely not.
But I do believe we will experience a deep sense of satisfaction when sin is punished, when wickedness is dealt with justly and when God finally vindicates Himself and His standard of righteousness is upheld and honored.
It made me feel a little better about things even though I know I need to pray for the cheaters.

08-17-08

2008-08-17T15:27:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm back again, erratic as ever. I'm assuming it gives you all something legitimate to gamble on. Will she post today, or won't she? I'm going with N-34 and a "yes!" Bingo!
The truth is, I don't want to sit here and peck out words just to be doing it. I really want to have something valuable to write or I am guilty of being just another version of "clanging cymbals."
But the truth is, when God is in your life, there should always be something of merit to talk or write about, right?
We simply can't exhaust the subject of Him. He is too big, too vast, too powerful, too amazing, too incomprehensible, too involved in our lives.
I can never get over the fact that He hears my prayers! It makes me weep every time I think about it and it is one of the things I give thanks for constantly. (Note to self: never have your prayer time after you have put on your make-up.)
Whether I am in my antique recliner, my "prayer chair," in my living room, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, or in the shower or in my car or anywhere I might be, when I open my mouth to pray, or even think the thought, the great and mighty God of all creation, the incomprehensible King of all glory, adjusts His cosmic GPS, answers His cosmic cell phone and gives undivided attention to the concerns of my heart. This is so astonishing I can never quite get over the wonder of it all. And not only does He hear my feeble prayers, He answers them! He answers me! Personally. Specifically. Lovingly. Beautifully. In ways both supernatural and practical, to the point I have no doubt it's Him. Is it any wonder we will worship Him for all eternity? As if the essential element of salvation wasn't enough, He has made me a joint heir with Christ and He hears my prayers and moves to answer them!
This is radical. Is it any wonder "the gospel is foolishness to those who don't believe"? I mean, come on! People think you're kidding. That you're nuts. But it's TRUE!
I can take the deepest heartache, the most nagging question, the most desperate need and lay it at His feet. And when I do, the most remarkable thing in the world happens. The Spirit of the Living God begins to stir and move. He dispatches angels, activates circumstances and arranges divine appointments. He moves in the unseen realm until the manifestation comes in the realm we live and move and breathe in. The realm we call "reality."
And that's where the essential, deal-breaking element of faith comes in. We pray, "Thy will be done, on earth as it is being done in heaven," and "call those things that be not as though they were." Most of us have been Christians long enough to have more than a mustard seed of faith. I'm thinking watermelons here.
Yet we get discouraged at times, when prayers seem to not be answered. That's when we have to get back into our prayer closet and tell ourselves the truth! We have to pull out our mustard seed and look it over real good. We have to activate our faith. Affirm it.
Beacuse even if a mustard seed is all we have, Jesus makes a remarkable statement in Matthew 17:20 when He says, "Truly I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you shall say to this mountain, 'move from here to there' and it shall move; and nothing shall be impossible to you."
What an incredible statement! Faith is the key. And faith is only built in the times of private prayer, where we pour out our heart, our dreams, our hopes, our frustrations to the God who hears and answers. Where we lay at His feet every problem and concern and "the sin which so easily besets us." Where we ask for wisdom when we lack it (James 1:5), comfort when we need it (2 Cor. 3-5), a refuge when we are being assaulted (Ps. 46:1). When we need to defeat the enemy of our souls (James 4:7), stand firm in our faith (1 Cor. 16:13; Eph 6:14) be a witness (John 15:27), glorify God (Rom. 15:6; 1 Cor.6:20), extend forgiveness (Matt. 6:14-15), and on and on it goes. Whatever you need, God is the source.
Oh, Dear Ones, this is not what I was going to write about! I was going to talk about how hell is just and those of us who love Jesus will rejoice when justice is served and be glad for it! But another time.
If you are frustrated or overwhelmed; if you are defeated or despairing; if you are in any way walking in your own strength, let me ask you how much time you spend in private prayer. It is only at the feet of our Lord that we find every need met. In fact, the very art of prayer lies in the pouring out of our souls before God who hears and answers. It is the most spirit- nourish- ing of duties, and should be a constant delight.
We are His friends and true friends enjoy spending time together, they arrange it, and they pour out their hearts to each other. How much more should we, who profess to be deeply in love with Christ, make a point of meeting with Him regularly to tell Him all that concerns us, to be encouraged, to listen for instruction and simply enjoy His presence?
If you are struggling in any area, have a deep unmet need, goal or desire, I would encourage you to evaluate the time you spend in deep and earnest private prayer. Like a lover, (because He is the lover of our souls...) He is waiting for us to sneak off to be with Him. Do it now! He is waiting!

08-06-08

2008-08-06T14:56:00.000-07:00

Time flies. Or so they say. And they must be right because we are ankle deep into August, Jessie goes back to OU this Saturday, Christmas is once again going to be sooner rather than later and I haven't blogged since July 21st. Sigh.
There has been a lot going on, to be sure, but none of it seemed blog worthy until I was reflecting on all God has been doing lately. It's like He is working overtime to make up for lost time. Though I know that's just my perspective, it certainly seems to be the case.
God answers prayer. We all know that. It's in the Bible. We say it, we believe it, we tell others even--or especially-when it seems not to be the case. When God seems silent. Or uninterested. Or sloooooooow to move.
My favorite answers are the ones that come immediately, or at least by the next business day. And that happens quite an eye-popping lot, actually. Though which of us ever gets used to the idea that the immortal, invisible, incomprehensible, completely unique God of all creation moves on our behalf and answers our meager, heart-felt prayers, the cries of our heart, the thoughts in our mind and the passions in our spirit?
I am ever amazed that He sees me sitting in my comfortable antique recliner, in my living room, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and listens attentively to my prayers. Not only does He listen, He moves in the heavens, in circumstances, in people, in situations, to actually answer those prayers! If, like me, you have been a Christian a long time, you sort of expect it, but do we ever get used to it? I must admit that I don't, because when I see that He's moved, that a prayer has been answered, I am always as amazed as I was the first time it ever happened. It makes me weak in the knees. I am constantly embarrassed that my awe hinders my thanks. I stutter.
On the other hand, I'm at the point in my life journey where I have lived long enough to have prayed for years about something without seeing the answer. Inevitably, doubt sets in. Despair. Unbelief. The death knell is resignation. I become resigned to something simply because I can't see what is happening in the unseen realm, therefore I am fooled into thinking God must have put it on the back burner or that nothing is happening!
Oh! Foolish Galatians! Or something like that. It's not true. From the moment the words leave our lips or the thought escapes our mind, God is at work--in us, in others, in circumstances, in every possible area. The God who never faints or grows weary is calling us to do the same. To trust, to believe, to not lose hope, to cast all our cares on Him. We need to fill up those "golden bowls of incense that are the prayers of the saints" that Revelation speaks of twice.
I am saying this because I have been praying for years about something and I am finally seeing God move! I am astonished! Delighted! But I am also a bit disappointed that I ever doubted and fell into to the brier patch of resignation.That I quit praying. Or quit praying with passion.
Truly, is there anything to hard for the Lord? I am learning first hand, having been told and having believed that my entire Christian life--yet still falling into my own version of unbelief-- that there is not.
If God can create everything seen and unseen, if He can name all the stars, if He can take dry, bleached bones and turn them into a living, breathing army, He can do anything I ask. The problem for me, and for many of us I think, is that sometimes it takes time. And the more time it takes, the more apt we are to assume God has chosen not to answer.
But I am here to testify that I am seeing the most amazing and creative answers to prayers I have been yearning and praying for for almost 25 years! God hasn't forgotten. He does hear! He IS able!
So take heart. Seriously. The hardest most difficult thing, the one you have lost faith over, the one you have resigned yourself to and quit praying about. That one. Take to Him again. Ask. Expect. Believe.
He hears.

07-21-08

2008-07-21T16:15:00.000-07:00

Well, my cadre of faithful blog readers, you have seen first-hand how far my resolve takes me. I resolved to blog more consistently and so far I have only managed to be consistently inconsistent. This might also help explain my inability to lose weight. Apparently dieting for the better part of the day, or even the better part of an entire week is not sufficient commitment for double digit weight loss. (Long, heavy sigh.)
In my defense, I don't want to write to just be pecking away with no point, and I don't want this blog to turn into a rant, though trust me, there is plenty to rant about. In fact, if I'm not careful, it would be much easier to rant than edify and that would be counterproductive on so many levels.
So....with a few exceptions, I do my best to confine the rants to my prayer closet. With the door tightly closed. And locked. That way God can't get out and no one else can get in. It's better for everybody that way.
That's one thing I really like about God. You can rant, you can even rant at Him occasionally, and He doesn't pout or withdraw or get His feelings hurt or threaten to smite you. He doesn't even roll His eyes. He lets us duke it out. He listens to everything we have to say. He lets us tell Him everything that frustrates and confuses us. Even when we accuse Him of appearing to be absent or slow or distant or uncaring or a procrastinator.
Job did it. And Jacob. And Moses. And David. And Elijah. And Jonah. Heck, the list of who didn't give God a piece of their mind in their brief appearances in Scripture would be shorter than the one of those who did.
In fact, to take a bit of a left turn here, I'm going to put together a talk about all the people in the Bible that begged God to just go ahead and kill them!
Moses, Elijah, Job and Jonah spring immediately to mind. Every one of those guys had some fairly heated conversations with God about what the heck He was doing and why He was doing it. They were essentially saying, "I don't get it; I don't like it; and You've got some serious 'splainin'' to do, Big Guy."
But perhaps the best part, the most essential element, is that God always listens and, if we are also listening and not just ranting or pouting, He eventually answers. And His answers are perfect and brilliant and wise and provide the perspective shift that allows us to reframe our thinking, calm down and put our trust firmly back where it belongs.
When David, having acknowledged the incomprehensibility of God, asks with head-shaking gratitude and awe, "What is man that Thou art mindful of him?" the answer is loud and clear. "You are loved with an everlasting love." Valued. Treasured. Adored.
"Why?" we ask. "How, when I have violated all Your commands in a thousand different ways?"
The answer seems to be the same one our parents told us and we told our children: "Because I said so."
That's all I need to know.

07-11-08

2008-07-11T11:29:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, I was driving back from the funeral of a friend's not quite 22 year-old son who had died suddenly and without warning.
He was almost exactly the same age as Jordan had been when he left this mortal life for the one he is enjoying now and will enjoy forever.
Although Jordan was closer in age to this young man's older brother, the boys had grown up together in Sherman, Texas. Our families went to the same church and on Friday nights every one dropped their children off at the church to attend our home fellowship group while the kids enjoyed their own version of "fellowship."
I was one of the first people my friend called from outside her son's apartment. She and her husband were two of many who had walked with us through the nineteen year roller coaster ride that was Jordan's life. They were on my "Dear Ones," newsletter list. They wept with us when Jordan died, and she kept (and still keeps) in frequent e-mail contact with me.
So I had to go to the funeral. And as much as I dreaded it, I wanted to go to the funeral. I needed to offer whatever small comfort I could. I understood her unspeakable grief and I needed to hold her tight and let her sob.
It was a very dignified service. Simple. Sad. Yet full of the assurance he was enjoying the same joys Jordan was experiencing. We even asked each other if Jordan might have been one of the ones who were privileged to usher him into the presence of God and giggled at the thought of these boyhood friends exploring heaven together.
I followed the caravan to the cemetery then started the drive home, but I couldn't get him off my mind. There was no explanation for his death. He had just died. A month or so before his twenty-second birthday his earthly life was unexpectedly over.
I was closing in on a semi and mindlessly gauging when to pull left to pass him when I saw something on the back of his truck I had never seen before. There was a sign with his picture on it which read, "Congratulations Marvin: the 1,000,000 mile club." I realized with a shock that Marvin was being acknowledged for having spent enough time in an 18-wheeler to have driven over a million miles!
I wanted to honk and wave as I passed him, but I was afraid he might get the wrong idea. Still, a million miles! I couldn't help but wonder how long it had taken him, how many days and weeks and months and years of his life he had spent behind the wheel barrelling down some highway. I wondered what he did when he wasn't driving; if he had any hobbies he enjoyed or interests he perused. I wondered about his family and how old he was. I wondered if he acknowledged and served the God who had granted him life and continued to grant it to him.
I kept thinking about the contrast of these two men: One I knew, one I didn't. One young, one older. One taken, one left. One sitting, one soaring.
My mind went to a little Scripture chorus we used to sing in YWAM taken from Psalm 90:12 where it says, "Teach us, dear Lord, to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom."
I couldn't help but reflect on how well I was doing that. Was I properly applying my heart to wisdom or just barrelling down the highway of life?
We often read those good intentioned slogans that are supposed to help us focus on what's important in life like, "Live each day as if it is your last." That's ridiculous, of course. I mean really, if you knew this were your last day on earth, what would you do? Go to work? Take out the trash? Dust the mini-blinds? Send a frantic e-mail? Pray? Read this blog? Well, okay, I'll grant you that one...
But seriously, there is no way we can realistically live each day as if it were our last. But I know what the people who spout that tripe really mean. We should live fully. We should savor life. We should appreciate all we have. We shouldn't sweat the small stuff. We should worship God and enjoy those He has given us.
We should live as if this life matters. Because it does. And so does what we do with however much of it God allows each of us.
"May you live every day of your life." Jonathan Swift

07-07-08

2008-07-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting e-mail exchange with a friend of mine the other day. It made me think about the different gifts God has given each of us.
Some have what could commonly be called the more "visible" gifts of apostles, prophets, pastors evangelists, and teachers. Others have what might be considered the "invisible" or "behind the scenes" gifts of administration, organization, hospitality or intercessory prayer.
Every gift is necessary. But I think we are all guilty at times of putting more value on the gifts that get attention than on the ones that don't. It makes sense, on a certain level. After all, we see these people operating in their gifts! Therefore, we often slip into assuming they are somehow more important than others, including ourselves. It can also lead to putting them on a pedestal. It's a real human tendency, but not necessarily a good or accurate one.
During the years we were going back and forth to the "Children's Hospital" in St. Louis on a regular basis for Jordan's pre-transplant check-ups, and certainly in the days and weeks following his surgery, I saw firsthand a marvelous picture of how the church should work.
A hospital might not be the first place you would think to look to find a picture of the body of Christ in action, but I have never forgotten the startling insight it afforded me, and that's what I was explaining to my friend.
Every single person who was employed by the hospital had a job to do. From the custodial staff to the technicians to the nurses to the residents to the surgeons. And although in that secular setting there was a very real pecking order, it occurred to me there shouldn't be.
After all, if the people who were responsible for creating a germ-free operating room and sterilizing the equipment didn't do their job, the surgeon's skills would be wasted because the patients would invariably die.
If those responsible for making and delivering the meals didn't do their job, the patients would have a difficult time getting the nutrition they needed to recover.
If the nurses didn't tend to the patients after the surgeon brought all the years of his schooling, training and skill to bear, the outcome might be quite different than if they received the post- surgery care and attention they needed.
If the technician didn't perform the necessary tests, there isn't a single doctor who wouldn't be at a severe disadvantage in treating the patients.
Likewise, if the surgeon wasn't highly educated and rigorously trained for years, a lot of the other jobs I just mentioned might not be necessary.
So whose job, in this unique community of joint effort for a specific purpose is most important? Which is more valuable?
I think the correct answer is: None of them. Or all of them equally. The truth is, it takes all of them performing their individual responsibilities to the best of their ability to create a successful outcome.
And so it is with the church.
Paul makes the point quite clear in 1 Corinthians 12:14-27, where we read: "For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot should say, 'because I am not a hand, I am not a part of the body,' it is not for this reason any less part of the body. And if the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I am not part of the body,' it is not for this reason any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, as He desired. And if they were all one member, where would the body be? But now there are many members but one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, 'I have no need of you;' or again, the head to the feet, 'I have no need of you.' On the contrary, it is much truer that the members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary; and those members of the body which we deem less honorable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and on our unseemly members come to have more abundant seemliness, whereas our seemly members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked, but that the members should have the same care for one another."
So there you have it. We each have a job to do that has been graciously bestowed on us by our loving heavenly Father according to His unsurpassed wisdom.
None of us are more important than the other. And God makes the paradoxical statement that the weaker parts are really very important and the ones we think aren't worth much are the ones we are to give the most care to. Remarkable.
If you don't know your place in the body of Christ, I hope you will pray and ask the Lord to show you where and how He would have you serve.
If you already know, I hope you will pray that the Lord will keep you from comparing yourself to another and thinking your part is less important than someone else's.
And when you have a chance, you might give a hearty pat on the back to someone whom you know is listening to their "Head" and exercising their gift and contributing to the body.

07-03-08

2008-07-03T18:01:00.000-07:00

Well boys and girls, it been a busy, productive day. Lots going on that's probably too boring to tell. But in keeping with my new commitment to write every day....okay, that probably won't happen... but more regularly, at least, let me leave you with a prayer.
But not just any prayer, mind you. A Puritan prayer. I'm tellin' ya the truth, those Puritans had it going on! They had a different understanding than some of us do of sin and grace and contrition and our spiritually poverty stricken state and desperate need for Christ.
So, from "The Valley of Vision," I quote you a beautiful prayer and hope you will make it your own.
"Thou art the blessed God,
happy in Thyself,
source of happiness in Thy creatures,
my Maker, Benefactor, Proprietor, Upholder.
Thou hast produced and sustained me,
supported and indulged me,
saved and kept me;
Thou art in every situation able to meet my needs and my miseries.
May I live by Thee,
live for Thee,
never be satisfied with my Christian progress
but as I resemble Christ;
and may conformity to His principles, temper, and conduct
grow hourly in my life.
Let Thy unexampled love constrain me into holy obedience,
and render my duty my delight.
If others deem my faith folly,
my meekness infirmity,
my zeal madness,
my hope delusion,
my actions hypocrisy,
may I rejoice to suffer for Thy name.
Keep me walking steadfastly towards the country
of everlasting delights,
that paradise-land which is my true inheritance.
Support me by the strength of heaven,
that I may never turn back,
or desire false pleasures
that wilt and disappear into nothing.
As I pursue my heavenly journey by Thy grace
let me be known as a person with no aim
but that of a burning desire for Thee,
and the good and salvation of my fellow human being."

I sincerely hope I am not violating any copyright infringement laws. It's a beautiful prayer, but I'm not sure it's worth going to prison over...

07-02-08

2008-07-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

I was with two different groups of women today. Both groups are comprised of awesome, godly women it is my privilege to know. I deeply love and admire every single one of them, and I treasure how God made them.
The morning group is doing a weekly abbreviated "Celebrate Recovery" version of the program over the summer. I have the distinct honor of facilitating the group, but the goal is to help with a ministry one of the women in the group is starting. The name is, "Hope Restored," and it is designed to be a house where women who are trying to get their lives put back together after prison, drug abuse, etc., can come to heal, let go of shame, learn practical life skills and be restored to a place of dignity in society. Lives will be changes and that's awesome!
One of the requirements for acceptance in the house is that they be actively involved in "Celebrate Recovery," a Christ centered 12-step program.
I told the woman starting "Hope Restored," that it didn't seem fair to ask the women who would be coming into the house to do something the women who would be working with, and hoping to minister to them, hadn't done. Not only was I concerned that we wouldn't be speaking the same "language," I was afraid there would be not a real point of contact. A lot of the women who have volunteered to help have the appearance of having all the blessings and none of the heartaches of life. It's not true, though. We are finding out first-hand, as we are open and honest and candid with one another, that we all have, "Hurts, habits and hang-ups," that God needs and wants to address in each of us. He is graciously doing a work in us so that we can aid Him in doing a work in the women He brings to the house. I think we have all been surprised, sometimes painfully, sometimes pleasantly, by all He is doing in us so he can work through us.
The second group of women were my "core group" in the weekly Bible study I attend. Every year the groups are mixed up again with no more than 15 in each group. But for some reason, that year, God did something unexpected and marvelous. We bonded to such a degree that we didn't want to stop meeting. So we didn't!
We met all through that first summer, throughout this past year and now into the second summer. We call ourselves the "Yadas" and not after the book. We are a prayer group and supposedly Yada means something spiritual. I've forgotten what, so until I remember, just take my word for it.
At first I thought the name was really corny, but I have come to love it. We meet once a month. and we can't wait to be with each other! It's one of the biggest highest highlights of our collective month. We talk and share and laugh and eat, of course, but we also pray.
In both of these groups, we are open and honest and real. Warts and all. Because we all have warts so there's no sense pretending we don't.
Pretense always breeds isolation because you think you can't afford to let anyone really know you. These women are the antithesis of what is all too common in our churches these days and I love them for it almost as much as I need them.
I also have a small prayer group of four women that meet in my home to pray for our families every other Tuesday, as well as my almost weekly meetings with my favorite 30-somethings, Tara and Kristen.
Then there is the other group of three women who are determined to see, "The Rhyme and Reason Series" published.
My gosh! As I type this, I realize how incredibly blessed I am! God has given me not one, not two, but an entire bevy of solid, get-to-the-point committed Christian friends who love and pray for each other. I feel rich beyond measure in the things that matter most. I don't wear a diamond on my finger. Mainly because I don't have one. Instead, the Lord has sprinkled sparkling diamonds of greater and eternal value all around me. And I cherish them with more passion than I could ever value compacted coal.
My heart is overflowing with gratitude, but here is my point: Twice in Scripture (and I know I've said this many times before because it's one of my favorite themes...) God tells us He has named all the stars!
We all know that if God says something once, He means it. If He says it twice, He's making a point of making a point.
Isaiah 40:25-26 says, "To whom will you liken Me that I should be his equal? says the Holy One. Lift your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, not one of them is missing." Wow. That should be enough right there. But Psalm 147:4 confirms this incredible statement: "He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to them all."
I personally don't think this is hyperbole. I think He said exactly what He meant. With the same care and thought with which we name our children, God has named the incalculable stars in the incalculable galaxies of which we can't even find the end.
And if it's true that the universe is ever-expanding, that means He is giving birth and naming star babies all the time.
And yet. Oh! And yet! We are His priority! He loves us with an everlasting love! I am convinced the stars are just a hobby. It's us He adores! It's us! What a worship inspiring thought!
And if we love and serve a God who can name more stars than we have a number to count, doesn't it make sense that the "hurts, habits and hang-ups" that seem so monumental and confusing and trying to us are nothing at all to Him? Nothing! Besides, He promises that, "He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus."
I'm afraid in my case even that won't be long enough, but what a marvelous, comforting, hopeful thought!
Not only that, He's grace-gifted me with all of these women I can just be myself with, whom I know will pray for me as I pray for them. And I do.

07-01-08

2008-07-01T15:14:00.000-07:00

If the road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions, I am well on my way. But now I have a new intention. A good one, of course, because they always are, aren't they? Where is the road going, I wonder, that is paved with bad intentions? Hell, of course. I'm sure of it. It just doesn't seem fair, does it?
My newest intention is actually an old one: to blog more regularly. I want to. I try to. I mean to. But then I get busy or can't think of anything earth-shattering to write about. Besides, I have never liked the clunky, abrupt, vomiting sound of the word "blog." Who came up with that, anyway? Where's an untraceable gun when you really need one?
But so many of you have come out of the woodwork after yesterdays blog that I feel compelled to use the gift God has given me more regularly. I'm pretty sure that in Ephesians 4:11, right after "apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers" is "blogger." I'll double check.
Besides, even if no one actually reads our stuff, it is essential that we writers actually write. Preferably on a daily basis. Words are to us what crack is to an addict. We have to do it! I can't tell you how satisfying it is to find out that people actually read what I write on purpose! It feels a bit like Sally Field accepting that Oscar.
By the way, if you want to check out my favorite writer and blogger who is also a personal friend, go to www.taralynnthompson.com. She writes almost every day, but usually just a paragraph or so. Not only is she a brilliant, gifted writer, she's hilariously funny.
Now here is my thought for the day, courtesy of Zig Ziglar. "You can start anywhere and get where you want to go. Life is a great teacher. Failure is only an event. And regardless of what happens to you along the way, you will eventually come to understand that everything that occurs teaches and prepares you for the next stage of life."
Well, I certainly hope so, or else it's just a crap shoot!
Thanks to all of you for your kind words and encouraging responses. You motivate me!

06-30-08

2008-06-30T15:36:00.000-07:00

My In-laws are the "keeper of the grave." Let me just tell you, they do a really good job of it too. Every holiday, there is a thematically coordinated set of flowers that satisfy my appreciation for aesthetics and also look surprisingly real. Christmas is especially spectacular with the tree and ornaments and grave cover. And there is no doubt that they are singularly responsible for the grass that grows where there had been nothing but dirt in the days and weeks after the burial.
Me? Not so much. And it's my son's grave! I'm sure they wonder who is going to give theirs the same devoted attention when they eventually die. But it probably won't be me. I'm sure they have resigned themselves to that by now.
I know people have different needs and different ideas of what is helpful in their grief, but the truth is, it makes me incredibly sad to go out there and stand over his earthly body and read the dates on the grave marker. All I can think about is his body being in a cold, wet grave when I know his spirit is with the Lord.
And I think about the day we lost him when all I could do was sob, "My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby over and over again. I couldn't stop saying it and I couldn't stop sobbing. I was inconsolable. We all were.
I think about that most grievous of moments at other times, but for some reason it is especially fresh when I stand at his grave. When I'm not there I don't dwell on the excruciating pain and loss. Rather, I wonder what he is doing, what indescribable sights he is seeing and who he is talking to. I delight in thinking about how he is helping the Lord decorate my mansion because they both know my taste. I smile when I think about him waiting expectantly and being the first one to meet me when it is my turn to cross the veil.
When I am engulfed in grief and loss and missing him so much I think my heart will simply stop beating, I make myself think about God's greatest gift to me this side of salvation. It happened the day he died. We were driving back from Norman where we had picked up Jacob and told him his brother, whom he'd just seen that morning, had survived the emergency surgery only to die in "recovery. "
It was late at night as we headed back to Tulsa and thunderstorms were raging. There had been a couple of tornadoes up and down the turnpike. I sat in the back seat of Jay's best friend's truck with Jacob's head on my shoulder trying to comfort him. When he finally stopped sobbing I turned and stared out the black window that was being pelted by an angry storm. Suddenly, there flying an arms length from the truck, I SAW JORDAN! His spirit, I mean. But I saw him! Oh my gosh. There is almost no way to describe it! He radiated the shekina glory of God. I know what it looks like, folks, and it is brilliant and golden and translucent and it radiates from within your entire being ! He radiated pure joy. None of us, in our best moments, have expressed what I saw at that moment. As he flew alongside the truck, arms stretched above his head, he gave me two thumbs up. His spirit spoke to mine as I'm sure we will all communicate in heaven and said, "Can you believe this mom?!"
And he was so happy! I have never seen that kind of joy. I laughed because he was so happy and free from his poor, tired body. I looked at him with tears running down my cheeks and pressed my hand against the window and said, spirit to spirit, "I love you, Jordan!"
He looked at me like I had just told him the sky was blue and said, "I know mom! I love you too!" There was the shared amusement of stating the obvious. We looked at each other and laughed. It was so unbelievable. And memorable. And healing.
And do you know what? The best part about it all is that I know it was real and not just the hallucinations of a grieving mother. How, you ask? Because he looked just like he would have looked if he had never had the transplant! His face was lean and smooth. There was no puffiness from the steroids. His hair was soft and thick and curly just like it was before the drugs made it course and dark and thin. He was ALIVE. Radiant. Oh my gosh! He was more alive than any living soul on this planet!
So I don't like to go out there. I can't stand to think about the physical reality when I have seen the spiritual reality. Ah! And the latter is much more comforting!
I miss him every single day. More as time goes by. It is often the moments of remembering his present reality that get me through the unspeakable loss.
(I love you son!)

06-13-08

2008-06-13T15:22:00.000-07:00

For some reason I keep thinking about that madman in Austria who kept his own daughter prisoner under his house in a sealed dungeon of sorts and repeatedly raped her for 24 torturous years. She had seven children by her own father, six of whom lived, and three of whom his inconceivably unsuspecting wife raised.
The story is horrific beyond belief and that alone would be enough to keep it on my mind long after it has left the pages of the newspapers.
But it was his statement to the police that undid me. He said, "I'm not a monster! I could have killed all of them any time I wanted to, and I didn't."
When the story first broke, all I could think about was how long the abuse lasted. He was 74 when he was arrested and it had gone on for an unimaginable 24 years. That means it began when he was 50. I kept wondering at what point in his life the first thought occurred to him. And I wondered what he did with it. Did he reject it? Was he horrified by it? Then I wondered at what point he began to embrace, encourage and entertain what obviously became a recurring thought.
James 1:14-15 lays it all out pretty clearly: "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust is conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death."
That is exactly what happened. His unbridled, untamed thoughts led to fantasies, which led to plans, which at some point he carried out all for the sake of satisfying his depraved lust. I'm sure there was a moment in time when all he could think about was "the plan." What I can't figure out is how he began to justify it all to himself in his own mind.
And now he tells the world he isn't that bad of a person because he didn't kill them? Is that what deception does to people? Yes. That's exactly what deception does to people. It leads them to justify their behavior and minimize their sin, at all times, at any level.
And the Lord had the audacity to tell me I do the same thing! Not only do I minimize my sin in my own mind, even when I do acknowledge it, I often presume on His grace! "Here we are again God, I was wrong, You'll forgive me, no need to make a big stinkin' deal out of it, right? Besides, I'm really sorry."
If I truly believed, even with the incomprehensible gift of grace extended to those who believe, that on the other side of every sin--every sin--lies a just hell punishment meted out by a fair and righteous Judge, perhaps I would look at my sin differently. We know the believer is not going to suffer the punishment of hell. Our sins are forgiven. What an awesome gift! But if we don't treat our sin as hellishly serious, we are presuming on grace. And if we really understood and believed that, how much differently might we treat not only our sin, but His grace?
In various verses in the book of Proverbs alone, our hearts are described in these tragic terms: wicked, cunning, perverse, deceitful, evil, unwashed, disloyal, straying, stubborn, dull, foolish, proud, crooked, raging, envious, destructive, heavy and hard.
Wow. How utterly tragic. That's what God has to say about all of us, not just that wacko in Austria.
But there is hope, and it comes from God, who is the only source of hope. He leads us into paths of righteousness for His name's sake. He renews our mind. He tells us the truth. He IS the truth! How desperately I need Him!
Here is my prayer for myself and my prayer for all of you in abbreviated form from, "The Valley of Vision: a Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions:
"O Spirit of God, If Thou seest in me any wrong thing encouraged, any evil desire cherished, any delight that is not Thy delight, any habit that grieves Thee, any nest of sin in my heart, then grant me the kiss of Thy forgiveness, and teach my feet to walk in the way of Thy commandments.
"Deliver me from carking care, and make me a happy, holy person; help me to walk in the separated life with firm and brave step, and to wrestle successfully against weakness; teach me to laud, adore and magnify thee, with the music of heaven, and make me a perfume of praiseful gratitude to Thee.
"I do not crouch at Thy feet as a slave before a tyrant, but exult before Thee as a son with a Father.
"Give me power to live as Thy child in all my actions, and to exercise sonship by conquering self. Preserve me from the intoxication that comes with prosperity; sober me when I am glad with a joy that comes not from Thee.
"Lead me safely on to the eternal kingdom, not asking whether the road be rough or smooth.
"I ask only to see the face of Him I love, to be content with bread to eat and raiment to put on, until I can be brought to Thy house in peace." Amen.

06-11-08

2008-06-11T15:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I turned 50 today. FIFTY! I can't believe I'm actually as old as it seems like my parents aught to be, and I can't believe I got here so quickly. I think I might have skipped a decade somewhere along the way, but when I look back, they all appear to be present and accounted for. It's a mystery...
My husband says he can't believe he is sleeping with a fifty year-old woman and, quite frankly, neither can I.
It's been an interesting ride, and like all of you and everyone who has ever lived, no doubt, it has been filled with unexpected delights, unexpected heartache, thrills, chills, spills and a hint of Vaudeville.
In it all and through it all, whether I knew it or acknowledged it at the time or not, there was one constant. God was there. Not one moment of my life, not one thought in my mind, not one attitude of my heart, not one desire or ambition or need or hurt or longing or anything about me escaped His omniscient awareness. Not one!
There is a Scripture the Lord has brought repeatedly to my mind today through various means. Because it has been brought to my attention over and over again, I am convinced He wants me to absorb it and meditate on it and understand it and embrace it and breath it and believe it in the very core of my being. It is Psalm 139:7-18 and it reads:
"Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; if I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Thy hand will lead me, and Thy right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, 'Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night,' even the darkness is not dark to Thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to Thee.
"For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
"How precious are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand."
Wow! And the best part is, it's all true! The great God of all creation, the maker of heaven and earth, the immortal, invisible, incomprehensible, eternal One loves me with an everlasting love! It will probably take all of eternity for me to properly absorb it, it's so unbelievable!
I marvel with David, shake my head in disbelief, when he asks in Psalm 8:4, "What is man, that Thou dost take thought of him? And the son of man, that Thou dost care for him?"
And yet God declares over and over again in a hundred different ways that we are, "the apple of His eye." Amazing. Beautiful. Incomprehensible. Healing.
There is more on my heart. Much more. There always is! But I think that will be all for this particular therapy session. 'Till next time.....

05-28-08

2008-05-28T15:40:00.000-07:00

My, my, my. It has been too long since I chatted with you last. I promise to do better now that things should be slowing down a bit, but they have been busy up 'till now. A week long trip to NYC with my friend Vicki and her family, a family wedding in Durham, North Carolina, and our short but entirely fabulous, God-driven, 3-day trip to Rome, Italy, with Jacob and Jessie.
By the way, I simply must mention that Jacob graduated Magna cum Laude on May 10th from the University of Oklahoma with a degree in "multidisciplinary studies," which is a smorgasbord of science credits. I am as proud of him as a parent could possibly be.
God has an interesting way of redeeming things. I have always regretted that I was such a pitifully poor student from kindergarten on and completely pissed away my college experience, so I am grateful that two of my three kids are excelling beyond my wildest hopes. This is obviously their father's side of the gene pool...
Before we left for Italy I was over at Kristen and Tara's and picked up a book that was lying on a counter in the kitchen.
I know I mention them a lot in this blog and it has nothing to do with the fact that they actually read the darn thing. It's just because once we began circling in each other's orbit, the sheer gravitational pull of our spiritual passions and purposes has kept us circling ever closer to one another.
They became roommates about a year or so ago, but because I already have one, I only get to visit once a week.
Anyway, on one such visit I picked up a book and flipped through it as I was waiting for them to stop flitting around so we could get down to business. And there is always business, but the business is always fun because we are actively helping each other pursue the call of God on our lives in practical ways. Like them setting up this blog and posting the three two-minute video clips of me on You Tube. Ha! That cracks me up! I'm on You Tube! The goal is to help provide a broader scale of opportunities to speak words of life, love, hope, help, truth and comfort to hurting Christians.
I readily admit I have been the greater recipient of these get togethers thus far, but one thing I did learn in kindergarten all those many long year ago was to share so their turn to reap what they are sowing is coming soon.
But back to the book. It's titled, "Hidden in Plain Sight: the Secret of More," by Mark Buchanan. I had never heard of him before and, quite frankly, the subtitle, to my mind, made it stink of the "prosperity gospel."
Nothing could have been further from the truth. It is a very readable exposition of the seven virtues outlined in 2 Peter 1:5-7 I'll save you the trouble of looking it up and type it out for you. "Now for this very reason also, (The reason being, is explained in vss.3-4, 'seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness...in order that you may become partakers of the divine nature...') applying all diligence in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge; and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, Christian love."
Simple enough, right?
Too bad it's not simple, because in verse 8 and 10 God makes an extraordinary promise. He says, "For if these qualities are yours and increasing, they render you neither useless nor unfruitful in the true knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." But verse 10 is even more astonishing. It declares, "For as long as you practice these things you will never stumble."
Did I read that right? I'll never stumble? Really? Then I'm doing something wrong, because I stumble all the time! And yet God Himself has given me a seven dose prescription for never stumbling! This is mind-boggling. We are cautioned against making absolute statements like "always" and "never" and yet God makes the most incredible absolute statement of them all! He states quite clearly, "YOU WILL NEVER STUMBLE!"
Wow. Who is the God who sees me?
"The heavens cannot contain Him. The whole earth is full of His glory." He is a God who reveals Himself. "In Scripture, we meet the God of revelation. In worship, and prayer we meet God in Spirit and in Truth. In creation, we meet Him through His handiwork."
Psalm 34:8 rightly says, "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!"
He is leading and protecting me. He is telling me the way I need to go if I want to ensure that I never stumble. Incredible. Astonishing. Thrilling.
I gave the book back last night and quite honestly, from this point on I don't recall where his thoughts end and mine begin, or are mixed together with his, but none-the-less, I want to share them with you. Where I am sure it's Mark Buchanan talking I will put it in quotes.
"The knowledge of God is the most important knowledge of all." Knowledge about Him--of Him. "You can know, like the teacher in Ecclesiastes, all there is to know, and find it all meaningless. But to know 'the One in whom you have believed' is saving knowledge." The pearl of great price. The hidden treasure for which a man will sell everything to buy the field. The thing every human being yearns for on the most primitive level and only realizes he's found once he's actually grabbed a hold of it.
He talks about each one of the seven attributes and why they build on each other. I was especially zeroed in on self-control since that is, right now at least, my weakest link in the chain and the one which affects all the others.
He writes, "Self-control is a trained capacity to think clearly about what matters most. It is a disciplined attentiveness to what God has done and is doing. A heightened sensitivity to spiritual reality, including a shrewd awareness of how the devil seeks to play havoc with us. It's about paying attention."
"The purpose of self-control is to make us holy as God is holy."
Now there's a concept.
Holy as God is holy. And never stumbling in the process. I just can't get over that!
One last disjointed thought: "The practice of dying to yourself is most often worked out in the mundane more than the heroic. It's often the retort or self-vindication you don't speak. The key is to take you complaints to God before you take them to anyone else."
Hosea 6:3 says, "So let us know, let us press on to know the Lord. His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth."
Come to me, Lord. Rain on me. Rain--no, don't just rain, drench me in faith, moral excellence, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and Christian love.
Help me to cultivate and increase in these attributes so that I will never stumble and will be fully equipped to faithfully fulfill Your call on my life. Amen.

05-12-08

2008-05-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

My seventy-nine year old neighbor died suddenly Saturday. She was at the flea market with her daughter, suffered a massive stroke, was rushed to the hospital and died a few hours later.
We'd been good neighbors to one another for eighteen years; polite, egg borrowing, mail gathering, house watching neighbors. We'd chat if we both took our trash to the curb or picked up our newspapers at the same time. She never wanted to be a bother and I tried not to bother her unless I needed that egg or my phone line was down and I needed to use hers.
After her husband died from the effects of Alzheimer's a couple of years ago Jay was good about helping her with heavy lifting and I took her food occasionally if I had extra and thought she might like what I'd made.
But I never invited her to church and I never shared Jesus with her. Oh, I talked about Him. She knew we were regular church goers. After Jordan died I told her I knew he was with the Lord and she said she thought her husband Bill must be too, because he was "a good man." I didn't dispute the fact, but I didn't press the matter either, asking her, "What is good?" Nor did I tell her, "There is none good but God alone." Or explain the truth that, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I never shared with her how she could be assured she would be with the Lord when she died.
And as I was trying to have my prayer time today, I knew that I had done her a grave disservice. I had neglected to "Love my neighbor as myself." My literal neighbor. I stood silent and mute as she walked in darkness. I kept a bushel basket over my light.
I was sick at heart as I felt the Lord's deep grief over my neglect and I know that I will have to give an account to Him one day. I can only stand even more ashamed than I am right now when He asks me why I never told Shirley about the salvation I hold to be more valuable than life itself.

When I was in NYC this past week, we had VIP passes to "Good Morning America." I was really interested in seeing the studio and seeing how a television show is put together. We had no idea who was scheduled to appear, we just showed up at the appointed date and time.
Turns out Clay Aiken was there, having just come out with a new CD and wrapping up his run in the Broadway production of "Spamalot."
We were scrunched in, standing shoulder to shoulder with pushing hordes of ardent, swooning "Claymates." Who knew this odd subset of society existed?
They were mostly middle-aged or older--old enough to be his mother or grandmother--and certainly old enough to have more important things to do with their lives and time than follow this young man around. At least it seemed to me they should.
I couldn't get over their idol worship. No pun intended. They talked about him as if they knew him, as if they had just had spam and eggs with him that morning.
At one point someone on the set held up a set of keys and asked if they belonged to anyone in the crowd. The woman next to me said, "They're probably Clay's!" She wasn't quite blushing, but I had the distinct impression that she knew more about him than his mother. I looked at her with a mildly bemused expression and said, "Does he lose things?" She became as animated as a Disney cartoon and said, "Oh, yes, he loses things all the time."
All I could think was, how does she know this and why does she care?
It reminded me of when we were in Memphis last year for part of our vacation and went to visit Graceland. Unbeknownst to us, it was "Elvis week." Not only was it Elvis week, we had inadvertently gone on the actual 30th anniversary of the day he died!
I can't even describe the scene. There were elaborate and homemade funeral sprays lining the long walkway up to the house and surrounding his grave. They seemed endless and they came from all over the world. The crowd was enormous; there were people everywhere. The place was packed, the lines were long, the ticket booth overrun, the parking lot jammed with tour buses.
There were men of all shapes and sizes dressed in white jumpsuits with giant gold buckles and black pompadours and woman with wrinkles, bouffants and bad make-up wearing Elvis buttons and t-shirts that said, "Number One Fan!"
A lot of people said they come every year, that it is especially beautiful at Christmas. Excuse me? I wasn't getting it.
The entire experience was surreal and quite frankly, depressing. The guy had been dead for thirty years and people were holding vigil at his grave praying to his spirit and waiting for him to come back from the dead. I'm not making any of this up.
It was shocking and bizarre and the entire experience made me realize with a clarity I had never had before that people are created to worship. And if they don't worship "in spirit and in truth" they will worship in misguided deception. And whether they worship an ideology, a movement, themselves or someone else, make no mistake. They will worship something. I wanted to shout to these people that there was only One who had died and come out of the grave.

By God's rich and unsurpassed grace, I walk in the "mystery of the Gospel" Paul refers to in Ephesians. I am saved. I know the truth. I know in Whom I have believed. I posses, in my spiritual hands, the pearl of great price.
But I dishonor God if I hold on to it and don't make every effort to share it with those in my sphere of influence.
In John 14:15 the Lord says, "If you love Me, you will keep my commandments." He confirms this Scripture in 1 John 4:20-21 where he reminds us, "If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he can see, cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also."
I am deeply convicted of how empty my proclamations of love for God sound to Him if I am not doing every thing I can--setting aside my discomfort and my schedule and dying to my flesh--in order to reach the lost with the hope of the Gospel. If I "hate" my neighbor by not proclaiming the gift of salvation that alone offers the fulfillment every person seeks and the eternal destiny we all desire. I pray that each of us who names the name of Christ will proclaim that name to everyone we come in contact with.
I don't want anymore missed opportunities. "Help me Lord, to speak boldly for You, to reach those You love with an everlasting love and died to set free from the bondage of sin."

05-01-08

2008-05-01T14:53:00.000-07:00

MAY-DAY! MAY-DAY! Or, if you prefer, happy May 1st. It's been a very long time since I've swung around a Maypole. The one on the Cassidy school grounds was much too close to the lake and if you lost your grip at the wrong time, well, you went swimming. In your uniform.
I'm sorry, is it just me or did we celebrate Christmas just last month? It seems so to me and here we are writing May 1 on our checks already. What happened to February? Or March or April for that matter? My life is flashing before my eyes in 24-hour increments. It wouldn't be so bad except I'm not sure how many of them I have left.
It's very motivating. I'm starting to care less about finally getting my basement fixed up (but it's going to happen!) than I am about accomplishing all God has in mind for me to further His kingdom.
To that end I am attending a Kay Arthur seminar in OKC this weekend to help me learn to study the Bible with a more in-depth approach. The goal is two-fold. The first is to enhance my personal study time. I love the Bible study I am in but I am virtually salivating for better ways to dig the nuggets of wisdom and truth out of God's living, breathing word. Secondly, I want the effect of goal one to have a positive influence on my teaching.
We (my friend Ana and I) will return on Saturday night and then I am flying out way too early on Sunday morning to spend a week in NYC with my friend Vicki. Her husband has to be there for a week of training and since I fly free she asked if I wanted to come play in the big city with her while her husband worked. Did I? Hello! Ummm. Affirmative.
All of this to say I might be out of pocket for a while. I don't know if I will have the time or opportunity to write in NYC. I will if I can. If not, I will jot down my thoughts and write them out when I get home.
Meanwhile, I want to encourage each of you to spend a few minutes every day in purposeful prayer. It might be sitting silently in His presence. It might be pouring out your heart in petition or confession. It might be praying Scripture over yourself or someone you love. Whatever. Just make an appointment with your Heavenly Father. Then keep it.

04-30-08

2008-04-30T14:27:00.000-07:00

I must confess that I am genuinely shocked, flattered, pleased and motivated by the number of you who have told me you are reading and enjoying this blog. The majority of you don't post your comments, which is fine, but e-mail or tell me in person. Thank you. It's very gratifying. I was born to write so I would write even if no one else read the blog or anything else I peck out, but it is certainly affirming to realize you are. So thank you again.
I guess I'm going to have to tell Tara and Kristen they were right. If you recall, they were the ones who helped me set it all up and have encouraged me to continue writing and posting. I was telling one of you in an e-mail today that when I went to Thailand it seemed important to write. I felt like I was reporting. That I was taking all of you on a virtual journey with me. But to just sit and peck out my thoughts and comment on what God is doing in my life didn't seem like it would have the same impact or appeal. You have no idea how blessed I am to know God is using the gift He has given me to communicate with all of you whom I love! My hope is that we will inspire each other into a deeper walk with our gracious Savior.
If there are specific things you would like to ask about--personal or otherwise--let me know and I will try and address them. It would certainly help direct my ramblings. Sometimes I have a thought I want to share and other times, like now, I just type and wait to see what shows up on the computer screen!
The two Bible studies I was involved in have just ended. In CBS (Community Bible Study) we systematically studied the Gospel of Matthew for 32 weeks. It was fabulous. It's incredibly beneficial to study God's word with others because people always have delicious insights that never occurred to you and the energy and excitement seem to build during the discussion of God's marvelous truth.
My friend Ana, from our church, initiated Beth Moore's 12-week study of the book of Daniel. I was never a huge fan of Beth. There is something about her that used to irritate me a bit. But truthfully, there's probably some professional jealousy involved because I would much rather be doing what she's doing than watching her do it, but she's growing on me and this particular study was fabulous. If you have a chance to participate, I'd highly recommend it.
Studying two such seemingly different books as an Old Testament book with confusing time line issues and a Gospel made me realize once again the incredible layering and continuity of Scripture. It was like a puzzle gradually taking shape as it was worked from both sides and each piece was put precisely in place.
I know you already know this, but our God is AWESOME! Staggering. Mind-boggling. Brilliant. Incomprehensible. Yet He loves us with an indescribable, almost unfathomable love and He cares about the smallest details of our puny lives. I understand David's flabbergasted question in Psalm 8:4 when he asks, "What is man, that Thou didst take thought of him? And the son of man, that Thou didst care for him?" Indeed. Indeed.
Probably my all time favorite Scripture--and this is a hard and subjective call--is found in Isaiah 40:18-26. I won't type it all out here. Read if for yourself. But I will write out the last two verses of that passage.
"'To whom then will you liken Me that I should be his equal?' says the Holy One. Lift up your eyes on high and see who had created these stars, the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power not one of them is missing."
When I was with Youth With A Mission way back when, the first missionary trip I went on was to La Paz, Mexico, on the tip of the Baja Peninsula. We we slept in tents and at night the only light in the pitch black campground was whatever your dim flashlight could produce. Trust me when I say the sky was black. I mean as black as the velvet on a sidewalk Elvis painting. You couldn't see your hand in front of your face.
I used to take my flashlight and walk out past the campground to a large concrete slab whose purpose was never clear. I would lay on my back and look into the vastness of space and see more stars than I've ever seen before or since. They filled the sky! I saw countless pin pricks of blue-white light that were farther away than I could conceive. I saw the wispy white spiral of the Milky Way. It was always so incredibly awe inspiring I'd burst into spontaneous worship. The tears tickled as they ran down into my ears but I couldn't stop worshipping the Lord. There have only been a few times when I have felt His presence as closely as I did in those moments. It was like I was touching Him.
The first night I lay on that slab, I ran back to the campground, my heart bursting within me. I asked the Lord to speak to me. Oh, how I wanted this God I had just felt so intimate with to talk to me!
I grabbed my Bible and ran to the only building in the campsite that had electric light. I prayed again and opened my Bible right to the passage above. I'd never read it before. There is no way on earth to describe the electric bolt that shot through me at that instant. God talked right to little bitty me!--specifically and pointedly--and let me know that He was so big and vast and mighty and incomprehensible that He had named every single one of those stars I had just been marvelling over. Incredible. And all I could see was one tiny sliver of the vastness of space. There are galaxies upon galaxies. I personally think the stars outnumber the sands on the sea shores.
Think of it. There are more stars than we can fathom and God tells us TWICE in Scripture that He names them all. Psalm 147:4 says, "He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to them all." Wow. If He is capable of that, could anything be too hard for Him?
Could my sin? No, He's made provision for it to be forgiven and remembered no more. He remembers the names of the stars, but not my sin. Incredible!
Can a stronghold? No, He tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:4 "The weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful of the tearing down of strongholds." Astonishing!
How about unbelief? No, like the demon possessed boy's father in Mark 9:24, all we have to do is say, "I do believe; help me in my unbelief." Reassuring!
Provision of practical needs? Well, He calls Himself Jehovah Jirah, our Provider, and declares that He clothes the fields and feeds the sparrows. And surely, He does. He also reminds us we are infiniately more important than any other created thing. Comforting!
So what then? What is too hard for our God? We all know the answer. I guess the better question is: "What have I been pretending is too hard for Him?" Whatever it is, it's a lie.
I'm not sure how to end this except to say we all need to understand Who it is we serve. The great and mighty God of heaven and Creator of everything seen and unseen.
I know exactly what I need to take and lay at His feet. What about you?